- They say you shouldn't be intoxicated
around your children?
Well, I'm not.
I'm high
Call it elevated, it's different thing.
(Upbeat music)
- What has happened unfortunately is that
since Y2K, I've just been melting.
(audience laughing)
I've been melting my brain by part
I know like a brain is supposed to be like (indistinct)
like that, like have like mass and volume.
My brain is more like a crepe
that has been rolled by someone who isn't French
and is not committed to the cuisine.
And then,
(laughing)
and then inside of the crepe is just the one
like naked wiggling worm.
That's like getting really tired
and like, doesn't know how it ended
up there and like that bad sleeping bag.
And it's just like, awww mother
and then I imagined my brain
like the bathhouse and spirited away, like, (laughing)
like it's
like a thought comes in or like something to discuss it.
It's like a token that pops down in front of the worms face
and the worms, like, (indistinct)
and then in life I'm like
Jackson Pollock put jazz on his painting.
Jackson, Pollock, starring ed Harris, but Jess and painting
then someone's like, get out of the hooking hide
and I'm like, hooking hide, I thought this was the aquarium
you guys sucked yourself by calling them your museum.
That museum is fun.
Cause you're like, Ooh.
- I think the most high I've ever been in public
is a tie for first place.
Okay. There's the, the first time I did MDMA Molly
and the other time was when I went
and saw the Tupac hologram at Coachella.
So the first time I did Molly, it was like 10 years ago.
I went to this comedy festival
and I bought a bunch of those little Molly pills.
And I went to see a comedy show
and I was with my buddy Carl.
I gave him a pill, I took a pill
and we felt like a million dollars right?
Serotonin machine gun going off in my brain.
And I felt so good that it turned to my friend.
And I go, dude, if we eat like four or five more
of these little guys
we'll feel four or five times as good.
My man, that's basic math bro bro.
So we fucking wolf down a bunch more.
What a fucking mistake.
Because then my eyeballs started working independently
like a chameleon, ah
like David Attenborough from planet earth started narrating
my thoughts like
this asshole has taken more drugs than he can handle.
And that was heart will do a Slipknot drum solo.
My eyes were doing like Diploe air horn sound.
So I fucking panic.
I ran outside my heart's beating out of my chest, right?
And I'm like, I'm gonna have to go to the fucking hospital.
I'm having a meltdown.
And I go, no, I got it.
I'll make myself throw up or we call it
pulling the trigger.
You know what I mean?
Earliest that's what we called it in ballet class.
I don't know what you guys call it.
So I run outside and I'm slammed my finger
in the back of my throat.
The problem was I had so much MDMA
coursing through my veins.
It wasn't making me throw up.
It just felt like I was hitting a hidden G-spot
in the back of my throat.
And my uvula was like a giant clitoris
so I was just like
(kecking)
And I've never come harder in my entire life.
First and only time I have ever achieved orgasm.
(cheering)
thank you.
Okay, and then the Tupac hologram.
All right, so check this out.
So I go to Coachella, it's weakened too.
I'm fucking hyped to see this Tupac hologram.
And it's so whack, but I'm like caught up.
I'm like, Oh yeah, I can't wait to see this
like grand theft auto four era CGI Tupac.
So I was drinking all day in a big field.
It's late at night.
Thousands of people, we're all watching Snoop Dog
and dr. Dre on stage, right?
And my friend Brian hands me like a big Xanax bar right?
Like a big like a George Clinton horse pill, right?
But Xanax, it's not a good party drug.
It makes you black in and out of consciousness.
You lose your memories.
But I wasn't thinking, so I wove it down
and I tell my friend, Brian, I was like, okay, hold up.
I'm gonna make a PP.
I go to the port-a-potties.
I come back, my brain must have hit a Xanax black hole
because my friend Brian was like,
dude where the fuck have you been?
And I go, what are you talking about?
He's like, bro, you've been gone for like 45 minutes.
The Tupac hologram came and went.
You missed the entire thing.
And I've never been more mad and high at the same time.
And I just turned around and I started ripping grass
out of the ground and going, noooooooooo,
whyyyyyyy?
And it was during the most mellow Snoop Dog song
of his entire set.
So Snoop Dog's on stage like S and P snooper loops
no poop, poop and scoop nobody, everybody dope.
And one by one as sea of a thousand
people just look back at me going
burry me alive
(indistinct)
Then I just overhear this dude, rolling a blunt behind me.
Look back and go
well, I guess everybody enjoys Snoop dog differently.
- Next thing I know Snoop reaches under the desk
and he pulls out the biggest blunt I have ever seen.
Oh this sucker was huge.
As soon as he pulled out that freaking blunt
I got excited because I wanted to grab my cell phone.
