[Anthony] I haven't exactly been the most open and honest with you guys
and
I just
started keeping a diary. So I figured what better way for you to get to know me than for me to show you my first
entry from today.
I actually recorded me writing this entire entry, today. There it is:
Dear diary,
Today has been really tough
really tough and rough and
stuff
People just don't understand how rough and tough and stuff it is to be a social-media
influencer in 2018.
Oh my god!
What is wrong with me? Has it- has it really been so long that I've forgotten how to write with a pen?
No
NO!
NOOO!
God dammit!
Have we really lost our ability to function in this society without the help of technology? No.
No, I'm not like other Millennials. See wait, but let's let's recount what I did today
* Memory Flashback Sound Effect *
My alarm woke me up in the morning
I did power yoga for 30 minutes with my instructor.
[Female Instructor Voice] "and vinyasa and choose your own adventure here.
Strengthening happy, soft and easy."
[Anthony] My car drove me to get something to drink, because I was thirsty, obviously.
Can I get a kale smoothie?
Then I ordered some lunch when I got back home.
Alexa! Order me some avocado toast on postmates.
[Alexa] "the top search results for avocado toast" [Anthony] No, on postmates!
Alexa! On postmates! Order it to my door
[Alexa] "Hmmm. I don't understand." [Anthony] Alexa! Are you fucking serious?
[Alexa]"The top search results-" [Anthony] No,
Don't search- don't search this. See, see I'm not like other Millennials. Okay. I'm much more into-
Can you hold on a second?. [Camera guy] Who is that? [Anthony] It's no one it's- don't worry 'bout that. [Camera Guy] You really get, postmates?
[Anthony] Yes! Yes.
Okay? [Camera Guy] - Alright!
[Anthony] Shh!!!
[Delivery Guy] Hi, Mr. Anthony!
[Camera Guy] Thought that was a joke.
[Anthony] Your life is a joke.
And then I- then I... Uuh!
What was I again? [Camera Guy] Something about you not being like other millenials... [Anthony] yeah!, yeah!, got it, okay, alright!... Look, see I'm not like other Millennials
but
Why can't I remember how to write?
Hey? Dude, uhm
though
I'm having
Somewhat of a crisis, here. You think you could watch me do something and tell me what I'm doing wrong?
[Dude] Ya. [Anthony] Cool, thanks.
You now- what? Don't follow me, don't make this weird! FaceTime me.
[Camera guy] Really?
What?
Hey.
[Dude] Hey.
[Anthony] Yeah, so you see I just write like I would normally and uh-
nothing.
[Dude] I mean, that- that makes sense. You are left-handed, you're probably-
[Anthony] Left-, left-handed? Why would you think I'm left-handed?
[Dude] What?
Hello?
What's happening?
[Anthony] Shit!
So let me know if you guys want to see any more diary entries.
See you later, bye guys press a like.
Oh f-
Oh my god, aah.
God, who can fucking smile that long, is that good?
Did we get it?. [Camera guy] Yeah. [Anthony] Good? [Camera guy] Yeah! That's fine!
[Anthony] Do you think we can edit out all the parts where I'm...like not smiling and stuff,
[Camera guy] Maybe. That will be hard!
[Anthony] Oh, shit!