- It sucks when you find true love,
but they end up being a murderer.
Hi friends.
It's me, Bailey Sarian.
And I'm back at Netflix, yeah.
I guess they were pretty impressed
with my detective skills because they called me up again
and they were like, Bailey,
we need you to solve more murders and mysteries
while you do your makeup,
and I was like, okay, so I'm here.
Don't worry, I got you Netflix.
This is "Case Closed" with me, Bailey Sarian.
(mysterious music)
So today I'll be watching "The Woman Inside the House
"Across the Street From the Girl in the Window."
Yeah, that's a title.
That's a title.
So this is dark comedic parody series.
And it starts iconic goddess
and the source of my sleuth inspiration, Kristin Bell.
It apparently also features her drinking a lot of red wine.
And honestly, good for her.
You deserve it.
So who is the murderer?
Is there even a murderer?
Well, let's take a look at our case file.
(Bailey vocalizing)
Okay, suspects.
Anna, Carol, Buell, Neil, Emma, Sloane, Lisa,
sexy Rexy, Douglas, Detective Lane, therapist,
Elizabeth, nobody at all or, me, Bailey Sarian.
Apparently I am a suspect.
It's not looking good for me.
Okay, if you look into my background,
what I do for a living,
all signs are gonna point to me, all right, so.
Great.
Right off the bat, there's a lot of suspects.
I'm interested in sexy Rexy.
That's a good MySpace name,
'cause there's like two Xs in both of it.
Okay, so let's get into some scenes
from "The Woman Inside the House Across the Street
"From the Girl in the Window."
Let's go.
(ominous music)
(meat thudding)
♪ Rain, rain, go away ♪
Creepy music.
I love cream of mushroom soup.
I mean, her casserole recipe's better than mine.
I don't even attempt a casserole.
- My husband used to tell me
that I have an overactive imagination,
that I drink too much.
- I feel like she's a very relatable woman.
Sometimes we just have days
where you wanna talk in an accent.
Drink too much.
I get it, been there.
- But sometimes I speak
with a British accent even though I'm not British.
He's right about all of it.
That's why he left me.
- So she's drinking a whole bottle of wine, which is fine.
I mean, classy.
She's a woman.
Strong, independent woman.
(calm music)
Oh, so they're moving in.
That's her new neighbors?
- No wife?
- Single.
- I'm Neil.
We just moved in across the street.
- Did you?
- Neil seems like a very nice, young man.
Is he single?
They could like, you know,
- You're very pretty.
- hang out.
- Is your dad a good cook?
- Not as good as my mom was.
She died.
- Aw, sad her mom died, which is like,
they just met.
That's what she's opening with.
- I am going to bring you a yummy chicken casserole
for dinner tonight.
(ominous music)
- Was that her casserole?
She worked so hard on that.
What a waste of food.
Is she drunk?
- Just stupid ombrophobia.
Fear of the rain.
- Oh. - Oh.
- Yeah, there's usually some kind of phobia someone's got.
(Bailey chuckling)
- Those are beautiful.
- I feel like that we're all struggling with something.
We're all afraid of something.
She's just afraid of rain.
That's normal.
I wonder how she does in showers.
- Wow.
Wow, my wife was really into art.
- That was nice of him though,
to be like spying and save her
'cause how did he know so quick that she fell
unless he was watching her, and he was watching her.
- I haven't painted in a long time.
- I like how she looks so pretty still soaking wet.
I look like a swamp witch when I get wet.
Everything starts running.
My hair turns into a frizz ball.
- This is totally unsolicited advice.
I think you should paint again.
- Maybe that's the motivation she needed
just to start painting again.
Some dick.
It's always good motivation.
Don't paint for yourself only paint to impress that dick.
You know what I'm saying?
- Oh, Emma.
I forgot to tell you.
Anna is an artist.
- Can I show you a drawing I did?
- Yes, please.
- And my duck.
- Cute.
Ducks are cute.
Everyone love a duck.
- Thanks.
- Who doesn't love a duck?
