Too many people think being likeable comes from being incredibly good looking,
extremely social or amazingly talented. But that’s not true, being likeable is
completely under your control, it’s a matter of emotional intelligence.
So here are 13 of the key behaviors
that emotionally intelligent people do that make them so likeable.
Don’t make the mistake of focusing on what you’re going to say next
instead of listening to what the other person is saying. Ask
questions. Even a question to clarify something shows you’re listening, and that you care about
what they’re saying. You’ll gain respect and appreciation just by asking questions.
Checking a text message mid-conversation or even quickly glancing at your phone is disrespectful
and a turn-off. When you commit to a conversation, focus all of your energy on the conversation.
You’ll find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them.
Being genuine and honest is essential to being likeable.
No one likes a fake. You’ll become a magnet when people know they can trust you.
Be confident and comfortable in your own skin and you’ll be a more interesting person than if
you try to win people over by behaving in a way you think will make other people like you more.
If you want to be likeable you have to be open-minded, it makes you approachable.
No one wants to have a conversation with someone who’s already formed an opinion
and isn’t willing to listen. You don’t have to believe what they believe or excuse
their behavior, just withhold judgment long enough to truly understand them.
Being desperate for attention is not great. Simply being friendly and considerate is
all you need to win people over – you don’t have to show off. And when you’re
being given attention for something great you’ve done, shift the focus to the people
who helped you get there. Being appreciative and humble are closely tied to likeability.
Being all over the place can you make you really unlikeable. People like to know who they’re
dealing with and what sort of response they can expect. To be consistent you have to be reliable,
and make sure that even when your mood goes up and down it doesn’t change how you treat other people.
Be conscious of your gestures, expressions, and tone of voice. Make certain they’re
positive and you’ll draw people to you like ants to a picnic. Use an enthusiastic tone,
uncross your arms, maintain eye contact, and lean towards the person who’s speaking. These
are all forms of positive body language that high-EQ people use to draw others in.
Most people decide whether or not they like you within the first seven seconds of meeting you,
and then spend the rest of the conversation internally justifying that initial reaction.
First impressions are closely related to positive body language again, so make sure you have strong
posture, a firm handshake, smile, and open your shoulders to the person you are talking to.
Likeable people use other peoples’ names all the time.
And don’t only use someone’s name when you say hello. Research shows people feel
validated when you refer to them by name during a conversation. And when you meet someone,
don’t be afraid to ask their name a second time if you forget it right after hearing it.
People naturally and unconsciously mirror the body language of the person they’re talking to.
If you want people to like you, smile at them during a conversation
and they will unconsciously return the favor and feel good as a result.
Be careful to avoid sharing personal problems and confessions too quickly.
It’ll get you labeled as a complainer. Likeable people
let the other person guide when it’s the right time for them to open up.
A simple touch on the shoulder, a hug, or a friendly handshake is all it takes to release
oxytocin in another person’s brain and make them feel good. Use your head on this one,
because unwanted or inappropriate touching obviously has the opposite effect.
Passionate people draw others in, but it’s also easy for passionate people to come across as too
serious or uninterested because they’re absorbed in their passion
project. Likeable people balance their passion with the ability to have fun.
Minimize small talk and gossip and instead focus on having meaningful conversations.
Likeable people are invaluable and unique. They make new friends easily, promote harmony
in their social groups, bring out the best in everyone around them, and generally seem
to have the most fun. Add these skills to your repertoire and watch your likeability skyrocket!