Have you been discarded by a narcissist or maybe they've discarded you and they're still
obsessed with you?
By the end of this video, you're going to find out why that narcissist is still so obsessed
with you.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung, top 1% attorney and the bestselling author of the books Negotiate
Like You Matter and Breaking Free, A Step By Step Divorce Guide.
I've helped thousands of people go from lives of drama, trauma, and chaos to step into lives
of freedom, possibility, and purpose.
I do the same thing right here with you in these videos.
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Now, are you dealing with a narcissist and they've actually discarded you, or you've
discarded them, and they're still completely obsessed with you?
You want to know why in the heck that is.
Before I can give you the exact why, I think it's really important that you understand
the psyche of a narcissist.
So, I narcissist has no inner sense of value.
They have to derive all of their value from the external.
So, they're constantly grasping on to whatever they can to get that source of supply, what
we called narcissistic supply.
A narcissistic supply is anything that feeds a narcissist's ego, anything that feeds their
ego.
It could be bad, it could be good, it could be neutral, but as long as it's feeding their
ego, then they're grasping onto it.
It's seriously like a predator with its prey.
They need to have that food.
They're going to grasp onto it wherever it is.
They're going to hurt people, anybody who's going to threaten that source.
So, just think of it like a really super hungry animal that's out in the wild and they finally
see a food source, and they're going to grasp onto that.
If somebody comes along and tries to threaten that source, they're going to reach out and
try to kill them, or hurt them in some way, because they have to have that food.
That's what's going on with the narcissist.
They live on it, they feed on it.
It's their food, it's their oxygen.
It can come in the form of many different versions.
The whole fact that they have no boundaries and that they beef up their egos by saying
how great they are and all of that, that's all a form of narcissism.
But remember we all, on some level, want to feel, seen, heard and know that we matter.
So, it's a continuum.
All human beings have to feel some sort of value, and we all want to have other people
notice our value as well.
That's just part of being human.
What differentiates a narcissist from everybody else wanting to know that they're valued is
that they have no sense of feeling, or empathy, or care, or love for another human being.
They just can't do it, because they feel that if they do it takes away from them.
That means you're taking away that food source, that oxygen source, their lifeblood, really.
They don't understand it.
They certainly have never processed it.
It's totally subconscious, but that's what's going on.
So, they attach themselves to people just the same as like pods do or leeches do, because
they need to attach themselves to people for food source.
They never attach themselves to people in order to give to them in some way.
They don't process the world that way.
It's only what can this person or this situation do for me.
So, when you're dealing with a narcissist, you've been dealing with three different phases
of the relationship, which are the love bomb, devalue, and discard.
If you want more information about those three phases of the relationship, definitely check
out my videos on love bomb, devalue, and discard.
During these three phases of the relationship, they can be loved bombing you while they're
devaluing you, and love bombing while they're discarding.
They really go back and forth between the phases.
Yes, it starts with love bomb and it ends with discard, but everything's happening sort
of all at once in that middle stage.
One of you guys actually commented on my videos.
It's like, it's love bomb at the beginning, discard at the end, and toxic stew in between.
That was a really great way of putting it.
So, while you're in the middle of the discard phase, you're still going to be getting love
bombed and going back and forth between love bomb and discard, which is sometimes called
hoovering.
Because that supply source is being threatened, and they don't want that supply source to
go away.
So, even if they don't want you anymore, and they're telling you, "I don't want you anymore."
They're rejecting you and they're telling you that you're a piece of crap, and that
you're a speck of dust on the planet, and nothing matters about you.
Well, they obviously must think that there's still some amount of supply they can get out
of you if they're still coming back to try to get more and trying to squeeze more out
of you.
So, that's what's actually happening and why they're still obsessed with you.
So, if they feel like there's some way that they can still control you, or if they can
upset you, or jerk you around in some way, or get you all riled up about something, then
they get supply from that.
So, they're going to come back and do that.
Even if they block you on something, well, they do that because they want to get a rise
out of you.
They want you to go, "Oh my God, why did you block me?"
Or, go back to other people and say, "Why did this person block me?"
Oh, they found out now that you're upset about that.
So, the best thing that you can do to get them to stop being so obsessed with you is
to just completely go no contact with them, and not give them any attention or any information
whatsoever.
Just react to them by just blocking them yourself and moving on and acting as if they just never
existed in your life.
Literally, like you're wiping out that part of your CPU, like that person never existed
in your life.
That's the only way that they will finally and eventually stop being obsessed with you,
because they'll finally have to move on and find a different source of supply.
They can't be rehabilitated.
It's not like they're going to change.
They're going to come back in a form of drunk texting you, or saying that they're sorry,
or hoover you in some way by saying, "Why aren't you responding to me?"
Try to get you sucked back into their weird vortex of craziness.
But you can't take that bait because if you do that, then that obsession with you will
continue to just go on and on and on and on and on.
If you are so ready to get that narcissist out of your life and say goodbye forever,
give me a, narc, be gone, in the comments.
So, to summarize the reason why the narcissist is still so obsessed over you is because they
still think that there are some shred of supply that they can get out of you.
Whether it's upsetting you, jerking you around, devaluing you, degrading you, getting you
to pay attention to them in some way, controlling you in some way, whatever that is.
That's why they're still obsessed with you.
There's some version of supply that they still think that they can get from you, and until
there's no more supply to be gotten from you, they're going to continue to be obsessed with
you.
Even if it seems like they've moved on to their new supply, if they can still get supply
from the new one and the old one, even better for them, because remember, they need an endless
amount.
It's like this black hole that can never be fed, right?
It can never be satiated.
So, as long as they still think there's some kind of supply they can get out of you, they're
going to continue to be obsessed over you.
If you are getting ready to negotiate with a narcissist, make sure you grab my free Crush
My Negotiation prep worksheet.
It's totally free.
It's 15 pages and you will definitely not want to be negotiating with a narcissist without
it.
You can get it from the link below or simply go to winmynegotiation.com.
If you want more support and you want to connect with others who are dealing with narcissist,
come on over and join us in my free private Facebook group.
It's called narcissist negotiators with Rebecca Zung, and we'll drop a link to that below
as well.
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I'm so glad you stopped by my channel today.
Remember, today's a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I'll see you in the next video.