- We've been together for eight years and I've never
helped him bake once, ever.
- Is that true? - It's scary.
(upbeat music)
- Don't ask questions, just keep going.
- I want to know what I'm making!
- So I'm basically in a cage and I can't see anything.
And where are you, Patrick?
- I'm here in the kitchen!
- And then I'm going to be telling Patrick how to
make these cookies.
So this is my recipe and it's pretty easy to make, for me.
And for Patrick it's gonna be pretty difficult, I think.
- Oh my God. - First thing you have to do
is pre-heat the oven to 350!
- Does that mean where it says bake?
- Yes, just press three, five, zero, enter.
- Okay, oh good, yeah.
- So now what we're gonna do is we're gonna do our
dry ingredients first.
- Oh my God, okay.
- So measure 3/4 of a cup of the flour.
Now when you open it, be careful 'cause it's gonna
make a lot of mess 'cause it's a new bag,
so open it very carefully.
- Okay. - What are you doing?
- Nothing. - Open the baking soda.
- Okay. - There's like four spoons.
Get the one that says a half, one slash two.
- Half a teaspoon. - Get the baking powder
and you're gonna measure 1/4 of a teaspoon.
- Okay. - You're gonna do 1/4 of a
teaspoon of salt. - That's so weird.
Okay. - Mix the dry ingredients
together. - Like with my hands?
- No, with your hands, that's disgusting!
Just with a spoon, just turn it--
- With a whisk? - Yeah.
- Is that what you said? - You know what--
- I know what a whisk is. - Yeah mix it.
So now put that on the side.
Do you see the butter? - Yeah.
So half a cup of butter, that whole stick.
- I feel like Paula Deen.
- Now you see the peanut butter?
- Uh, yes. - Okay so we need a half
a cup of that that you're gonna mix with the butter.
- So disgusting.
- I don't know what you're doing,
but it doesn't sound right.
You see the brown sugar and the white sugar?
- Yeah. - Yeah, use a half a cup.
- Of what? - The sugar.
- The white sugar? - Yes, the white sugar.
- Okay then where does that go?
- It goes into the bowl with the butter
and the peanut butter.
Okay, now you're gonna do that light brown sugar,
you're gonna put a half a cup of that.
- Just trying to clean as I go.
- See the little, the bottle, the like beautiful,
looks like a woman's body, the vanilla?
- Yes. - You can add 1 teaspoon
of that and now you're gonna mix the ingredients.
- Does it need liquid in there or something?
- Don't ask questions, just keep going.
- Get whatever you have in front of you that's clean
and put of the cup of the oats.
- Where do I put them?
- The floor, where do you think you're gonna put them?
You really put it on the floor?
- I'm just following your directions.
- Were you gonna roll the dough on the floor?
Why would you put it on the floor?
- You told me to put it on the floor.
Okay, one cup, in the bowl you said?
- Yes, in the bowl.
With the orange spatula, mix it.
I'm not cleaning this kitchen after, that's all I know.
- This is exhausting.
- Fill up that teaspoon drop it onto the baking.
You're gonna do like three lines of four.
- So now what?
- Did you make 12 cookies already?
- I don't know, I think so!
- Get the fork, just press on top of the cookie dough.
- So put it in the oven?
- While that's baking for 10 minutes and the timer's on,
you're gonna make the filling.
So let's try to-- - They have filling?
So three tablespoons of butter.
- Then you're gonna do one cup of powdered sugar.
You're gonna get half a cup of that peanut butter.
- Oh God. - Okay, so the last ingredient
hallelujah, is the heavy cream.
- I kind of think it's good.
Oh, that is hot. - Yeah, be careful.
- Am I making like an Oreo or something?
- Yeah, i'ts like an Oreo. - Like smash it?
- Yep.
- Oh my God, that looks really good!
It's cookie time.
Three, two, one. (screams)
- They look beautiful.
I am gonna be supportive, give me a sec.
This frosting is good.
- They're kind of hard.
- Yeah, the cookie is really hard.
- I think he was a little mean, he was a little unclear,
he would tell me to throw things on the floor
when he didn't want me to really throw it on the floor.
But in spite of all that, I think I followed directions well
and I think that this was a success.
If I did it again, I would like to do it one more time
and I would, maybe not leave them in the oven as long.
- There's not gonna be another time.
There won't be a part two, thank you all for coming here,
I'm gonna ask you to leave 'cause we're never gonna
do this again. - It's not that dirty though.
Look. - Mhmm, yeah it's okay.
It's okay.