hi there I'm Drew Badger the world's
first and number one English Fluency
Guide and in this video I'm going to
answer a question from my yet and that
is really it's actually not so much a
question so much as just just a
frustration and that is I can't speak
with people because I'm really too
nervous about making mistakes and if you
have this problem well we're going to
solve it right now for you in this video
so get excited about that but this is a
tricky problem that is not even
something that's exclusive to language
learners this is you know public
speaking speaking in front of other
people even making a video like this
where I'm standing in front of you and
you know even though we're not
physically in the same place but a lot
of people are nervous about that if you
go back and watch the videos I make
mistakes and I you know say things that
maybe like I could even be incorrect
like sometimes I feel bad if I say
something I try to go back and correct
something but if I make a mistake in a
video because hey I'm human and you know
even a teacher even an English fluency
guy that can go out and try his best to
make sure everything is understandable
like you know it could always be better
so I have that same level of
perfectionism but here's how I deal with
that as well so I also have like people
that worried about being perfect or
worrying about how they can express
themselves but they don't want to make
any mistakes so here's how this work
this is called like a chicken and the
egg problem so you have to speak if you
want to eliminate mistakes because
that's the only way to practice but if
you speak then you make mistakes oh is
that that period between learning and
getting fluent where you're making
mistakes that makes it a really
difficult thing and so people are stuck
they have this problem if I want to
speak and I know I should speak but I
like I'm just really so nervous about
making mistakes so let's kind of forget
about the language for a moment and just
think about communication in general
with someone else and so this is how I
was thinking about it when i was getting
fluent in japanese and just trying to
get like in english we just say to get
over that hump so when you're learning
something it's really difficult at the
beginning because I it's hard to do and
like it gets difficult but as soon as
you start
really understanding it everything else
just really gets easy so it's getting
over that hump at the beginning that
makes it trickier makes it harder to
understand and just really makes things
frustrating so instead of thinking about
the language and the mistakes you're
thinking I like to remind myself and I
want to remind you of the value that you
give to other people and part of this
comes from even if you like even if you
think you don't have anything important
or interesting to share with somebody
when you stop yourself from getting into
a conversation that's really a chance
even again if you don't have anything
that you think is valuable just
listening to other people and letting
them speak is a really valuable thing
because most of us are kind of thinking
about ourselves all the time and it's
not like a bad thing it's just a natural
thing that we do this is just a
biological thing that people are focused
on their own lives in their own problems
and you know when other people are kind
of looking for you know other other
people to listen to them it's hard to
find people that really will just sit
and listen so being able to actually
listen to people especially listening to
people when they have problems is a
really valuable thing so when you decide
not to maybe sit down in a conversation
or begin a conversation with someone
because you're worried about the
mistakes you might make your kind of
focusing on yourself instead of taking
the opportunity to give value to someone
else and that means you excuse me are
actually valuable so you become valuable
when you can listen to other people
because again most people are kind of
thinking about themselves and want
somebody else to listen to them so if
you become the person that can listen to
other people it doesn't matter if you
make mistakes or not it's remembering
the value that you have and so if you
kind of think about it like like a graph
like the nervousness that you feel if
you can make the value that you offer
kind of stronger than that higher than
that more powerful than that then you
forget the fear that you have and you
think I okay I'm really valuable so in
the one of the guides that we offer
learners is about how to speak
confidently and we talk about the
different steps that you need to take in
order to become a
speaker but I give the example of a
person going into a burning building to
save a child now you might like be
fearful of that like fire is kind of a
scary thing but if you hear a child
screaming in a building you're going to
run in there and like the the fear that
you have is overpowered by the value
that you can give or if you see somebody
drowning in a pool like you might have
like a nice suit on or something but
you're going to forget about all of that
you're going to jump into the pool and
try to help that person and this is just
how we think because again we're doing
these kind of calculations in our mind
about what's valuable what what we can
contribute to other people and if we
think that maybe even if we're scared
about something if we if we can give
more value and receive something like
more powerful than that then that's
what's going to cause us to take action
so this original problem of you have to
speak in order to become fluent and you
have to develop that and you need to
make mistakes in order to do that so
this problem becomes solvable if you
look at it in a logical way and just
think like wow like if I get into a
conversation with someone I can really
give a lot of value and that value that
I can give that other person even if I'm
just listening so even if you don't
speak during much the first step is just
to get into a conversation to not be
nervous about that because you have
value to give even if you don't say
anything so if you get into a
conversation like okay I'm just going to
like this person looks kind of sad maybe
my speaking ability isn't so great but I
can listen to that person and understand
what they say in this link like yeah I'm
here for you I'm giving that other
person value and so beyond that
especially if you have something
valuable to teach or to share with other
people then that's even better that's
even more value you can give to someone
in a conversation so if you see someone
that has a problem like not only just
trying to be helpful in supporting that
person but you might even have the
solution to that so perfect example is
right here with these videos if you go
back and watch the the original videos
on this channel a couple of years ago
they didn't have my face because I was a
little bit nervous about that now I have
no problem at all because I've developed
the
bit of being able to do it I can speak
in front of crowds of people and that
doesn't matter to me either because I
think about the value that I'm giving to
people more than any nervousness I think
about like when I get in front of people
and think oh no like what will they
think about my making a mistake or
something or whatever they don't they're
not there for that they're there to get
some information just like you're not
here right like to like watch me make a
mistake you were here to get information
that will help you in your own life so
if you think about that for yourself for
your own conversations this is what's
going to give you the excitement and
really push you to get into the
conversations and the more you get into
conversations even if you just start
with listening to people then you'll
begin to kind of say a few extra things
maybe say one or two more phrases and
over time you will develop the habit of
being able to express yourself
confidently so if you have the problem
of getting into conversations and you're
nervous because you don't want to make a
mistake this is how you do it remember
the value that you give to other people
and that's what's going to help you get
fluent anyway remember that you're
always trying to develop habits and that
like the more you can push yourself the
more you kind of maybe even have to like
trick yourself with the way you think
just to push yourself in whatever you
can do that will help you get fluent you
should take that action and again it's
really a good thing it's a positive
thing you should be doing because you
really do have value to give to other
people even if you're not such a great
speaker yet well that's it for this
video if you have liked it do click that
like button become a subscriber to the
YouTube channel and do share this with
other people that you know maybe that
they also struggle with these same
problems of like how do i how do I think
how do i express myself because I'm
nervous if I make a mistake other people
will laugh I mean like they're thinking
about all those things but if you
remember the value like any any bad
feeling that you might get from somebody
laughing at you there's much more value
that you can give to the world and that
you can receive as well just by
listening to other people so go out and
practice and if you have more problems
with your confidence you'd like to learn
more about that you can click on the
link in this video to take our free
English fluency quiz it will tell you
exactly what you need to do the specific
steps you need to take if you want to
learn more about confidence or if you'd
like to improve your listening or
improve your pronunciation all of the
different things you can help you with
at English anyone calm so click on the
link in this video to take that free
fluency quiz and I will see you in the
next video bye bye