>> I GOT T I GOT IT THAT WAS A CLIP FROM "F IS FOR
FAMILY," THE 5TH AND FINAL SEASON IS STREAMING RIGHT NOW ON
NETFLIX.
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SHOW.
>> THANK YOU.
>> James: EXPLAIN WHAT THE SHOW IS ABOUT.
>> IT IS LOOSELY BASED ON MY WILDHOOD GROWING UP IN THE '70S.
AND IT WAS MATERIAL I DID THROUGHOUT MY STANDUP CAREER AND
I STARTED IN THE '90S AND EVERYBODY WOULD LAUGH ABOUT
HAVING CRAZY PARENTS AND YOU KNOW, GETTING THROWN DOWN THE
STAIRS BY YOUR BROTHER AND ALL OF THAT.
AND SOMEWHERE AROUND THE 2 THOUSANDS, I THINK MILLENIALS
HAD A DIFFERENT CHILDHOOD SO I STARTED GETTING-- LIKE THEY
WOULD GROWN WHEN I WOULD DO THE JOKES, OH, EVERYTHING WAS LIKE
DEFINED AS ABUSE AND EVERYTHING.
SO I STOPPED DOING THOSE JOKES AND I WAS THINKING WELL HOW CAN
I DO THIS WHERE PEOPLE WON'T GET UPSET.
AND THEN I JUST THOUGHT OF I'M A BIG SOUTH PARK FAN, YOU CAN GET
AWAY WITH STUFF ON THAT.
MAYBE I WILL TRY TO LIKE MAN MATE IT.
AND IT IS REALLY FUNNY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HAVE UNDERAGE KIDS
DOING DRUGS IF THEY ARE REAL.
BUT LIKE NOBODY WORRIES THAT ANIMATED KIDS ARE GOING TO
INFLUENCE ANIMATED KIDS TO DO DRUGS.
IT'S REALLY WEIRD.
SWRRS WE WERE TALKING YESTERDAY ON THE SHOW ABOUT A HOLIDAY
SHOPPING, CHRISTMAS SHOPPING, ALL THAT STUFF.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU?
ARE THE TYPE THAT WAITS UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE.
>> I USUALLY BUT THIS YEAR I'M SO SICK OF DOING THAT, I GOT THE
WHOLE THING, I GOT EVERYBODY BIG, THERE, HERE ST, SHUT UP,
LEAVE ME ALONE GIFTS.
I GOT IT WRAPPED.
I GOT THE TREE, I GOT IT SPRITZER TO KEEP THE TREE ALIVE.
I GOT THE WHOLE THING IS DONE, IT'S DONE.
>> GOOD FOR YOU.
>> YEAH, DUN, I'M NOT DOING IT AGAIN, I'M TAPPING OUT.
I'M NOT DOING THE INSANITY.
I HATE ALL OF THOSE-- I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS BUT I DON'T LIKE ALL OF
THAT HAVING TO BUY SOMEBODY AND THEN YOU KNOW, YOUR GIRLFRIEND
OR WIFE, THE FRIENDS GIVE YOU PRESSURE LIKE WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO GET HER, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO GET HER, I DON'T KNOW, WHAT
IS SHE GOING TO GET ME, HUH?
GOING TO GET ME A FLAT SCREEN, IT'S RIDICULOUS, THE PANDERING
YOU HAVE TO DO.
Z NO, IT'S LIKE AM I IN SOME THIRD WORLD WHERE WHERE I HAVE
TO PAY OFF THE DICTATOR HERE, EVERY COUPLE OF MONTHS HAVE I TO
STAY YOU LIKE TRIBUTES, LIKE I'M NOT DOWN HERE DOING DISHES AND
PULLING MY OWN WEIGHT, IT'S INSANE.
BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT IT IT IS.
THAT IS HOW YOU KEEP THE PEACE SO I DECIDED TO RIP THE BANDAID
OFF AND JUST GET IT IT DONE.
I WENT RIGHT DOWN THE LINE.
YOU KNOW.
AND I DID IT.
>> WHAT ABOUT YOU, YOU AND YOUR WIEFER, WHO GETS MORE EXCITED
FOR THE HOLIDAYS.
>> HER, FOR SURE.
I DON'T, I AM JUST NOW LEARNING ABOUT THAT IT'S CHRISTMAS, ABOUT
TO BE CHRISTMAS RIGHT NOW ON THE SHOW.
I COMPLETELY HAVE FORGOTTEN.
>> NO.
>> I DON'T THINK ABOUT IT THE A ALL.