Okay.
I wanted to grab my cell phone so that I could take a selfie
of Snoop in the background being Snoop.
So while I'm fumbling trying to get my phone
Snoop starts talking to me again.
Yo big fluff,
hit dat while I hit this.
(audience laughing)
The second I went like that,
all of the cameras in the room,
red light, red light, red light, red light, red light.
My publicist is like, noooooooo
my son is like, yeeeeaaaah
and now I'm being phased, bro.
I'm being faced with a serious situation because you know
I've talked about friends participating in doing stuff
like this, but I've never openly talked about myself.
You know?
And now I realize that from this moment forward
people are gonna know what happened here was Snoop.
So I started trying to find ways to justify it to myself.
You know,
if you gonna do something like this on camera
You want it to be with Snoop
You want it to be with Snoop,
Cheech and Chong
or Willie Nelson.
(audience cheering)
Next thing I know the manager, hands me a lighter.
I light it and I take a big hit.
So listen, I'm doing my best to hold in all this smoke
because I don't wanna look like a punk
in front of Snoop dog.
I'm trying, I'm fighting bro.
It's hard.
The whole time Snoop is like, hell yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Fluffy going puffy today.
I do not remember the rest of the interview.
- I have kids and I lie to them.
I get high around too people say you shouldn't do that
but they don't see it.
They say you shouldn't be intoxicated around your children.
Well, I'm not, I'm high
call it elevated.
It's a different thing.
The people who have a problem with that
they don't understand what getting high is.
Like they think you're gonna be like your kid.
Like who are you?
What do you think?
What's the worst thing that can happen
if I'm a little high around my kid.
They're gonna get extra hugs
and daddy's gonna be paranoid about objects.
(indistinct)
That's it.
Plus I have cool conversations.
I have a six-year-old daughter, man.
You know, there's not a lot of 48 year old man
and a six year old girl have in common
other than the fact she's my daughter.
And so our conversations are normally pretty boring.
But when I'm high, I'm like
you know, you call that thing
your baby, your doll, you call it your baby.
But you know it's not a baby, right?
Yeah, I know it's not a baby.
Do you call it a baby because you're the youngest
and you like having someone who is responsible for you?
Maybe.
Okay, that's cool that's cool.
Give me a hug I love you.
- I see my age in my children.
I came home from the road.
This is not long ago.
I've been gone for a vegan picture.
I was gone for weeks and weeks.
And when I came back, nobody was home.
Not one person in my family thought
that maybe I'd like to see them when I got back.
Like, they knew when I was coming back,
but they just weren't, they just weren't home.
And that shit, was a wake-up call.
You know like when my kids were little
and the tour bus would pull up to the house,
these motherfuckers would spill out.
dad is home hurray
and they hug me and kiss me.
And then as the years went on, they'd get less interested.
Hey everybody look it's Mr. Promises back from the road.
(audience laughing)
But an empty house that's,
that's some cold shit.
Then i went into my oldest son's room.
I was like, hello?
He was gone
and never done this thing before,
but for some reason I just did it.
I just, I just looked through his shit.
Just to see who this motherfucker was becoming.
And I found these notebooks
then I started going through the notebooks
and it was all this wonderful poetry in them.
Written as his handwriting.
I didn't even notice nigga wrote poems.
And then I looked there was drawers
and I opened up his middle drawer
and I found this rolling paper.
I looked down at them papers like, Oh,
that's where that poetry is coming from.
And that shit broke my heart.
I mean, I smoke weed but I mourned my son's innocence
and I cried a little bit.
And I took his papers upstairs in my room
Rolled some weed that I'd hidden from the family.
And I got really high.
And then I got paranoid
so I put his papers back how I found them.
So he wouldn't know what I was up to.
This nigga won't even know that
that happened till he sees a special.
Yeah, nigga I found your papers.
He's a cold motherfucker, let me tell you
this kid is only 16 years old.
Listen to what he did to me,
this motherfucker calls me up
in the middle of the night.
It was one o'clock in the morning.
He goes, dad, don't be mad.
I knew something was terribly wrong.
I say, what's going on ?
He says, listen, I'm fine.
And don't forget, you told me to do this.
I'm at a party
and my designated driver had too much to drink
and me and my friends need you to come pick us up.
I said, Jesus Christ.
It's one o'clock in the morning nigga.
I am shit faced.
(audience cheering)
- But then I figured is better me than some kid.
- I might as well roll the dice and go pick my nigga up.
I said, all right I'm coming to get you.
Just give me the address and I'll be right there.
And then he gave me the address
and I was, I was shocked.
I said, son, you are not gonna believe this but
I'm at the same party nigga.
(audience laughing)
(upbeat music)