Hello? Yep. No, I'm out on a ride. Yep, I'll call you back love. It's OK, I'm fine. Alright,
see you later. Bye!
Here's GCN's Top 10 things not to drink on a bike.
Soup
The bicycle, as wonderful a device as it is, is no place for proper soup consumption.
Matt, why have you brought soup? In a bowl?
Couldn't put it in a bidon could I? It's all chunky! Chunky vegetable. I forgot all my
bread rolls.
Matt, come on. A man of your experience - how are you still forgetting stuff?
I know...I've brought my fork as well!
Oh cheers Si, thanks very much.
Mmm, that's gorgeous!
Beer
Just because beer is the world’s most consumed alcoholic beverage and indeed the third most
consumed drink of all, behind water and tea, this doesn’t give you enough reason to use
it as a rehydration aid out on the road.
I do like a good, creamy head.
Same here.
*If you like Piña Colada* *And getting caught in the rain*
This exotic, tropical rum-based cocktail has been the official beverage of Puerto Rico
since 1978 and was made even more famous by the song ‘The Escape’, better known as
the ‘The Piña Colada Song’.
*...I'm the love that you've looked for, write to me and escape...Ooo hoo hoo hoo!*
Supersize Coke
Musettes can sometimes be full of surprises...
Hope there's a cheeky little coke in there, Si. What have we got?
...but a supersize coke certainly isn't something you'd expect to find.
What the heck is that?
Or the bucket, as it's commonly known in cinemas throughout the world. Not on the open roads.
It's really nice though. Oh!
Champagne
Unless you’re the winner of a Grand Tour celebrating with teammates whilst being
snapped by the world’s press, quaffing champagne whilst out on your racer is simply just showing
off and winning a Strava segment won’t quite cut it either.
Cheers Matt.
To Strava.
To talent!
Tea from a pot
I'm about to blow. I need a bottle alright, can you get me a bottle?
Nowhere in the history books has there been any mention of tea being taken out on a ride.
Ah god. Sorry Si, I've had a 10km chase. Lloydy wanted crumpets!
Seriously Matt, if you're going to be a domestique, you're going to have to get a little bit fitter, alright?
If this is Earl Grey then you're probably in luck.
I thought you wanted breakfast tea?
Oh for god's sake Matt! That's what Lloydy wants, Lloydy likes breakfast tea!
Milkshake
A little bit overboard with the straws, Matt.
Well it's all in the preparation, I just wanted to make it an occasion. A milkshake's a treat,
it's something to look forward to. It takes you back to your childhood, to your youth,
and I've done my best!
Well, you can only do your best, Matt.
Do you want some of mine?
No!
Coffee
I could really, really do with a coffee right now.
The café is not for miles.
We all know that coffee is best taken when sat down and I don’t mean in the saddle.
Legend!
Si, do you take sugar?
I do actually.
We’re well aware of coffee’s addictive qualities - just don’t let it get to you that much.
It must be like the coffee equivalent of sous-vide - it's just been cooking gently at 37.5ºC
in your back pocket.
There's explosions on the back of my tongue, Si.
That might be something else, Matt.
Power Smoothie
Well, how do we get one of those?
Luckily, I came prepared.
All I need - and I didn't bring one with me - is a blender. You couldn't sort me out with one, could you?
Yeah, hang on a sec.
Cheers Si, thanks very much!
I just need myself something else.
Hello? Yep. No, I'm out on a ride.
Feel a bit more prepared now, Si, so let's give it a plunge.
Fresh as the driven snow, sir.
Oh, cheers Matt!
Hearty and nutritious...
Oh we're not moving!
...and we haven't even stopped.
That is amazing. I feel like Chris Froome!
Fizzy drinks in your bidon.
Carbonated drinks have carbon dioxide dissolved into them, and as such are held in vessels
designed specifically to withstand the resulting pressure.
Not a bidon.
Unless you want a small, sticky explosion a couple of minutes into your training.
Oh yeah...
The golden stuff
I've sliced my pineapple, I'm happy to go in.
Let's give it a plunge.
I can't get the pineapple out mate.
We'll get one for you later!