Hi guys my name is Karan Khera and I'm currently in the third year of
studying my Economics degree at the University of Nottingham.
Introverts are often energised by socialising with a smaller group of people,
typically close friends. They often prefer spending time alone and need time to recharge
after large social gatherings. This video is for anyone who feels they are introverted and yeah
is a bit I guess anxious or nervous about going to this new university environment.
To begin with I feel there's this big misconception with introverts
that they're either anti-social or quite shy and generally don't like talking to people,
when in reality that's not the case. I'm by all intents and purposes an introvert.
I prefer closer friends and like meeting at the pub or a restaurant
or at the library or just in small groups because I feel quite drained by large social gatherings.
As someone who struggles with a bit of social anxiety and just generally being in large
groups of people it's definitely a preference of mine to be in a more focused group of people.
I remember at the start of university I had this constant feeling well I didn't
quite understand where I fitted in and really struggled to talk to people and
was very hesitant. I eventually mustered up the courage to go to these different
social gatherings like clubs and like different society balls and push myself
outside of my comfort zone in order to experience these different things.
Thankfully because I tried these different experiences I eventually came to the realisation
that the setting just wasn't for me, and I've got nothing against going to the club or going
to different sorts of society or winter balls, but yeah that environment it just isn't for me.
And this builds onto my point about being an introvert at university. It's very important
to test the waters and try new things. Go outside your comfort zone to an extent,
especially in the first semester at university and then throughout the year.
The first year it's very important you use this time and this luxury in a sense to understand what
your favourite social activities are. When time becomes a bit more tighter in second and third
year you don't want to be wasting it on things you don't enjoy. So it's very important to understand
what you enjoy and then focus on that so you can get the best out of your university experience.
My second point is about making friends as an introvert at university. Now
this is difficult for everyone regardless of whether you're extroverted or introverted
like you're just thrown into this completely new environment, it's a shock to the system
and ultimately everyone is in the same boat. Everyone has the same anxieties about
making new friends, so please do not think you're the only one that is struggling to make friends.
And putting this in the context of introverts, quality over quantity of friends I believe is
very important. Now I think this applies to everyone, extroverts included, but especially for
introverts. We thrive off limited but meaningful connections that we can ultimately go back to,
rely on and enjoy the best time with without having to recharge after. Having say two or
three good friends that you have common interests with and really enjoy spending time with is much
better than keeping tabs on a dozen acquaintances that you message for the sake of messaging.
It's very important that you don't water yourself down and spread yourself too thin
and you find the perfect amount of people to be your friend. It's very important to be proactive
at university and take the initiative and speaking to different people at lectures, different society
fairs, different events, just everywhere. Just do your absolute best to speak to people. Just keep
trying and keep persisting with trying to make new friends and yeah you will eventually get there.
The key word there is 'eventually' because different people make friends
at different paces. Some people might find their lifelong friends in a week,
other people might take weeks or months to do it. I mean that's perfectly normal. I think it took
me about four or five months to really realise who my true university friends were and the ones
that I ultimately still spend so much time to today in the in our final year of university.
Don't feel scared of being 'rejected' so to speak. You will have tons of unsuccessful interactions
at university. Don't feel disheartened by this because you're testing the waters,
you're trying your best to make friends and you're going outside your comfort zone,
especially as an introvert. There were many times in first year where I went
out of my way to try and become friends with people but they just I guess didn't feel the
same way or didn't reciprocate that energy and I'm sure I've been guilty of doing that
myself without realising. So just ultimately recognise not everything will go 100% to plan.
You'll find people you connect with, just be honest, truthful and be yourself. That's the
most important thing. Don't feel obliged that you have to make friends in first year and after that
you're completely locked off from making friends beyond that. Ultimately you can make friends in
second and third year too and that's perfectly normal. There's no limit or restriction as to
the number of friends you can make and when you can make them and how you make them. Ultimately
the attitude of rushing to make so many people your friends, almost treating as a competition of
how many friends I can make during freshers week, that's not going to lead to happiness whatsoever.
It's very important that you just end up speaking to tons of people and eventually gauge as to
who you share interests with, who you I guess have the best connection with and ultimately
that will lead to the most meaningful connections and your best friends down the line.
My next point is on the fear of missing out and not feeling guilty about saying no to certain
social events. From day one at university so much information has been thrown at you,
academically with lectures and module selection, career-wise as well with all the internships, and
then socially too with society fairs, different events being run and different clubs and venues.
In the chaos of the first two or three weeks at university, don't feel compelled to attend
every single social event. Although you need to make the most of first year only attend
events that you really want to attend. For introverts especially large social
gatherings can be really draining and it's especially important you take the time to
recharge. Prioritise your mental health and feel relaxed about the fact that you're
going to spend a night in for example in your hall, just you know watching Netflix or just
chilling out, whereas other hall mates might be going to the club. That's perfectly acceptable.
To help cope with how hectic and chaotic Welcome Week can be in just generally the first two or
three weeks of university I'd recommend being quite proactive and planning out
which events you're going to attend which events you're not going to attend.
The societies you plan on joining. Prioritise and space everything out so
you can do everything quite healthily and in an enjoyable manner.
So yeah that's the end of this video guys, thank you very much for watching. If you did enjoy the
video be sure to leave a like rating and subscribe to the University of Nottingham's YouTube channel.
I've got my own YouTube channel as well which is called Karan Khera, and yeah I just make economics
related as well as just general education related videos if you're interested in checking them out.
But yeah thank you so much for watching and see you in the next video.
you