you've managed to hold my attention
and I haven't even had the urge to pull out my phone.
You're a lot less boring than you look.
And I appreciate that.
- I'm a hugger, come here.
Ah, bring it in so nice to meet you, finally.
Who are you?
- Even though we are meeting for the first time in this life
from a spiritual perspective, we are the same person.
I am you and you are me.
And therefore we have known each other forever.
Anyway. Would you like to get a burrito?
- Hello, nice to meet you.
Well, that's all the social energy I have for one day.
Goodbye.
- It's great to finally meet you in person.
You know, I did a little bit of research before meeting up,
you know took a look at your social media,
found your resume, found one of your old blogs from 2014,
pulled up a couple of traffic violations,
did a quick genealogy search.
- Hi there. Nice to meet you.
How are you doing?
- Good. How are you doing?
- I'm doing great. How are you doing?
(awkward)
- The compatibility test on Ur My Type, must be broken.
You and me, friends? It's entirely illogical.
- It isn't even obvious to me
what they mean by compatibility.
- Well, that depends on what you mean by obvious.
- The worst thing about meeting new people is
that they're new, and they're people, and you meeting them.
- You know what, I think of strangers
as just being friends, that I haven't met yet.
And unfortunately, I think of some of my friends
as just being ex-friends
who haven't stabbed me in the back yet.
So please don't become one of those people.
- I'm trying to streamline my life as much as possible.
So I'm only looking for friends
who can double as business partners.
And if a lady friend could triple
up as my significant other, that would be awesome.
If she can do my taxes, I'll marry her on the spot.
- Oh my gosh, you watch Netflix too.
And you like music? And sports?
And puppies? And pizza?
Oh my dog! We're going to be the best of friends.
- Well, after 20 minutes, I know everything about you
including your family drama, your deadbeat acts,
your IBS issues, and your favorite drink at Starbucks.
The only thing I've told you about myself so far is my name.
And you know, I prefer it this way.
- It's a great thing this Ur My Type app
has a global mode to meet people from all around the world.
Not because I couldn't find any closer matches
but just because I felt like taking a 2,000 mile
road trip to grab coffee with someone.
- When two strangers meet, they both bring with them
all the heaviness and pain from their own lives.
But to the other person, it seems nothing more
than a tragic comedy that will play itself out
upon the stage of life until the final curtain falls.
But we seem to be having a good time, right?
- Sally, very nice to meet you, Sally.
Sally, tell me a little bit about yourself.
Who is Sally? What is Sally all about?
Let's start with what you do for work, Sally.
Go on, Sally. Don't be shy, Sally. Sally, Sally.
- I am reading her like a book, her body language
and facial expressions are giving away
her deepest thoughts.
How embarrassed would she be
if she only knew how much...
- Hey,
Hello?
Anybody home?
I asked you a question.
(awkward silence)