- (Pat) That's right, "blank" is
now part of a balanced breakfast.
(laughter)
- (Brian) Oh, no. That's why DJ Khaled has been getting,
uh, he hasn't been getting his nutrients.
- (Adam) He's malnourished, the poor boy!
- (Pat) Hi, it's another Jackbox video, it's Saturday,
we're gonna play Jackbox dot TV slash Partypack,
"You Don't Know Jack, I'm Jack Box." And we're gonna
sound off from left to right.
- (Brian) That's right. I'm Brian David Gilbert, over here.
- (Jenna) Hi, I'm Jenna, I don't need a bunch of fancy names
- (Simone) I'm Simone.
- (Adam) Hi, I'm Adam, I don't work for Polygon.
- (Jenna) Yay!
- (Pat) We've got Adam, here, from Eater, and we're gonna be
playing a very special version of Quiplash.
Clayton's made us a custom, uh, question set,
"Adam's Food Funnies." Adam, tell us about food.
(all laughing)
- (Adam) It's so good, you guys. Oh my God,
where do I start, it's terrific.
- (Pat) Uh, so, let's kick the game off, who's in control?
- (Clayton) Uh, it's me.
- (Pat) Oh, Clayton!
- (Clayton) I'm here.
- (Pat) Sorry!
- (all laughing)
- (Jenna) No!
- (Brian) I only eat this if it's
been cold pressed into juice! Oh, no.
- (all laughing)
- (Simone) Alright
- (Jenna) Yeah
- (Adam) Extremely good.
- (Jenna) I mean, it's juicy either way.
- (Adam) I love beef wellington, it's good, it's pastry-ish.
- (Jenna) What is beef wellington? Adam, can you
explain it to us?
- (Adam) It is, I believe it's roast beef, but it's
wrapped in pastry, so, you know, it's flakey.
- (all laughing)
- (Brian) Oh, that's very good, the US Government just added
this section to the food pyramid.
- (Clayton) Really, I've only had beef wellington, it was
vegan beef wellington, how does that even work?
- (Jenna) What is the point?
- (Simone) What's the inner bits?
Ey, with the topical humor.
- (Pat) Hey, sarcophagi are always topical.
- (Simone) Thanks, Adam.
- (Brian) It's impossible to get a reservation
at that hip new rest-
- (all laughing)
(laughing continues)
- (Brian) Uh, now here's the thing, unintentionally funny-
- (all laughing)
- (Clayton) I love it.
- (Brian) 'Cause that's all I could write,
for entirety of my thing, so-
- (Jenna and Simone laugh)
- (Brian) Before going with Fruity Pebbles, General Post
rejected this cartoon character and their breakfast cereal!
- (all laughing, muttering)
- (Simone) Jesus.
- (Brian) Awh, man.
- (Brian) You know, when we were doing food humor,
I thought we were gonna hit all the, like,
Jim Gaffigan stuff, but....
- (Pat, laughing) What?
- (Jenna) Brian!
- (Brian) Once again, I could only write
the first two letters, of both of my things
- (Clayton) What was your joke gonna be?
- (Brian) What was that?
- (Clayton) What was your joke gonna be?
- (Simone) Tell us what your joke was
- (Brian) Uh, I don't know, it was starting with fish,
but I literally just barely read that, so it's okay.
- (Jenna, laughing) the French one worked out so perfectly.
- (all laughing)
- (Jenna) Who was it who made the Macron joke?
- (Adam) That's me
- (Jenna) Good for you, on knowing the
first name of the French President!
- (Pat) This is the real reason Mom doesn't let me
cook at home, anymore.
- (Brian, laughing) I really do appreciate.
- (Adam) What's the rest of the other one, of Simone's,
what was the rest of that?
- (Simone) Why would you (gibberish) listen, there's no joke
after that, the joke is that the word cuts off early,
and it' a classic, and we won't examine it!
And we'll use it when we need to!
- (Adam) Damn.
- (Pat) Good work, Clayton.
- (Clayton) I wrote this questions, so I feel like
this is cheating.
- (Brian) Clayton wrote these questions, and also just
group-tested all the answers, beforehand, too.
- (Simone) He's been workshopping all week.
- (Jenna) Yeah, I've been wondering why you've been talking
about food, for the last week, so much.
