So, drunk power is like the most awesome thing ever.
Cus it's like... You just like feel it. Like yeah!
You're not blacked out yet, but you definitely had more than a few.
You're just like: "Yeah, yeah!" You're like: "Oh, what we gonna do?"
"Are we gotta do that? Da, we gotta do that! Fuck yeah!"
And it's pretty much like anything. Like, like.. It's, it's...
Do we need to go and that giant circle break dancers and show them how to dance,
even though we have no idea how to break-dance?
Da!
And what happens? We go in there and we're fucking do the crab!
We do the crab and fucking everybody just starts losing it, like...
At first they are like: "What the fuck are these guys doing?"
"Oh my God, they're going after it! I don't know what this crab dance is, but yeah, yeah!"
And then all of a sudden, everyone's going fucking nuts for just doing the crab dance.
You don't really give a fuck and it's just...
And it's cool and as long as you're a good person,
you're not a shitty dickhead asshole, then you have nothing to worry about.
But if you're shitty dickhead asshole...
Yeah, you might want to check yourself,
cos you don't know what's gonna happen, especially if you start blacking out.
You.. I mean, and you're like a fighter? Ugh! Nobody likes that shit.
So, as long as you're fucking positive as hell, you're bringing everybody's fucking state just up, just up!
Then you gonna have a good time and you might get pussy.
Chris, wake up!
Why?
What do you mean why? You are passed out in the yard!
Was that just a dream I was on the couch?
Come on, get up.
C'mon!
I didn't do anything stupid last night, did I?
You don't remember?
No.
Was it awesome?
You are getting evicted.
What?
Cameron came by, she saw you asleep, she saw the mess, she put two and two together.
I mean, she wants you out by the end of the week.
Nick, are you serious? Look me in the eye!
Wow!
What?
Look at me Nick! Cameron is kicking us out?
I heard you said "us"?
Just me?
Sort of. Yeah.
You are staying?
You know how it is. Things are crazy right now. I don't...
What time is it?
It's 9:30.
It's also Monday.
Poop!
Alright, look, I'm gonna take care of this. I'll talk to Cameron and figure it out.
And now I get to work.
You gotta get better at this stuff, man!
Come on! Let's get out of here..
So, I used to wake up with bruises, like, all over my body.
You know, it would be like... Be like Boom!
Like some just big bruise, bruise, bruise.
And like, these little cuts all over.
I'm like: "What the fuck happened?"
And I asked my roommate about like, what happened.
He'd be like: "Dude, there is this bush, talking mad shit to you
and you would not leave it alone until you tackle the hell out of it!"
So, that's what would happen. Me and my buddy were bush-tackling like, constantly.
Just like: "Look at that! Look at that fucker!"
"He's talking shit on you, dude! He's talking shit!"
And then I'd be like "What?"
"Oh, mister Bushy, you're talking shit on me?"
"What did you say? You'll get real just up in that bushy face."
Just like: "What the fuck you think you're doing?"
Then you walk away, and you fucking spring there, as fast as you can.
Just do it like fucking Superman into it!
And you scream as loud as you can!
That's awesome!
Awesome! I don't remember a lot of it, but ..
You know.
I have to fire you.
What? Kevin, no! I thought today was Sunday.
It's not cos you're late.
You don't remember making a phone call? Late last night?
No.
You don't remember calling Shelly around 2 a.m.?
Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, totally!
Will it help, if I played it for you?
Shelly thought I needed a copy for HR.
Shelly, it's Tathus. You have a sweet butt.
Boom! I've just said that. It's okay.
I wanna put my winner in your winner, like a hand in a raging glove.
You wanna put yours in mine? You got my number.
I know I'm attached but...
I think you get the point.
Obviously, there's no way you can work here anymore.
Oh, come on! Kev, I was kidding!
What am I supposed to do?
Where is Shelly? I'll tell her I was kidding.
She's not here.
I told her to take the day off.
Well, then I'll call her.
Please, don't!
You gotta get yourself together.
I am! Kev, I'm trying!
Man, I getting into self development, it helped me reflect all my past and this shit.
I'm trying! I swear!
Just go clean out your desk.
God, everything is falling apart! I don't even remember it happening.
What are you doing now?
Go home at Tony's.
I think, I still love her.
What the fuck do you want?
Oh, man!
What did I do?
Of course! Of course you don't remember.
Why would you remember your girlfriend dumping you because you're an alcoholic asshole?
Cos I'm an alcoholic asshole?
Locate yourself! You are a wrecking ball, you are a walking wrecking ball!
I'm just trying to have a good time.
Well, I hope you are!
By the way, that sunburn makes you look like a fucking idiot!
I have a sunburn?
In the past I would wake up and...
Oh, God! Something horrible happened! What did I do? Fuck! Fuck! You know...
Cos I'm like: "Oh, God! I remember briefly I did this or that."
Nowadays I wake up, I've trained myself just to be like:
"Yeah, that probably happened, but I didn't go to hospital, I'm in my house, everything's cool.
I know I am a good person."
So it didn't, like, hurt anyone.
Cool! I'm just gonna keep moving forward, unless someone tells me otherwise.
It's fucking why, why, why worry about "Oh, I made an ass out of myself!"
Yeah, you did! You were drunk!
You, probably, also did a lot of cool things.
You are not giving yourself credit for.
Give yourself credit for the cool things.
Fuck.
Yeah!
So, drunk power, yeah.. It's a real thing.
It's not just a myth.
It's when you drink - you get extra strength, you got extra power.
Sometimes, actually intelligence.
It's pretty cool. I think my brother gets it too.
So when we combine, it's just like:
"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!"
But we know, what kind of drunks we are.
Cos that's what important, right?
You gotta know, like... I'm not violent.
I'm not gonna be weird. I'm not gonna drive.
So, yeah!
I don't get fucking wasted.
Everybody say "Hi, Chris!"
Hi, Chris!