- How do you handle an alpha male husband?
- Exactly like how you handle the dogs.
- A dog?
I'm a freaking dog?
That's horrible.
(playful music)
(both laughing)
- You said men are dogs.
- No, what I'm trying to say is, actually,
men are very easy, they are very simple, they are very easy.
- I actually agree.
(both laughing)
I actually agree. (laughs)
- When they do something wrong, just punish them,
when they do something right, just give a little treat,
that's it.
- You gotta expand on that
because I want to learn this. (Jennie laughing)
- I'm not telling you my secret.
- Tell it to them.
(Jennie laughing)
- I'm just eavesdropping.
- Yeah, actually, men, they are very easy, straightforward.
A lot of times, women expect a
how come my husband's not romantic?
He's not planning a lot of things for me, not doing this,
not doing that, it's because they've never thought about it,
it's that simple, it doesn't mean they don't love you,
it doesn't mean that.
It's just you have to communicate,
you have to tell them this is your expectation.
Sometimes, we've friends coming over, the dogs are barking,
you have to train your dogs, stop barking, right?
- Mm-hmm. - It's that simple.
Don't expect them to think like a woman, the thing is,
women can do two things at one time,
they can talking
while they're watching. - Mm-hmm.
- Let's say, you see a lot of times
women are reading a magazine,
and talking on the phone with their friends,
but men can never do that. - Yeah, and doing their nails
at the same time.
- Yeah, but men can never do that,
they have to only do one thing at one time.
That means they are not thinking
about a lot of things, so, same as you,
as the other partner,
when your husband or wife is super busy,
you have to tell them, okay, can we do lunch?
It's so funny, sometimes, when we go out to dinner,
let's say on Valentine's Day,
he never thought about planning a romantic dinner
or anything like that.
Most of the time, the other partner will think you're
not romantic. - You don't love me no more.
- Yeah, you don't think about me.
- You weren't like this before, right what changed?
And then are you like not loving me?
Or you love the kids more,
or all this (mumbles) - You love the dog more.
- You love the dog more, who knows, right?
- It's actually very simple,
just write down on their calender, and says,
"I wanna go to have dinner on valentines day."
But then of course I wouldn't book the table
or everything, I will tell him I wanna go out on a date,
you figure out the location, surprise me.
And then he will do all of that.
It's not like-- - You gotta tell the alpha man
'cause they are busy, again.
So, let's say she wants to watch a movie,
instead of last minute, "Oh, I want to watch a movie."
I don't have time, I've got, like, a meeting,
I've got other commitments, then they are,
"Oh, how can be you don't make time for me anymore."
Then it turns to a whole argument.
No, she has access to my calender from iPhone.
She just book all the time. - Just take the meeting off.
- Jennie wants to go see movie, that's it.
Okay, I look at that, I just follow the agenda,
it's very simple, right?
They're entrepreneurs.
So, it's like, if she wants to go on vacation.
Right now we're planning for even this year,
like six months, a year in advance
that we not block all the time
to go on vacations, otherwise it's not gonna happen.
There's always something else to do as an entrepreneur,
there's always another project,
there's always another deal, it never ends.
- So don't think of something,
if you want something really bad,
you gotta work towards it, not just, waiting.
- And don't just be a more like,
complaining about it. - No.
No. - Your victim kind
of mentality. - No.
- No, you just go get it,
right? - Yeah.
- And communicate, again, I think it's communication.
It all goes back
to communication. - Don't think,
oh, we been together for so long,
he should understand, or she should understand.
How come you don't know this by now.
Well, they don't.
They really don't. - They don't, they don't,
and they'll never do,
and it's not getting frustrated, forget about that.
But think also now,
before we parted first two, three years,
we would argue quite often.
We have conflict probably once a week or whatever,
like fighting stuff, right?
But now, now we're together 10 years,
the last four, five years,
probably we were arguing once, I don't know,
once. - Yeah, we'll probably
not fight, argue, maybe once a year,
and then it will last 30 minutes.
- 30 minutes and that's it,
well, it's no argument,
it's no fight. - No, no.
- And I think it's also
because we' learned each other's--
- Bottom line. - Not bottom line,
the boundaries, the hot buttons.
- Oh, yeah, the hot buttons.
- Yeah, I won't go push her hot button,
and she doesn't go
push my button. - Don't ever do that
when you're fighting,
don't ever do that. - Yeah, when you're fighting.
There's certain things you don't say.
- No. - Where that you attack
your spouse, you attack your partner,
that's not healthy.
It's that we know there's that line,
I won't cross that line,
and she won't cross that line, and then we're fine.
We're fine, right,
she knows there're certain things she won't say,
she will never say to me.
There are certain things I will never say to her
because I know that's hurtful for her.
- Yes. - Right?
Unless we're teasing each other,
then sometimes a little bit,
then I'll, I'm connecting, right?
As you do that. - I'm mad, don't do that.
- Yeah, thank you.
- Don't do that. - Yeah, yeah.
That's okay, right?
- And also, ladies, remember you are smarter,
you are way smarter than the guys.
So sometimes when you wanna get
to things work out in your way,
think another way to do it,
instead of doing straightforward way or--
- Go around it. - Yeah, go around it.
You're smarter, try different ways to make you.
Let's say you want the man to do the dishes
or pick you up from work--
- Yeah, instead of, "Hey, why don't you do the dishes?"
right, "Help me do the dishes."
I actually don't do dishes, but anyway.
- But how about try, baby, it's so cold outside,
you don't want me to drive by myself, don't you, please.
Or just try different ways--
- Like the softer way. - Yeah, different ways work
with different kind of people, right?
- Yeah, the soft one. - I know what I say is,
maybe it's a manipulation, but we're smart.
We know how to do it, right?
- Yeah, yeah, and for men,
even though I know it's a manipulation, it's okay.
It feels a little bit nicer.
It's like, I know it's freaking cold,
I know I gotta drive,
I kinda bitching a little bit about it,
but you know what, I love her, she's my wife,
and it's okay, I'll still do it.
It makes us feel a little bit better doing those things.
Nobody likes to take out the garbage,
right? (Jennie laughing)
Nobody likes to do those kinds of things,
but, okay, I'll do it for the family, right?
So it's that kind of thing.
- But also remember whenever they do something right,
give them a little treat, give them a kiss
or say thank you, they'll appreciate it.
- Yeah, they do, they do,
this why it matters, very, very simple.
- Very simple.
- Give them a good sex, everything's good.
Everything's easy. (Jennie laughing)
Right, you know, it's easy,
it's truly, man, it's pretty simple, man,
fake arguments, make-up sex, you're good.
- Exactly, they're very simple.
- Right, it's just what I'm talking about,
it's not complicated. - No.
- Men at home, they want to feel, I think, respected,
at home they want to feel respected,
and outside when they are building the business,
when they're building their thing,
building the empire, they need to know
that the home is taken care of.
In Chinese there is a great saying.
(speaks in foreign language)
It means this, manage yourself,
manage your family, build your empire, conquer the world.
In that four steps, you can't--
- And remember the steps,
you cannot go, yeah. - Yeah, you cannot
conquer the world, if you first cannot self-manage.
Master yourself, your emotions, yourself.
Once you can manage yourself,
then you can manage your household, your family.
When you can manage your household, your family,
then you can go and build your empire.
After you built your empire,
then you can conquer the world.
That's from thousands and thousands of years Chinese wisdom.
I guess, Chinese is pretty smart after all,
I guess, right? - I'm smarter, so.
- Yes, so that's it. (Jennie laughing)
That's this episode of Alpha Man and Smart Woman.
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