- (Brian) My answers are more than two letters, this time.
- (Jenna) Mine are all-
- (Brian) Really movin' up in the world
- (Jenna) -a little bit crude, so...
- (Simone) Good.
- (Brian) Jenna just takin' the lowest
common denominator here, I guess.
- (Jenna) Yeah, it is the lowest hanging fruit.
- (Simone singing in Scottish accent) You take the highroad!
- (Brian) Sorry, what, Simone??
- (all laughing)
- (Pat) That's right, "blank" is now part of
a balanced breakfast.
- (all laughing)
- (Brian) Oh, no, that's why DJ Khaled, he hasn't
been getting his nutrients!
- (Adam) He's malnourished, the poor boy!
- (Brian) It's a shame. Oh, no.
- (Jenna) Really?
- (Simone) Well, your curse didn't pay off, Jenna!
- (Adam) Going blue for white
- (Jenna) Mm, worth it.
- (Simone) I think it was a good choice.
- (Jenna) Thank you.
- (Simone) Are you gonna read it, Brian?
- (Brian) The best meal is one you share with friends,
the worst meal is-
- (all laughing)
- (Clayton) We all love our wives, here.
- (Brian) Yeah, only respect for our wives.
- (Simone) Oh my God.
- (Jenna laughing)
- (Adam) First it was cronuts, now a rogue pastry chef
has fused two foods together to make...
- (Jenna) Is Spaghettham, like, spaghetti carved
into the shape of a ham?
- (Simone) It's noodles made out of ham.
- (Adam) Yeah, noodles made out of ham.
- (Brian) Spaghe-tham.
- (Adam) Spaghet-ham.
- (Pat) I imagine it's a nice roast ham, except it's all
been hollowed out, and when you just cut into it,
it just spills spaghetti out.
- (Brian) Ooh, good.
- (Jenna) Oh, I like that! I mean, I don't like that, but...
- (Brian) I won't eat this unless it's been slow-roasted
for at least half a day...
- (all laughing)
- (Simone) Jesus...hmmmm
- (Adam) I mean, if anyone wants to know more about
eating dick, there's a really good--just search, it's called
dick soup, it's about cooking, I think, deer penises?
It's a very, very good story by an author, Fuchsia Dunlop,
so I highly recommend it.
- (Jenna) Yeah, I guess spotted dick is steamed, isn't it?
- (Adam) It's also not, like, real dick.
- (Jenna) What is it?
- (Simone, Jenna, and Adam laughing)
- (Brian) The name of a restaurant that
requires a full body bib.
- (Simone) Jesus.
- (Brian) Those are both very good.
- (Jenna) It's a sponge cake!
- (Simone) It is, yeah, you can get 'em canned-
- (Jenna) Yeah, that!
- (Simone) You can get canned spotted dick.
- (Brian) Sweet and salty is a good combo,
but I prefer blank and blank!
- (Simone) I'm just going with my heart on all of these,
there's something that appeals to me.
- (Jenna) Awh man, nah, spicy and horny you guys, come on.
- (Simone) Clayton, you're not allowed
to do improv classes anymore.
If anyone wants me to finish singing
my Scottish song, let me know.
- (Jenna) Yeah, I think we all do.
- (Clayton) Oh, that's what it was.
- (Brian) Yeah, she's singing, uh, Loch Lomond.
That's the one.
- (Jenna) Word Lash!
- (Brian) Word Lash!
- (Clayton) I guess you could make it food related,
if you feel like it.
- (Brian) Yeah, I'm into it, let's get the food related.
- (all laughing)
- (Brian) How about instead of a sitcom,
it's like a food, like a cooking show.
- (Jenna) I like that, yeah, agreed.
- (Simone) Come up with a hilarious new cooking show
with this word in the title.
- (Brian, singing) We're deep in purple hue,
the highland hills we view-
- (Brian and Pat both singing) On the bonnie,
bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.
- (Pat) Uh, I ran out of time.
- (Brian) He was too busy thinking about Loch Lomond.
- (Pat) I was just thinking about the bonnie,
bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.
- (Brian) Yeah.
- (All laughing, muttering)
(laughing continues)
- (Simone) Oh, God.
- (Brian) Good job, everyone
- (Pat) I thought it had to be an anagram! Fuck!
- (all laughing)
- (Simone) This has happened so many times on this show.
