-Pennsylvania Dutch foods.
I know Pennsylvania is a state in America.
And I'm guessing Pennsylvania Dutch
is old Dutch people who immigrated to America back in the day,
and they live there now.
*fast accordion music*
-Now, upon first glance, this looks like a tasty Sunday lunch treat.
-Okay. . .
-Ah, this is just so healthy, like (laughs)
-See, see this is the thing.
We ask for a normal thing and,
now, it smells all normal, smells all good.
So, what the f**k is this?
-It's a clear, leaky, onion-y
-Scallions. -Brothy-broth?
-You've got chicken, eh, spring onions I believe.
Um, carrots.
-It's all right, like, it's normal. It's lovely.
It's nice and wholesome!
-So, there's nothing weird about this? -There's nothing malicious in this!
-Good! 'Cause I'm really enjoying it. It's beautiful!
-I think that's, like, pretty nice. It's really comfort food-like.
-Absolutely! That's unreal! -Can you stop talking to us for a minute,
-while we finish this? Is that okay?
-My mam's gonna be tho proud of me eating my vegeshables.
-Eat your carrots. Finish your carrots, now.
*accordion music*
-Ehh, smells like pickles!
-So, we've got black beans- er kidney beans, I mean.
-Kidney beans. -Beans, carrots.
-Why the hell?
(cries) Don't want to be healthy, man!
(coughs) Holy shit! -Yeah!
-Kinda gets ya, doesn't it?
-Yeah, this is like pickled onion
-slosh. (laughs)
-There's an exciting amount of textures going on.
In one mouthful.
-Uh, yeah. Aye, listen.
-I'd have that (cough).
-It tastes like if they made a packet of crisps out of vegetables.
-I like Meanies.
-Yeah! -They're pickled crisps.
-They're nice. Not when it's vegetables, fam.
*accordion music*
-Ummmmmmmmmmmhhh
-Not nice. -That doesn't look good.
-It's ham, and chicken, with mashed potato soup.
-It looks like it's already been eaten
and vomited back out.
-It's like I'm eating bread,
that fell into, like, dessert or something by accident.
-Good ham!
-Ham is nice. The glop, again, is a bit questionable.
-I kinda like the appley-ness of it though.
-Ham and apple dumplings.
-Ham and apple dumplings. I'm all about it.
-All the food so far is wet and mushy,
and like really heavy.
-I don't like it.
I love it, love it, love it~
-This could actually be,
a Facts. video where they're not throwing us any curve balls.
*accordion music*
-Firm.
-Is it firm, is it? -Got a firm, pastry base.
-Ah, not without a bit of jelliness.
-Could it be caramel, and biscuit?
-Erm...
It's a Facts. video, so no.
-AH YEAH! Look at this bit!
I love this bit!
Yeah~
-Tastes a bit like Christmas cake.
No, brack.
-I enjoy it. I enjoy that kinda dark, curious texture.
[Both] Shoofly pie.
-Shoofly pie.
'Cause soufflé.
-Why? -Cause a fly would fly around a piece of shit.
But it would not even go near this thing!
-It's nice! It's just really sweet.
There's actually no distinctive flavour from it.
-Awww T_T
But also,
yay~
(laughs)
*accordion music*
-I will, I will literally bet my life,
that this has been inside the ballsack of an animal.
-I'm getting pemican flashbacks!
-It's called what now? Scrapple?
-Scrapple?
-Don't know how I feel about that.
-I can't put a distinct, like, flavour on it though.
This tastes like general meat.
-Internal organs? -How did you know- no one wants.
-So it's the pork version of haggis.
-We were waiting for the Dutch bit to come in,
and I think this is it. I think this is the weed brownie.
-This is what we just ate.
(clears throat)
No sweets. No chocolate. No crisps.
No, nothing nice.
We ate the f**king heart of a pig.
Facts. made us kill that pig.
-These hands.
-Yeah, yeah. And, like, they found that.
That's the only reason we did this shoot
is because they found a pig, wandering through the back of a Facts. farmyard.
(electric guitar and drum music)
-I'll be honest!
I was hoping for more weird shit.
-Yeah.
-And, uh, what we got was just good wholesome, you know
-I don't know if I would say I was hoping for it.
I was prepared for it.
Because, Facts. has done that to me.