foreign
to an outcome if I win I will be happy if I don't I won't it's an if then cause and effect quid pro
quo standard that we cannot sustain because we immediately raise it every time we attain it
see happiness happiness demands a certain outcome it is result Reliant
and I say if happiness is what you're after then you're going to be let down frequently
and you're going to be unhappy much of your time Joy though Joy's a different thing it's
something else Joy's not a choice it's not a response to some result it's a constant
Joy is the feeling that we have from doing what we are fashioned to do no matter the outcome
now personally as an actor I started enjoying my work and literally being more happy when I
stopped trying to make the daily labor a means to a certain end for example I need this film to be a
box office success you know I need my performance to be acknowledged I need the respect of my peers
are all those are reasonable aspirations but the truth is as soon as the work
the daily making of the movie The doing of the deed became the reward in itself for me
I got more box office more accolades and respect than I ever had before see Joy is
always in process it's under construction it is in constant approach alive and well in the doing
of what we're fashioned to do and enjoying it and the easiest way to dissect success
is through gratitude giving thanks for that which we do have for what is working appreciating the
simple things we sometimes take for granted we give thanks for these things and that gratitude
reciprocate creating more to be thankful for it's really simple and it works
and I'm not saying be in denial of your failures no we can learn from them too but only if we look
at them constructively as a means to reveal what we are good at what we can get better at what we
do succeed at we try our best we don't always do our best and since we are The Architects of our
own lives let's study the habits the practices the routines that we have that lead to and feed our
success our joy our honest pain our laughter our earned tears let's dissect that and give thanks
for those things and when we do that guess what happens we get better at them and we have more to
dissect to get rich quick on the internet riches 15 minutes of fame world that we live in and we
see it every day but we all want to succeed right so the question that we've got to ask ourselves is
what success is to us what success is to you is it more money that's fine I got nothing against money
maybe it's a healthy family maybe it's a happy marriage maybe it's to help others to be famous
to be spiritually sound to leave the world a little bit better place than you found it
continue to ask yourself that question now your answer may change over time and that's fine but do
yourself this favor whatever your answer is don't choose anything that will jeopardize your soul
prioritize who you are who you want to be and don't spend time with anything that
antagonizes your character don't drink the Kool-Aid Man it tastes sweet but you will
get cavities tomorrow all right life is not a popularity contest be brave take the hill
but first answer that question what's my Hill well for me it's a measurement of five things
we got fatherhood we got being a good husband we got my health mind body and spirit we
got career and we got friendships these are what's important to me in my life right now
because I want to keep all five in healthy shape and I know that if I don't take care
of them if I don't keep up maintenance on them one of them is going to get weak man it's gonna
dip too deep into the debit section it's going to go bankrupt it's going to get sick die so
first we have to define success for ourselves and then we have to put in the work to maintain
it take that daily tally attend our garden keep the things that are important to us in good shape
defining ourselves by what we are not is the first step that leads us to really knowing Who We Are
be brave have courage and when you do you get stronger you get more aware you get more
respectful of yourself and that which you fear when I was 15 years old I had a very important
person in my life come to me and say who's your hero and I said I'm not going to think
about that give me a couple of weeks I come back two weeks later this person comes up and
says who's your hero I said I thought about it you know who it is I said it's me in 10 years
so I turned 25 10 years later that same person comes to me and goes so are you
a hero and I was like not even close no no no she said why I said because my hero is me
at 35. so you see every day every week every month and every year in my life
my Hero's always 10 years away I'm never gonna be my hero I'm not going to obtain that I know
I'm not and that's just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing
so to any of us whatever those things are whatever it is we look up to whatever it is we look forward
to and whoever it is we're chasing that I say Amen so that I say all right all right all right
I don't want to leave a place I travel to until I get to the point of going ah I could live here
this could be my existence as soon as I get to that point then I'm like okay you go now
I can go that's the same thing in the personal Journeys stick with it until you get through the
discomfortable to uncomfortable times until you go you know what I can spend time with myself I
could do this if I could do this forever well then it's okay to go to re-engage pick up your phone go
see your friends go have a drink what have you go look for those things that are other relationships
in life but hopefully not until there's Great Value in not doing that until you go I'm good
with me and me for right now unbelievable is the stupidest word in the dictionary
should never come out of our mouths think about it to say oh wow what an unbelievable play
it was an unbelievable book unbelievable film an unbelievable Act of Courage
really it may be spectacular it may be phenomenal most excellent or outstanding but unbelievable uh
give others and yourself more credit it just happened you witnessed it you just did it
believe it give your obstacles credit that there's a responsibility to freedom and that
there is freedom in responsibility you know and that earn your way there we remember the stuff
we earn the stuff we experience more than what the teacher tells us or what someone gives us for free
we just do broken proverbial sweat on it whether it's mental or physical or whatever we we built
it we we understand we felt how we got it how we achieved it how we got what we wanted
those stick with us whether we forget them intellectually they were written in our lineage
and they build resilience and they and and they build a healthy true optimism going forward to
know that oh no I've I've worked for something before and achieved it delayed gratification
responsibility is is appreciation of a past it's building up a lineage it's investing in ourselves
it's investing in something we started to build yesterday that we want to take into tomorrow
there's a response that gives us freedom you know that group of friends that you hang out
with that they really might not bring out the best in you you know they gossip too much or
they're kind of shady they really aren't going to be there for you in a pinch all right how
about that bar that we keep going to that we always seem to have the worst hangover from
or that computer screen right the computer screen that keeps giving us an excuse not
to get out of the house and engage with the world and get some real human interaction
how about that food that we keep eating the stuff that tastes so good going down makes
us feel like crap the next week we feel lethargic we keep putting on weight well those people those
places those things stop giving them your time and energy just don't go there I mean put them down
and when you do this when you do put them down when you quit going there and you quit
giving them your time you inadvertently find yourself spending more time and in more places
that are healthy for you that bring you more joy why
because you just eliminated the who's the wheres the what's and the wins that would
trust me too many options I promise there's too many options will make a tyrant
of us all right so get rid of the excess the wasted time decrease your options
if you do this you will have accidentally almost innocently put in front of you what is important
to you I process of elimination knowing who we are is hard it's hard to give yourself a break
eliminate who you are not first and you're going to find yourself where you need to be
take the lid off the man-made roofs that we put above ourselves and always play like an underdog
thank you