Fast food restaurants have been experimenting with their menus for as long as they've existed,
but not every new flavor of the month ends up being a success, as the long list of McDonald's
food flops that are no longer available shows us.
"Just put four slices of cheese on a burger."
"We can't do that.
There's no ---"
"What the f--- is this WE, man?!"
Some were delicious in theory, but failed in execution.
Others were foiled by more mysterious forces… yet we can't help but drool a little over
some of the McDonald's foods of yesteryear.
Sadly, it's unlikely that you'll ever be able to order most of these foods from McDonald's
again, no matter how tasty they sound.
The McDLT
Much like other burgers, the McDLT featured a quarter-pound beef patty, lettuce, tomato,
cheese, and other toppings.
But what made it really unique was the packaging.
"Wouldn't it be great if every lettuce and tomato burger came with an oven for the burger?"
McDonald's decided their burgers would be better if the beef could stay hot, while the
cold toppings could stay cold.
They invented a special polystyrene container that separated the two, allowing the customer
would to then assemble their own temperature-controlled burger at their convenience.
"You put the DLT together.
So it's always fresh, never soggy."
McDonald's wisely discontinued the McDLT due to the environmental impact of polystyrene,
though, and without the special container there was no way to keep the cold and hot
halves deliciously isolated.
Without the gimmick it was just another sandwich, and the burger was discontinued in 1991.
"Sometimes it's a regional thing. Wanna ask?"
"No McDonald's anywhere makes a McDLT anymore!"
McPizza
When it comes to food people love, pizza is pretty much universally at the top of the
list, so it's no surprise that, at least for a time, McDonald's decided to start selling
pizza.
"La la la McDonald's Pizza!
La la la la la, McDonald's Pizza!"
Originally added to menus in Canada, the McPizza made its way to the USA in the '80s and was
sold nationwide.
Unfortunately, because it took so long to make, and it cost more than a hamburger, McPizza
was removed from most locations by the late '90s.
Two locations in Ohio and West Virginia held out until 2017, when corporate headquarters
squashed their pepperoni dreams for good.
Now, there's only one location left to get a taste of McPizza in the USA, and that's
Epic McD in Orlando, Florida.
There's no telling how long it'll be before they're asked to remove the McPizza from their
own extensive menu, so if you're intrigued, you should start planning your Orlando road
trip now.
Arch Deluxe
"Okay everyone, this is our great new taste at McDonald's.
And we need a name for it."
The Arch Deluxe, introduced in 1996, has the dubious honor of being one of McDonald's most
spectacular failures.
At the time, McDonald's was having a hard time not being associated with kids, with
their abundance of PlayPlaces and the restaurant's cartoonish mascots.
Hoping to lure back paying adults, McDonald's launched the Arch Deluxe to great fanfare,
calling it, well..
"The burger with the grown up taste."
Made with made with fresh beef, cheese, onion, lettuce, tomato, peppered bacon, a potato-flour
bun, and topped with "Arch Sauce", the chain aggressively marketed it as being a burger
for sophisticated types, spending an estimated $150-200 million on advertising.
But people just don't go to McDonald's for a fancy meal.
Except this guy.
"No.
You're not seeing things.
This guy is taking his date to McDonald's in a limo."
The burger flopped and was soon discontinued.
If you were one of the few who did appreciate the elegant splendor of the Arch Deluxe, you
may be in luck.
As of January 2018, McDonald's restaurants in Oklahoma and Texas were testing the Archburger;
basically a revamp of the Arch Deluxe.
"Two words.
Arch deluxe."
The dream lives on.
Fish McBites
McDonald's has been selling seafood since the early 1960s, when the Filet-O-Fish sandwich
started being sold nationwide.
Marketed towards practicing Catholics, who traditionally don't eat meat on Fridays during
Lent, sales of the FIlet-O-Fish still skyrocket between Ash Wednesday and Easter.
"Gimme that there Filet-o-Fish, give me that fish!
Gimme that there Filet-o-Fish, give me that fish!"
With one successful fish dish on the menu, McDonald's branched out, and Fish McBites
were added to menus nationwide in 2013.
Made with sustainable Alaskan Pollock and served with tartar sauce for dipping, the
fish nuggets got rave reviews.
Unfortunately, sales just weren't stellar enough to promote Fish McBites from a limited
time to permanent menu item.
"Unlike us, they're not gonna hang out for for long."
These days, those of us looking to satisfy our seafood nugget cravings will have to just
beat up a Filet-O-Fish.
Cheddar Melt
"McDonald's Cheddar Melt!"
Part patty melt, part classic burger, McDonald's Cheddar Melt was a beloved limited time offering
at the chain in the late 1980s, a decade when the restaurant was rapidly changing their
menu.
The Cheddar Melt included a grilled beef patty with a teriyaki glaze, caramelized onions
and cheddar cheese sauce, placed on a rye bun.
Don't confuse this with the Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger, which was just a burger with
cheddar cheese and onions on a regular bun, with no cheese sauce, rye, or teriyaki in
sight.
The Cheddar Melt was removed from the menu in the early '90s, but in the early 2000s
it made a brief resurgence, and in 2014, McDonalds' in Wisconsin started selling it again for
a limited time.
These days, if you want cheese sauce on your McDonald's burger, you'll have to swing through
the Taco Bell drive-through to get a side of queso.
Mighty Wings
McDonald's serves Chicken McNuggets and multiple varieties of chicken sandwiches, so why not
chicken wings?
In fact, you could find wings on the menu for a limited time in the early 2000s, and
they were tested regionally in early 2013 in Atlanta and Chicago.
Mighty Wings were added to menus nationwide later that year.
They got good reviews, so why weren't they a success?
"It's good.
Not bad.
Now… where's my money?"
For one, they were expensive, with 10 wings costing just under $10.
Considering you can get two cheeseburgers at the chain for less than half that, the
value just wasn't there.
People also complained that they were too spicy, and that they looked too much like
chicken nuggets.
These days if you want chicken at McDonald's, you'll have to settle for something else.
Well, at least one person is probably pretty happy about this!