- (Pat) How did I do it? How did I do this bad?
- (Simone) I don't see an anagram up there,
Pat, what happened?
- (Jenna) I think he ran out time, 'cause he was trying to-
- (Pat) Spaghetti perfection
- (Jenna) -to do the "spaghetti perfection."
- (Simone) Ohhh, oh-
- (Pat) And then I couldn't think of anything
for "NK," I guess-
- (Simone) -I see
- (Brian) Look, with the way Hell's Kitchen is going,
I feel like Gordon Ramsay is just two steps
away from "Gordon Ramsay Spanks."
- (Simone) I only voted once, I'm sorry.
- (Adam) This is the thing I love about Hell's Kitchen,
because the Marvel Cinematic Universe depicts it as,
like, this reall gritty crime-ridden area, and then you
come to New York and go to actual Hell's Kitchen and
it's just, like, gays and juice bars, and, uh, like,
protein shakes and shit, it's wonderful.
- (Brian) It's a good place!
- (Jenna) Why is it called Hell's Kitchen?
- (Adam) I do not know that.
- (Jenna) That's fair, that's not food-related.
- (Simone) That is too long a story, for-
- (Jenna) Oh, of course you know, you're wonderful.
- (Adam) I mean, it's got kitchen in the name, so...
- (Brian sighs) Just eased it out-
- (Pat) Good work, Brian.
- (Brian) Tell ya what, I don't think I've won a single
Quip Lash, since I've worked for this company.
- (Simone) Good job.
- (Brian) And I will take it, with "Le."
- (Jenna) Yeah, the "le" tipped you on over.
- (Pat) Hi, okay, now we're gonna try playing Word Spud,
which we've never played on here,
it's a word association game, it's sort of rapid fire.
It's gonna shoot these words at us and we need to
write down words that we associate with it,
and we vote on whether or not they were good words.
And let's keep it food themed!
- (Brian) Alright, into it.
- (Simone) Who's it gonna be?
- (Brian) (laughs) Damn it.
- (Simone) I do like it, I do.
- (Jenna) I was trying to click on something else,
but I did click on like, which is true.
(laughs) good luck, Clayclay.
- (Clayton) Oh, why me? (inaudible)
- (all laughing)
- (Brian) Ownager! You know what, I do like that, Clayton.
- (Jenna) I like ownager, yeah, I think
I remember that from math class.
- (laughter)
- (Adam) Keepin' it food themed!
- (Brian) Alright?
- (Jenna) Yes!
- (Pat) I'll allow it.
- (Simone) No such thing.
Oh, boy.
- (Jenna laughs)
- (Brian) Hmm, okay, yeah no that's pretty solid.
- (Clayton) That's the first one to, legitimately...
- (Simone) That's a food word, that's what that is. Uh oh.
- (Brian) Oh, Simone-
- (Jenna) I did not set you up well, I'm so sorry.
- (Adam laughs)
- (Jenna) Okay, okay-
- (Brian) No, no-
- (Jenna) I do like it! I do like it.
- (Simone) What??
- (Brian) No, no horse.
- (Simone) No!
- (Jenna) Yes-
- (Adam) I'm hungry so I'm gonna riot.
- (Jenna laughs) (inaudible) that famous saying.
- (Clay) Is that a thing?
- (All exclaim in agreement)
- (Adam) Squid ink pasta is delicious.
- (Brian) It's very tasty.
- (Adam) It's, like, salty, it's amazing.
- (Simone sighs)
- (Brian, laughing) Pasta regret.
- (Jenna laughs) For my body.
- (Brian) Sure
- (Simone) Thanks for my lazy answer.
- (Pat) Oh, what?
- (Jenna) Free! Free spot.
- (Adam laughs)
- (Simone) Yes! I do like it.
- (Brian) Awh, Jenna-
- (Jenna) Goodness, wow, I can't believe
you would say such a thing...
- (Simone) Okay, Jenna "pussy" Stevens!
- (all laugh)
- (Jenna, laughing) You guys, you made this so hard.
Um, oh my god. Why have you done this?
- (Simone) Yes!
- (Jenna) YES!
- (Brian) Yeah, sure.
- (Clay) We already did bowl-
- (Pat) Yeah.
- (Clay) -just to be clear.