She's giving me weird vibes.
I think she's just, she's the killer.
- Can I help you?
- But it's so far, I don't know.
Everyone's just kind of doing their own thing.
- Oh my God, you must be Anna.
Yeah, Neil said you guys had such a wonderful time
last night.
- I'm sorry, who are you?
- Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
I must be jet lagged from work.
I'm Lisa, Neil's girlfriend.
- Oh no.
He has a girlfriend.
- Babe. - Hey.
- That's messed up.
- At the same time.
- Definitely something he should've mentioned
when they were hanging out the other night.
Aw, so cute.
I think she's jealous.
Well, obviously,
'cause she's alone with her wine.
(car tires scratching)
(woman screaming)
What, did she just run her over?
Oh, okay.
She's just imagining that she's running people over.
Sexy Rexy.
Okay, who's this?
Oh.
Lisa.
(rain splashing)
(ominous music)
Uh-oh, murder, blood.
(Anna gasping)
(Anna screaming)
Oh, right, she has a phobia.
Uh-oh, nope.
She's gonna go down.
Oh, too bad.
I always wonder what I would do in that situation
if I saw someone get murdered.
I think I would talk myself out of it.
I'd be like, no, that was just Koolaid.
That was just Jell-O.
I didn't see anything.
Okay, so Lisa got murdered.
Well, as of right now, she's murdered.
So who would want Lisa dead?
Well, Anna would want Lisa dead
because, obviously, Lisa is kind of questionable.
Like who is she?
What is she doing?
And she's kind of, yeah.
So, wait, I don't know.
Neil, I mean, they're all questionable.
I don't know.
I don't know where this is going guys.
- Your neighbor was very confused
when we showed up to his door telling him
there had been a report of a murder in his home.
- What are you saying?
Where is she?
- On an airplane.
- What?
- She's a flight attendant for Olympia Airlines.
- Someone killed her.
I saw the blood.
- You've had all this wine.
- I kinda think Anna, maybe, is hallucinating
or maybe she's just drinking too much.
I mean, she's drinking a lot.
- I know what I saw.
- I love Googling people, and just like,
I don't wanna say stalking because it's not stalking
if it's public information, it's just doing your homework.
You know what I'm saying?
It's the best.
The worst is when you hit a dead end
and there's nothing on them,
and you're like, okay, how do you have nothing on you?
That's suspic.
- Oh my God.
- Maybe he's the murderer.
To be fair, you always have to question the husband
or the partner first.
(ominous music)
So.
- Hey, no, stop it, stop it.
- She's doing too much though.
Like she needs to mind her own business.
She needs hobbies.
- You killed your wife.
- What?
And Emma's teacher. - I don't know.
'Cause I feel like when somebody is surrounded by death,
I mean.
- Lisa is not dead.
- Sometimes it's not a coincidence.
And he seems to be surrounded by a lot of people dying.
- She drowned.
- And you were a suspect.
- Yeah, and I was cleared
- Well, I don't know. - 'cause it was an accident.
- This is stressful.
I think I believe him.
I don't see why he would lie.
Well, yes I do.
That's silly.
- And I want to believe you.
- [Caller] Looks like his sheet goes bad.
- Sexy Rexy.
(ominous music)
- After you.
You never saw me.
- Oh, please.
- You don't know anything
about me. - Okay.
(door knocking)
- I'd do him still.
- I just want answers.
- I beg just one more time before you murder me.
- That's all I want too.
- Don't you think it's pretty convenient
that you can see everything over there.
- What are you saying?
- She didn't die two nights ago.
I bet she faked the whole fucking thing.
- Faked it?
- She's smart, she's fucking smart.
- I know what I saw.
- And she knew you were watching her.
Bored soccer mom with nothing better to do
gets to play detective.
Pokes around on her Instagram, finds me.
She knew I'd take the bait.
- Why would she want you to think that she's dead?
- So I won't come after her so she can keep all the money.
- What money?
- Neil's money. - It makes sense.
I mean, why not?
