- Stop choosing people that are not choosing you in return.
If you find that you are attracting either
emotionally unavailable people
that don't want to get close,
or you're attracting people that don't want to commit to you
than it is due to a childhood wound
that I'm going to be talking about in this video.
And if you change this one thing
it will change the whole entire energy dynamic.
But also I'm going to explain to you why
you may keep attracting this energy dynamic,
where people aren't choosing you
And how you can change that in the most powerful way.
I've learned this recently.
And it has completely transformed
not only my outer reality
with my dating life and just love in general
but also my inner reality and how I carry myself.
So in this video, we're going to talk about that right now.
(upbeat music)
Welcome back to another video.
My name is Aaron
and I help people expand their consciousness
Now on this video.
I'm going to be sharing with you
why you may be attracting
people that are not choosing you
and why does that happen?
Why that be?
Now this is something I realized,
actually right over here.
There's this there's, I'm in Sedona
and I'm looking there's this patio
that's looking out.
I was talking to a buddy, Victor of mine
and we were talking about
some of my old relationships and past
like patterns that I've experienced.
And it was so obvious
how it was a complete reenactment of this childhood
experience that I had when I was a kid
where things happened to where, you know, we
it's very common that we have parents that may be
emotionally unavailable.
So what happens is we have a parent or parents
that are emotionally unavailable
because they're going through their own processes.
It's not really their fault.
Normally they also had emotionally unavailable
parents as well.
So that's why they are that way.
But nonetheless, I found that
because of that energy dynamic when I was a kid
of craving, I guess that nurturing or that attention
or that kind of like that
that just energy in general
of that nurturing that love
that what I did is that that energy felt familiar.
So what I would do is that would attract woman into my life
that wouldn't necessarily choose me
or they would have these big, like intimacy blocks
or they'd have their own stuff going on to where
that they wouldn't want to commit.
And I would, I had to say, why is that?
And in an epiphany and a realization
I realized that it's the same exact energy dynamic
from when I was a kid
from when I was looking
imagine where like these little babies
and we're like looking up and we're like looking at her mom,
we're looking at her dad.
And we're just like,
(baby sounds)
Like that.
And then imagine at a certain point
your mom or your dad's going through something
and they stopped paying attention to you.
You can feel that they're not emotionally present.
So in that moment we say
we start getting anxious and we start feeling kind of weird.
We're like, what is going on here?
Maybe if I changed myself,
maybe if I could
maybe if I act a certain, maybe I'll get more attention
or more ener... or more love and a addoration.
And then what happens is there's a seed that is
planted where we don't feel worthy.
We think there's something broken with us.
We think that there's something wrong with us
as a, as the self, as the identity.
And then what happens is because we believe we're broken,
we then go into future relationships
with that underlying notion.
I am broken.
There's literally a sense of shame there.
There's a sense of lack of worthiness.
And then what happens is
these people will put up with people that won't choose them
because it's in the same way as them like
either trying to fix that person.
It's like, we're trying to fix our partners
so that then they can love us.
Just like, we'd wish we could fix our parents
so that they can love us too.
And the problem was that with that
is that then we choose those people that aren't choosing us
because that energy dynamic feels familiar
from when we were kids.
So really what this is,
is it's an addiction to an energy dynamic
that feels comfortable and familiar
even though it's not necessarily positive.
You know, a lot of times when we say
I have a very deep connection with this person,
and maybe it's a toxic relationship
deep connection is a lot of times synonymous
with familiar connection.
It feels familiar.
It feels like it did when I was a kid.
And that was a harsh reality that I had to realize.
And then I had to say, you know
if you're attracting people that aren't choosing you
it's because you're not, you're not choosing yourself.
And they're mostly not choosing themselves either.
They're trying to do something to please their family.
They're trying to do something
or they're holding themselves back from themselves
in some way
because maybe they have their own intimacy issues.
But do you find that
you're not choosing people that choose you?
It's because you're not choosing yourself.
The key to this, by the way is vulnerability.
It is authentically expressing yourself more clearly.
And to stop playing this game where people
aren't choosing you,
it is not authentic for you to be
in a relationship with somebody
that's not choosing you.
It may feel like it because of the story
of the familiar pattern from when you were a kid
but the key to this is realizing
that it may not be off authentic.
The best thing you could probably do
is just be vulnerable.
To share with people how you feel
to put yourself out there.