- (Pat) Uh, um...
- (all exclaim)
- (Brian) Ooh! Clean and clear.
- (Simone) I mean, yes, I do like it, but, wow.
- (Adam) Did everybody write the same thing?
- (Jenna) Yes, God, I could hear all
of our fingers furiously typing.
- (Adam, laughing) I'm so sorry.
- (Brian) Yeah, sure! Alright, I'm into it.
- (Simone laughs)
- (Jenna) Lazy! You will not be bounced back.
- (Adam) I was like, no I'm like channeling Miz Cracker,
"okay Kaitlyn it's time for dinner."
- (all laughing)
- (Pat) I do like it.
- (Simone) Yeah!
- (Adam) No, no.
- (Simone) What? What?
- (Brian, laughing) Adam and I both went with the hole.
- (all laughing)
- (Jenna) What did you guys say?
- (Brian) Hole.
- (Adam) We both said hole.
- (Clay) It works here.
- (Simone) Wow.
- (Jenna) Yeah, it does. I do like that.
- (Adam) I mean, wait, what doesn't hole work for?
- (Simone) Also known as the ozone.
- (Pat hums in contemplation.)
- (Brian) It's hole milk.
- (all laughing)
- (Jenna) Hol-ee?
- (Adam) "Hole" hog?
- (Pat) I don't know!
- (all laughing)
- (Brian) Yes, very do like that
- (Clayton) Very good.
- (Jenna) You're takin' my bit!
- (Brian) Simone!
- (all laughing)
- (Clayton) I don't understand
what's happening in this game right-
- (Brian) This is a good one.
- (Jenna laughs) Oh, no.
- (all laughing)
- (Adam) Not, not that.
- (Brian) They're great totties.
- (all laughing, sighing in unison)
- (Pat) I do like it.
- (Adam) I'm so sorry.
- (Brian) Alright, Clayton, where's it going?
- (Jenna) You've really regressed-
really regressed to child (inaudible).
- (Simone) I don't like it! I don't.
- (Brian) We've all not liked it, that's crazy.
- (Pat) Oh!
- (Simone) Yeah-
- (Brian) Mm-hmm!
- (Simone) I do like that, thank you.
- (Clay) Yes, that's what I was (inaudible).
- (Brian) There we go, back on track.
- (Simone) Back on- yeah, yeah.
- (Jenna sighs)
- (Clay) I'm noticing in the word cloud
it just obliviated my submission.
- (Simone) Pat, don't do this again.
- (all laughing)
- (Brian) I'm voting yes for this because
I want "yahaha" to be the next one!
- (Adam) Yahaha! Hello! Yes!
- (Brian) Yahaha!
- (Adam) Yeah, I play too much Zelda.
- (Simone laughs)
- (Adam) Okay, Simone, someone's gotta keep it going.
- (Brian) Well done.
- (Simone) Oh no.
- (Adam) Wow. We moved into Reyam!
- (Jenna laughing)
- (Jenna) Can we vote? Shit-
- (applause)
- (Brian) How beautiful.
- (Simone) That makes sense. Food, fuckin' bread.
- (Adam, laughing) We didn't even do food, half the time!
- (Clayton) Our guest, Adam, would you mind reading
the word cloud we've created?
- (Brian) Yes, please.
- (Adam) From, uh, just left to right?
- (Clayton) From the top, yeah.
- (Adam) Total ownage poor spaghetti marinara black pasta
bowl fuckin' bread winner chicken dinner time for a piece of
pie in the sky hole! Egg-g-ggreat titties
in the junk, in the trunk, on a elephant!
Yahaha ro ma ro ra ra ra!
Rasputin is a powerful historical figure!
- (all laughing)
- (Brian, laughing) Thank you, Adam.
- (Jenna) I desperately wanted that to rhyme!
- (Pat) I think we did it.
- (Simone) We did it.
- (Jenna) Yeah.
- (Pat) I think we've successfully Jackbox-ed once again,
and we'll be (mispronounces) back-
- (Jenna) Next week!
- (Pat, in Canadian accent) Back next weekend, ey-
- (Jenna, in accent) Ya!
- (Pat) Uh, with a new episode of Jackbox Polygon plays
dot TV, uh, like and subscribe!
- (Brian) Please.
- (Simone) Bye!
- (all) Bye!