The day has come
for outright fair dinkum unquestionable
positivity.
Welcome to Humans Being Nice.
That’s right.
We’re capable.
I take the piss out of our species,
but I am also a fan.
This bloke is literally taking the shirt
off his back to give it to another bloke.
Shirtless Bloke is like “Are you sure?
You don’t even know me.”
Singlet Bloke replies
“I don’t wanna know you,
I just wanna give you a shirt
cause it’s cold as balls.
Come on left arm in,
right arm in.”
If you’re gonna get on top of life
it does require a shirt.
There’s no way around that.
Aaand BAM!
Whack on a bonus beanie.
This is Expert Level generousity.
I like seeing adults be generous.
It means we’re not hypocrites
that just tell kids
to be generous and share.
Holy shit, that’s wholesome.
This legend has made her day.
He’s also made Baseball watchable.
That’s a massive two in one win.
This kid is like “excuse me, I’m a fan.”
His Dad is thinking “please athlete,
don’t be a wanker.”
Thankfully, the athlete is a nice person.
No let downs here.
“What’s that?
You’re getting bullied
for wearing the same clothes every day?
Fuck that!!
Here’s a bag of fresh clothes, mate.”
Having a conscience is not weak,
it’s GREAT!
Gee whiz it’s hard to speak poorly of teenagers
after this video
["I've been bullied my entire life."
"Yeah then I almost cried at lunch,
he told me, he was like:
you know you two the only two
that actually ever given me a gift."]
“Don’t make me go on the moving stairs,
I can’t do it, I’m scared.”
The human says, “no worries,
I can accommodate your anxieties,
you fucken accommodate all of mine.”
Yeah nah yeah, this is an anxiety
reciprocity love story.
Nothing beats a big comforting hug
on an escalator.
Oh this is nice!
It’s bloody wet weather,
this sheila is like “how ya go’in
Mr. Stray Dog,
would you like to use my scarf
as a warm blankey?”
“Fuck yeah, don’t mind if I do,
I haven’t had a warm blankey for months.”
That is top-notch footpath
hospitality.
Animals and the planet do do a lot for us,
so it is worthwhile giving back.
This legend is Reverse Fishing.
The bloody fish is apprehensive about it.
It looks a bit terrified.
The human hand places it in the water
“the fuck?! You’re telling me I’m free?
Woohoohoo!”
HA HA HA!
It gets to grow into a big fish.
There’s the shadow of the unfisherman.
This firefighter rescues a kitten.
It’s opened a pandora’s box of emotions.
He’s like “how has my soul been infiltrated by a cat!?”
His mates understand it’s a vulnerable moment
aaaand Man Hug Activated.
Ahh dear, karate is tough.
This little legend is struggling to break the board.
Sensei has gone full Buzz Lightyear
“never give up, never surrender.”
It’s hard, do ya push the kid,
do ya not, it’s a tricky judgement call.
Sensei is wise and patient, though.
Here we go.
NAH.
Again.
[Crowd Cheering].
Wisdom and patience is subtle,
ya don’t know it’s someone being nice to ya
until you reflect on it.
Bloody hell, I can’t stand old people.
I can’t stand ‘em.
They are too wholesome.
Look at him.
Tucked in shirt,
freshly shaved face,
a bunch of flowers,
what is this cunny funt up to?
He cracks a massive smile.
You thought I was gonna say stiffy.
I didn’t.
OHH it’s the missus!
She’s moving like a tiger.
There’s a smoochy smooch and a hug.
Fuck me stupid.
Imagine being nice to each other
after 50 years of marriage?
Relationship Goals Achieved.
Crikey.
Look at what the Mum of the house
has left out for delivery drivers.
A snack station!
[Delivery Driver: "Oh this is nice"].
You got ya Oreo’s,
ya cool drink,
ya H20,
what a fantastic day
to be a courier.
Little things is where it’s at
when it comes to authentic niceness.
It’s about little things.
Which drink will he choose?
Water.
That’s a disciplined choice.
He loves it.
He’s gonna be in a good mood
for the rest of the day.
Be careful rushing around town.
Take your time.
The bus driver signals to stop.
“You go.”
“Nah, you go.”
“Okay, I’ll go.”
This is like a buffet
of big city politeness right here.
Off he goes.
In conclusion,
you don’t need to live ya life
making other people feel small,
even if they are
legitimately small,
don’t be a dickhead.
There’s a hundred ways to give someone a boost
and make them feel good.
Okay, they’re genuinely
giving him a boost,
you know what I mean,
fuck yes for being nice,
fuck yes.