All right, next question. Hey Tripp, if you read this question, you can just read it as anonymous.
I'm 32, a slightly above average looking guy, have plenty of friends, and I'm an overall very
likeable and down to earth dude. I've recently started approaching women, it's going horribly,
they either blow me off or immediately say that they have a boyfriend. I've only had two serious
relationships in my life and looking back on it, it's because they came on to me. I have a very
specific type of girl I'm interested in. You don't have to read this part. But it's light skinned
black girls with a pretty face. Well, I guess I did read it. He says it's the only type of girl
I go after, which really limits my options. And then obviously, the personality has to be a match
too. It's starting to feel impossible. Now I know you're two stock answers here are probably
one, the unicorn bit and two, the scarcity mindset. It wouldn't be a scarcity mindset,
but maybe the unicorn bit. He continues: but if this is truly what I want, what should I do?
I feel like it's settling if I go for girls, I'm not attracted to at all.
Trust me, I've tried. I've ended up turning down girls in the past because they weren't my type.
I want to stay patient, but it is so hard and the loneliness is hitting hard. Could you just
ponder this with everyone without using those two answers mentioned above? I like how you sometimes
just talk through a question and arrive at an answer while talking through it. Thanks, Tripp.
Yeah, I mean, that's what I always do. Nothing is canned here. I mean, I have a set of principles
and techniques and things that generally work that of course, I'll repeat because those are the
answers. But I'll do my best here. Let's just talk about the reality for a second. The reality is,
you're going for a specific look. It's a specific look and you want the personality to match.
I'm not going to tell you what to like or not to like, but I'm gonna give you the reality
of the situation. You have a small pool. I guess this is me giving one of my stock
answers. I think it's the unicorn bit. But it has to be said, you just have to understand.
And I know I'm not telling you anything, or maybe anyone listening, that they don't know.
But it's very crucial to the answer here. You're going for a small pool of women
and I wonder if there's maybe even a few more things that you're looking for
that are narrowing the pool even smaller. You're looking for a very specific type. I wonder if
you're also looking for a specific height, a specific age. Now, be honest with yourself, how
narrow is your pool? With that being said, if your pool is that narrow...
and I mean, you're basically asking me to solve a problem that I don't think really has
an answer. I mean, what should you do? You told me that you don't want to settle for anyone else.
I don't know what to tell you. I mean, your pool is small. I have a few ideas.
Hopefully you live in a big city. If you live in a small city, then you're really screwing yourself.
Hopefully you're living in New York, Chicago, Miami,
LA, maybe Dallas... just thinking of any city in the US. Or maybe you don't live in the US,
anywhere that has a big population. That's gonna help you, more volume. Even with something that
has a big pool, even with your limitations, it still can give you and yield more results.
The only thing I can tell you is to open up your pool. I mean, I'm sorry
that you're lonely. It sounds like you've tried. But what else can you do?
I'm not sure what you want me to exactly say here. Unless it's some sort of motivational
answer like you can do it buddy, which I think you can, it's just going to take more time.
And I never want anyone to settle. But if you're a guy coming to me saying this is the kind of girl
I want, she's very specific, and this is the only one I want, and I'm not happy unless I get it...
well, this is the reality. It might take you a while.
I think my other thing I would say to you is you've got to loosen up on on every other area.
So if you're so specific to, and I'm sorry but after he said you don't have to read this part,
but it's specific here. If you're just trying to get the light skinned black
girls with a pretty face, you better be okay with one of those being 6'3 or 4'10.
You better be okay with them maybe not being super skinny. You gotta be okay with them,
not that necessarily you might care, but some guys do, that they're college educated, or you
can't... it's like, if you start caring about more things, the pool narrows even smaller. If you want
that one really specific thing – light skinned black girl with a pretty face, you better be
opening up every other aspect of them if you want a possibility to be with that woman.
Now the other answer to this, which we'll arrive at, is your game better be on point,
your conversation skills. I think one thing that I'm hearing you say here
is that you're going out and you're approaching women, it's going horribly.
You're telling me that it's not even just the pool of women, it's also the way that you're trying
to convert. Meaning, there's all these leads out there, there's all these women out there,
but now you got to convert them into a date. My advice to you is, don't just approach the women
that you're interested in. Don't go outside your door and go, I'm gonna look for the light
skinned black girls that I'm attracted to. You should be approaching everybody.
Even if you don't want to get their number, because you need volume there too.
And it sounds like you're only going after that specific set. That means that your
volume is really low, it's going to be limiting your expertise and experience. Because you're
not having any of these reference experiences by being able to go up and approach a lot of women.
My advice, go out there, talk to everyone. Practice flirting, practice approaching
because you're gonna get a lot of women who are gonna blow you off no matter what.
You're gonna be going out there and women will blow you off, they will reject you. That's part
of the numbers game, not every woman's going to respond to you. If you go out the door for
an hour to practice approaches and there's only two women that you are attracted to
and they both blow you off right away, which is very normal, you got no practice in that day.
For the times when you finally have that moment where you can get a woman to stop and talk to you
who is the woman who has the physical type that you're looking for...
well, then at that point, you'll know what to do where you'll have a little bit more
of experience to be able to get her interested and build attraction.
That would be my answer there. To sum it up, you need to open your pool up more
and not be as picky so you can get at least the very important thing that you're looking for.
And two, at least open the pool up to more women so you can practice approaching more.
And here's one more thing. And I know you're probably not gonna listen to this, but I'll say
it to you anyways, and other people are listening too so they'll get a little bit of advice from it.
Try, just try... and I know this isn't easy... but try to see if there's any other kind of women
that you might be interested in so you can open up your pool even more. Be open minded a little bit.
There has to be other kinds of women that you might be interested in because you're looking
for a very specific type of girl. Just do your best. Open it up as much as you can.