Yes, it might open you up to them, rejecting you
or you to make an, a clear cut to where you say,
Hey this is the way I want this
dynamic or this relationship.
And if they say, no, that's fearful
I can't choose you right now.
Then that's okay.
Then make that choice from that level of awareness
I'm seeing a lot of people going through breakups right now
a lot of different friends.
And it's very obvious what makes it hard
is the story that this person
and they keep choosing people that aren't choosing them.
And I'm like, what are you doing?
I did it too though.
So I get it.
The moment I started choosing myself
other people then started choosing me.
Isn't that interesting how it works?
That's really the key to magnetic energy
but it's also being vulnerable with yourself.
People that attract emotionally people
are normally also people that
have a certain level of emotional unavailability.
They say, I want someone that's emotionally available
but it may not feel familiar for you.
You may find that you're not attracted to people
that are emotionally available.
It seems too boring for you you see,
we are addicted to the same childhood pattern dynamics
when we're kids.
And the key to this is becoming aware of why that is.
And the key to this healing
is realizing this concept.
This was a game changer.
This completely changed my life.
Having an emotionally unavailable parent
having a partner that's emotionally unavailable
and ending that relationship.
It was realizing that it had nothing to do with me
mom or dad's emotional unavailability when you're a kid
had nothing to do with you
your dad cheated on your mom when your kid
had nothing to do with you.
Your parents divorced and had nothing to do with you.
When we're kids we're a little narcissists
that think it's all about us.
And then we develop a belief that says I broken
and we carry that with us in to our relationships.
It had nothing to do with you.
You are worthy for being you,
your ex leaving you
does not mean you're unworthy.
It just didn't work out.
It wasn't the energy dynamic
that was in resonance.
You've changed and you've outgrown it.
So the key to this is realizing that in the same way,
your partner and you not choosing you
doesn't mean you're not worthy.
It's only there to reinforce the belief
that you are unworthy
because you believe that right now
because when you were a kid
you also had somebody not giving you your needs.
And you thought you were unworthy then.
That was their shit.
Your responsibilities to talk is to stop taking
responsibility for their stuff,
to draw the line
to say that that, that that's their stuff not yours
and something that we're going to be doing soon
starting July 1st to July 21st
as a 21 day magnetic love challenge
to where we go into these wounds.
We heal our masculine and feminine
wounds inside of ourselves and heal.
We end codependent patterns.
We end intimacy issues.
We become a more emotionally...
we become emotionally available.
We stop attracting people that are unemotionally available.
We let go of love blocks, intimacy blocks.
We're going to go through 21 days
of transformation
of opening up to a new magnetic version of us
that we attract love easier than ever.
So if you want to join right now
it's one of the first times I've promoting it.
I'm super excited for you to join this two amazing bonuses
you get right now too.
One of them is a Q and A call with me and my friend, Matt
who is a relationship and dating coach.
We're going to be going over
and answering questions engaging
and helping you remove the love blocks that you have
and your childhood attachment pattern.
And then I'm going to be bringing in
my shadow work integration coach.
I've never shared him with you guys.
He's going to be doing a call and a Q and A with me.
And we're going to be doing that with you guys
on masculine and feminine energy.
So you get those bonuses right now if you join,
all you gotta do is go to AaronDoughty.com/love
L O V E, or click the link below.
Join the 21 day magnetic love challenge.
And it's different than YouTube videos.
This is like a process you go through
and there's a high vibe group that you get access to as well
for doing the accountability
to why you're in a more magnetic use.
So if you want to go through this deep healing
click the link below, join.
We're super excited.
It's the most exciting thing I've done.
And pretty much we're going to go in live
for 21 days in a row it's crazy.
But if you want those bonuses, click the link below.
Other than that,
realize the key to your healing is vulnerability
being vulnerable with yourself.
Being honest with yourself and integrity with yourself
and staying there around longer,
hoping they fix or they change is also infused in reality
That they're broken.
You see, you're like, well, you need to be fixed.
And I realized that with my ex, I was doing that.
I was like, oh, you're I
it was almost infusing this reality
that she was broken.
I'm like, no, she's not broken.
She's just going through her own journey.
And maybe maybe that's like something she has to go through.
And I had to really let go.
And once I let go
it was crazy how much my life transformed
how empowered I felt
and how much that changed everything.
So with that being said,
if you're in on the 21 day magnetic love challenge
comment below and join it.
I can't wait to start it.
And as always hope you guys enjoyed this video
talk to you later.
Peace, much love and namaste.