-I was running a bit behind today, so I thought
if you guys wouldn't mind, I'd like to write out
my weekly thank-you notes right now. Is that okay with you guys?
[ Cheers and applause ]
The best.
♪ The best a man can get ♪
James, can I get some thank-you- note-writing music, please?
Oh, he's just amazing. Look at that.
The purple Prince is what they call him.
-Really? -The purple Prince.
-Purple Prince. -That's what they call him.
[ Laughter ]
Thank you, Lent,
or as you're also known, New Year's Resolution: The Sequel.
[ Applause ]
"I'll try it again.
I'll try it again. And this time,
I'm really gonna give it up."
♪♪
Thank you, "Bachelor" fantasy suite invites,
for being a fancy TV version of texting, "You up?"
[ Laughter and applause ]
♪♪
Thank you, the CDC, for saying that surgical masks
are pointless for people with big beards.
[ Laughter ]
Or as ZZ Top put it, "Oh, we dead."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Thank you, new movie "The Invisible Man,"
for starring Elisabeth Moss.
And since you can't see him
so there's no way to prove this isn't the case,
for also starring me, Jimmy Fallon.
-Wow. Wow. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Number-one movie of the week.
-Congratulations.
-Thank you. You saw me at the premiere?
-Yeah, it was fantastic.
Your invisible costume was beautiful.
-Thank you so much.
Thank you, South Carolina state flag, for looking like
a tiny square cut out of some guy's Tommy Bahama shirt.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
I wrote that. -Yeah.
-I wrote that one.
I love Tommy Bahama. -Come on, you love it.
-I'm a Bahama mama, dude.
♪♪
Thank you, when the doctor tells me to say "ah,"
for making me feel like I'm auditioning for a doo-wop group.
-[ Harmonizing ] -[ Harmonizing ]
-Cough. -Cough.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Thank you, Super Tuesday, for being the third-best Tuesday
after Fat and Taco.
There you have it. Those are my thank-you notes.