I mean, especially if you have a nosy ass neighbor
and you can put on a little performance
and get away with it and make off with someone's money.
That was pretty smart.
If only scammers would work as hard as they scammed.
Good for her.
(dog howling)
I love dogs.
(dog whimpering)
What's that?
She's dead?
Oh my God, plot twist.
Wait a minute.
Huh?
It's him?
- Let me know if you want sugar.
- He did it, he did it.
She's in the way.
Oh no, run girl.
- You're good at being sexy.
- Run.
It sucks when you find true love,
but they end up being a murderer
'cause they're really cute together.
It's a shame.
- I didn't do anything.
- If you cannot afford an attorney,
one will be provided for you.
- Bummer.
- I didn't do it.
- I kinda think it might be him.
I mean, he would want that girl out of the way.
- He did do it. - She cause some problems.
- You're lucky he didn't do it to you too.
We released Rex back.
- If he didn't do it--
- Detective lane, you're gonna wanna see this.
- Who did it?
- Would someone please tell me what's going on?
- We found a murder weapon, Anna.
- Okay?
- It was a pallet knife just like these.
- What are you saying?
- She did it, she did it.
- You think I did it?
What possible reason?
- You tell me?
Maybe you wanted what she had.
- Oh, that's insane.
- The handsome fellow, the cute little girl.
The perfect family.
- What, what are you talking about?
- There's--
- Detective Lane.
(ominous music)
- When did she paint that?
- I swear--
- Oh my god, it's the little girl next door.
She painted the duck.
It's the little girl.
I think it was Emma because Emma showed us a duck painting
in the beginning.
Remember her duck painting?
Okay, so that duck, it was all right.
It was like a B plus.
Well, the family portrait, Emma probably did that.
She paper mached it together.
She painted it.
She's trying to manifest Anna to be her new mom
'cause she doesn't like the flight attendant lady.
So it's gotta be Emma.
Something with a duck.
(ominous piano music)
A duck was involved.
(ominous music)
- Oh my god.
- What?
- What is it?
- Oh, is that paint?
- It's paint.
- Oh, damn it.
- It's just red paint.
- Could anyone have gotten into the house
without you knowing?
(ominous music)
- The gardener?
But why?
- He killed his entire family with a claw hammer.
- I just feel like that's something you would maybe bring up
to your partner before hiring someone like,
oh, by the way, they murdered their whole family.
But why would Buell wanna fuck it up?
He has a free place to live.
Why would he ruin it all by murdering a bunch of people?
(rain splashing)
- Who killed him?
But if you're not the killer, then who?
Neil.
- [Emma] Daddy, no.
- Don't hurt her.
(ominous music)
- It's the daughter.
I knew it.
(pencil thudding)
Thank you.
- People always underestimate children.
- They really do.
- They underestimate what they're capable of.
- Yeah.
- I even surprised myself.
I mean, I didn't know I was capable of murder.
- Me neither.
Good for her. - Oh my god.
- Taking matters into her own hands.
Taking initiative.
Stepping up to the plate.
Getting shit done the way she wants it.
That's a girl boss right there.
- You're a monster.
- Yay, I'm honestly glad it was the daughter.
I believe that children are great murders
in a movie because they're imaginative.
They're creative.
They are free spirits.
And anything goes.
The world is at their fingertips.
They could do whatever they want and they chose murder.
Like that's unique, that's different.
Okay, and this is my finished look.
I did a green, smoky, glittery look.
I feel a little witchy.
I feel a little cute.
I'm not sure.
Let me know what you think down below.
Be sure to check out my YouTube channel.
I do "Murder, Mystery and Makeup" on Mondays
where I talk about true crime
and I do my makeup at the same time.
And also don't forget to subscribe
to still watching Netflix,
so you never miss an episode of "Case Closed,"
'cause I'll be doing more, 'cause I'm so good at this.
Woo, thank you guys so much for hanging out with me today,
and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day.
You make good choices.
And don't forget to keep an eye out on your children.
They might be behind you with a knife.
(Bailey squeaking)
(mysterious music)