ESPECIALLY LIKE IN L.A. T IS SUNNY, YOU KNOW, EVERY SINGLE
DAY OF THE YEAR, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SEASON IT IS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, MAN.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T KEEP UP.
I'M BUSY ENOUGH.
I JUST CAN'T KEEP UP WITH WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE WORLD.
HOLIDAYSK BUYING PRESENTS AND STUFF LIKE THAT, I'M LIKE BILL,
I'M ALSO NOT A GOOD LISTENER.
MY WIFE IS REALLY GOOD AT LISTENING, SHE PAYS ATTENTION TO
THINGS WHEN I TALK.
REALLY SWEET OF HER, SHE'S A WONDERFUL PERSON.
AND SHE KEPT HINTS ABOUT WHAT I MIGHT WANT AND THEN IT COMES
TIME TO BUY HER A PRESENT AND I'M LIKE-- I DON'T-- I DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO DO.
>> James: IT CAN BE AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE.
>> IF YOU CAN'T KEEP UP, YOU JUST TAP OUT.
I DON'T WATCH THE NEWS MI ANY MORE.
>> James: OH, I THOUGHT YOU MEENT SUICIDE.
>> NO, I USED TO THINK ABOUT THAT.
>> THE ULTIMATE TAPOUT.
>> I WOULD NEVER DO IT THE ONLY THING THAT SUCKS ABOUT HAVING
KIDS IS THAT TAKES IT OFF THE TABLE.
>> YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU CAN'T DO IT ANY MORE.
>> YOU JUST CAN'T.
>> James: REGGIE, DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR OUR GUESTS THIS
EVENING.
>> YES, I DO.
>> Reggie: TONIGHT'S QUESTION GOES TO YOU ARE O GUESTS.
>> HELLO.
>> Reggie: SO BILL, GOOD IT TO SEE YOU.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.
>> Reggie: ARE YOU ONE OF MY FAVORITES, MAN.
>> I ASSUME THAT TEXT WAS FROM YOU.
>> IT IT WAS FROM ME.
>> WHEN I SAID AO GOOD TO SEE YOU ON THE SHOW, I SAID THAT IS
DEFINITELY NOT A WHITE PERSON.
AND I WAS LIKE ALL RIGHT, IT WAS EITHER THE DRUMMER WHO I DON'T
KNOW OR IT WAS REGGIE.
>> IT WAS ME.
>> Reggie: IT WAS ME.
FOR THE CALLBACK.
Z BILL, HERE'S YOUR QUESTION, IF YOU WERE IN MAINE SOMEWHERE AND
SOMEONE OFFERED YOU SOME CRAB LEGS.
OR A WHOLE CRAB UNTO ITSELF.
HOW, WOULD YOU BE EXCITED ABOUT THAT?
>> HOW FAR OUTSIDE OF PORTLAND AM I?
AT LEAST LIKE MAYBE 200 MILES.
>> NO, I'M NOT HEATING ANYBODY 200 MILES OUTSIDE OF PORTLAND
AND MAIN.
I WOULD QUICKLY MAKE UP AN EXCUSE AND JUST BE LIKE YOU KNOW
WHAT, I JUST HAD SOME.
IT'S THE WEIRDEST THING, I WAS A HUNDRED MILES OUTSIDE OF
PORTLAND AND SOMEONE JUST FILLED ME UP.
I'M GETTING GNAW SHUS JUST LOOKING AT THOSE.
I MOW YOU THIS MUST HAVE COST YOU A LOT OF MONEY, I APPRECIATE
THE OFFER, MAYBE NEXT TIME I'M 1200 MILES NORTH OF PORTLAND.
>> James: WHAT WOULD YOU DO.
>> I'M TOO NICE, I WOULD EAT THEM.
I WOULD CRACK THEM OPEN AND EAT THEM, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
>> I WOULD HAVE A LOOK AT THE PERSON WHO WAS OFFERING, YOU
KNOW, YOU CAN GET A VIBE FROM SOMEBODY, LIKE THIS GUY, HE
COULD-- THIS GUY HAS GOOD CRAB LEGS OR THIS GUY DOES NOT HAVE
GOOD CRAB LEGS, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
>> James: WHAT DO YOU MEAN.
>> RIGHT S THIS A TRUST WORTHY GUY, ARE THESE FRESH?
YOU KNOW, YOU'VE GOT TO GET AN IMPRESSION AND GO BASED ON THAT.
>> James: WHAT DO YOU SAY, REG.
>> Reggie: FOR THE FIRS TIME, BOTH PEOPLE ARE CORRECT.
>> James: ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.
PLEASE THANK BILL BURR, GLENN HOWERTON, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH MEGHAN TRAINOR, EVERYBODY.