- They should all close their eyes
and just grab Ham's boobs.
Hi, I'm Movie Mama.
Today I'll be watching The Sandlot.
What do I know about it?
There's baseball and there's a big scary dog
so I brought Ravioli, my very own
big scary dog.
Say hi Ravi!
- "[Scotty] I was from another state"
"and I didn't have a single friend".
- Aw, like me when I first moved here.
I had no friends.
Is that Denis Leary?
He's hot.
What were girls doing while they played baseball?
Probably just braiding their pubic hairs.
That's how people dress now
they're like super hipsters.
Aw, poor guy!
The Erector?
What the hell is an erector?
- "Have you made any friends yet?"
- Well no I threw a really shitty ball today.
- "Run around scrape your knees, get dirty."
- Smoke crack honey.
I have no idea if this goes around my hand
or my head.
It's like a big hand really.
So it's like cheating.
Disaster.
I have the feeling this is gonna involve
a ball going into where the
rhinoceros animal is in the back.
Oh he's running it all the way back, no.
- "You stick the chocolate on the graham."
- Oh! Cooking with Ham.
Oooooo.
Trippy flashback.
Kinda a sad story.
- "Forever."
Forever.
Oh, so thirsty.
Now here are the women.
She's older though.
Who does she end up with?
Probably Benny, right?
How are these kids?
Like 10?
Do you have your puberty at 10?
- "So what are we going to do?"
- Go swimming.
I guessed it!
That pool was full of piss and jizz
and maybe a random floating turd.
That guy's especially cumming for her.
Oh, he's going to drown for her.
(laughs)
This is public humiliation.
I don't like this.
They should all close their eyes
and just grab Ham's boobs.
I'm into baseball.
Fellas, I'm quitting my job
and I'm gonna try out for the big leagues.
(Music Plays)
(Upbeat Music)
- "What'd you say crap face?"
- Crap face!
(laughs loudly)
Crap face is the best insult I've ever heard.
- "You play ball like a girl!"
- Oh wow.
ewwww
I'm uncomfortable.
Oh, they're gonna puke.
Ewwww. Ewwww. Ewwww. Ewww.
(laughs loudly)
- [Narrator] "The day I got us in the biggest
pickle of all time." (laughs)
- This is making me want pickles.
- "We need 98 cents. We gotta buy us a ball."
- Oh, they're gonna fake it.
Aw, that so brilliant!
Go online and look at what the signature looks like.
What do you think they should do with the ball?
(high pitched squealing)
Ah!
(panting)
No more tries guys.
Just knock on the fucking door.
This is the worst of all of the tries.
(growling)
No!!!!
Ah!!!!
- "Then just hop on over there and get it."
- I've been saying it all along.
You didn't need Babe Ruth to come back from the dead.
He's the cutest pup ever.
Oh cool!
Um, this ball smells good.
Smelling this ball gets me high and makes me calm down.
No! No! No!
This is a horror movie!
(sigh)
What a rollercoaster.
(calm music)
I love him so much.
I'm feeling emotional.
- "So is this one, with the rest of the 1927 Yankees."
- [Narrator] "Hercules lived to be 1999 years old."
(crying loudly)
(cheerful music)
You're killing me smalls.
It made me so nostalgic.
It makes me sad about dogs getting hurt
and about friendship
and about getting older.
Okay, thanks for watching with me and with Ravi.
We're gonna go cry now.
(laughs)