I'm sure a lot of you guys have heard of a website called Thesaurus.com.
It's pretty much the go-to website when you need to write a paper,
or you have to sound super sophisticated, but you don't know how to.
You can't just write like normal people talk in day-to-day life.
Are you crazy?!
Do you want people to think you're stupid or something?
Use fancy words, like "Baffling", and "Henceforth".
and... obsequious.
obseqious?
Obseqious.
I'm- I'm getting off track already...
but
why do you teachers want us to write things in a way that most people don't speak?
Makes much more sense to write a paper in the words you'd use instead of someone in.. the 1800's.
If I wanna say "Penguins live in the cold", I wanna be able to say "Penguins live in the cold"!
I shouldn't have to go out of my way to change it!
UUUGH.
I got the same exact plan across in both paragraphs,
but one took me 6 seconds to write, and the other took me EIGHT MINUTES, PLUS MISERABLE POINTS. :(
No joke!
I sat on there at my computer for like, a solid 3 minutes, just staring at my script, like:
"ugh.."
"i really don't wanna do this right now"
Why is this a thing?! Why do people expect this from people?
The teacher doesn't even talk like this!
If anything, it just wastes everyone's time, and it still turned out like crap.
Like really?!
"icy barron land of Antarctica"? what?
The only other scenario that I can think of that actually uses language like this are those super dramatic
Animal Documentaries.
Think of the time we could save if we could just write our complete opinions on essays without sounding like we
crappily plagiarize Shakespeare.
We could be a lot more productive as a society! :)
Just kidding, we'd all still look at memes on the Internet.
But think about how many MORE memes you could look through just by saving that much time writing essays.
Take note, teachers...
I know you don't like reading through all our hogwash either.
anyway, so you gotta write something important, and you gotta sound smarter than you actually are.
Let's be honest,
80% of our generation talks like:
"ayy lmao"
"it's lit fam"
"LOL"
"cringe."
"i'm dead."
*lols*
I'm sorry.
So what do you do?
*snap*
Thesaurus.com, baby. (solve's all yo problems)
Why would you use the word "said" when you can write "aforementioned".
Why "walk" somewhere when you can "perambulate"?
Who "think"s anymore? I "intectualize".
It doesn't matter if you can pronounce the word, it's all about the aesthetic of it.
Look at these beauties.
They're what's gonna get you that A- on that essay, not these lackadaisical words that normal people use.
Shoo, get outta here!
It also works with resumes! ..at least I think so I haven't written one before.
You have to sound way more qualified than all these other lame-o's.
You're the one who's been gainfully employed at one of the the top 10 food chains in the United States, and have
manufactured and specialized in the serving occupation for half a year before discontinuing the position.
SEE!?
That sounds way better than saying that you worked at Applebee's for 6 months before being fired.
I got a good starting word for all you folks out there, looking to impress people with big words.
YEAH! Toss that one into a conversation and just watch the people gawk at your knowledge.
Hey, that Colin's got some pretty good equanimity going on over there. He'll probably do good on the test tomorrow.
*gasp*
I do have one question for the Internet. How many of you sneaky little beans use the website for work and studious things,
i didn't even use the website for that one, HAH!!
and how many of you use it for writing fan fictions?
I really wanna know. Do you wonder this? I wonder this.
Do more students use it, or do more fangirls use it?
I'm not saying I read fan fiction, but I know enough about the Internet to understand that there are people out there
who can get pretty...
expressive with their fan fiction stories.
like.. yeah.
Thesaurus.com people, is there a way to like, track, I don't know
the percentage of users who look up average words and the percent who look up more...
questionable ones? that are more... passionate? :|
"Smirking", "Ravenous", "eyes-widen",
"grinned seductive-"
I'm stopping there.
So, let's conclude the video by revamping some common boring phrases, with the help of Thesaurus.com.
"Hoopla blabs more rambunctious than discussion."
"The most superlative instrument from the time of hacked nourishment."
"Disallowance to mourning over scattered liquid produced by mammals."
you can also replace "liquid produced by mammals" with "moo juice"
"To what degree come about your mood here and now?"
"Acceptance the one in question would prevail out of this world."
"Do you authorize conduction of our own selves constituting a gathering appointment?"
"Indubitably."
Feel free to use any of these phrases in your life whenever you want, it's my treat to you.
Tweet at me if they help you make new friends or if I get you a job.
You're welcome in advance.
Also, when I was searching for phrases to Thesaurus.com-ize?
I Googled "most popular english phrases"
and apparently, I don't say "About 300 kilometers" as much as everyone else does.
"Amy is John's girlfriend"
I ship it.
They can be found- they can be found wandering the icy barron- umm habi-
They can be found wandering the i- huh- eh.
icy barron, the ICY BARRON
We could be a lot more productive as a suz- as a society.
as a society.
*lols* oh god.
We could be a lot more productive as a soci- ety..
as a society.
OH GOD
We could be a lot more productive as a szu- society.
UGH ho hoh...
I do have one question for the Internet,
*cough* *cough*
that was not the question..
or do more fangirls use it? or do more- or do more fa
or do more- why is this so hard to say?
or do more fangirls- or *hits something*
OW!
Actions speaks louder tha- actions speak *sigh*
it's the double S's again.
Hoopla blabs more rom-
*lols*
this is so stupid..
Hoop-
*lols*
i can't- ugh, i can't do this