- Today we do the time
with a whole new batch of food crimes.
- Let's talk about that.
(upbeat music)
Good Mythical Morning.
- We've done a couple episodes now addressing
the most particularly wicked food crimes on the internet,
and we thought they'd have learned their lesson by now,
but in the words of the Batman,
food crimes don't sleep and neither do we.
- That's right, we are Food Batman.
- Well, yeah, if Batman were to taste two villains
and say which one tasted worse,
then we would be Food Batman. - Yes.
- Yes. It's time for:
You're Under Arrest for Food Crimes Most Heinous,
How Dare You Make Cereal Out of Orange Juice and Pig Anus?!
A food crime is a uniquely offensive dish
that someone has actually had the gall to create
and share photos of online,
only to receive immense backlash from the public
who declare them crimes against good taste.
- So we posted a series of face-offs
between food crimes found online
and you, the jury of Mythical Beasts,
voted on which dishes you thought
were the more disgusting offender of the two,
a.k.a. which ones you would least like to eat.
- The Mythical Kitcheneers
have recreated those food items for us
and we're gonna be tasting both of 'em.
We'll compete to guess which one
we think you said was worse.
- Points escalate each round.
The loser's gonna have to eat a surprise super food crime
created by the Mythical Kitchen.
The Food Bane to our Food Batman.
- Okay, let's bring those first two dishes in on the...
Bat-Plates.
(dramatic fanfare)
- Let's start off by putting fish where it shouldn't be.
- Okay.
- The Filet-O-Fish cookies and cream ice cream sandwich...
Gah.
Versus canned sweet chili tuna on a Kit-Kat bar.
- This is exactly what it looks like.
It's cookies and cream ice cream on a Filet-O-Fish sandwich.
There's nothing much to it. - Why, why, why, why? Why?
- Okay, this was originally posted on Twitter
and then shared on Reddit.
The original tweet read,
"Fish Filet + cookies and cream ice cream.
It's a Mississippi thang."
Well, think about it. - Maybe it's good.
- Tartar sauce is creamy.
Maybe you want it to be cold,
and then you're like, "Add Oreos."
- [Link] I mean, this is gonna be drippin', mang.
- I'm going for it. I'm gonna get a real bite here.
There's already cheese on it.
It's not as bad as you think you want it to be.
- I don't want it to be bad. I just know it's stupid.
- It's stupid and I do not prefer it,
but it's not making me gag.
I thought I would immediately gag.
- [Stevie] It doesn't have that french fry...
That's all I could think- - Yes!
- [Stevie] Was that's what they were thinking.
- It does have that. - It does?
- But the fish really throws it off.
- [Stevie] Yeah!
- Like french fry in a Frosty thing?
- Yeah, yeah. - I mean, maybe but...
Yeah. There's fish in here.
- I think that is the principle
that they are operating under in Mississippi.
- But, I mean, if you direct your attention over here-
- [Rhett] Oh, I have.
- [Link] This looks like a CSI scene.
- Well, what would you say had happened?
What crime has been committed?
- There was a grinder involved.
- Oh, gosh.
- And what's left of a human hand.
- How did this happen? - This is a lot.
And this is exactly how it was posted on Facebook
and then shared on Reddit, that's all we know about it.
I'm gonna break me off a piece
so I can get to the middle of it.
- [Rhett] Yeah, you gotta get one that's loaded.
- This is like some sort of chili spice tuna, right?
- [Nicole] Yeah.
- I mean, there is precedent for this.
- Oh yeah, okay. Let's hear that.
- In Singapore, there is a tuna-flavored
can of cat food called Kit Cat.
That's as close as we can get to making sense of this.
- Well, maybe somebody got confused.
- Dink it.
And sink it.
- The sweet chili helps. - It really does.
You get that chocolate in there...
It's better than that.
- It's better than the Filet-O-Fish.
- How is it better than that? But it is!
- It's not as offensive.
- Nicole, did you actually taste one of these
when you made it for us? - [Nicole] Absolutely not, no.
- "Absolutely not." - You just looked at it.
- [Nicole] Yeah.
- Well, it tastes good. You should try it.
Well, it tastes good compared to that.
- Which one did you think was a bigger food crime?
- 'Cause you guys don't have the benefit of tasting it
when you vote on it.
I gotta take that into account.
(Rhett groans)
Okay, I'm ready.
Three...
- [Stevie] Two, one. - Boop!
- I think that the idea of tuna
just being dolloped on top of chocolate
is nastier. - Stevie, you helped us out
with your rationale about the Frosty and fries.
- [Stevie] Well, I don't know how much I helped you,
because 51%-
- Oh, no! Come on! - Ooh, no!
- [Stevie] It was super tight...
Of the Mythical Beasts thought that the fish filet
and cookies and cream ice cream sandwich
was the bigger food crime.
- Well, I mean...
- Well, it turns out you're correct.
- That's what's in the...
What do you call it?
The range of error?
What is the political term?
Statistical error?
I went to engineering school,
but I haven't done it for a long time.
- Standard range of deviation.
- Yeah, that thing. You know.
(dramatic fanfare)
Okay, now we got some real low-lives
who straight-up disrespected the most angelic of food.
Beans!
- Oh!
- We got baked beans with strawberries.
And, a blueberry smoothie
with agave black tea chickpea boba.
To be exact.
- The range.
All right,
let's start with this beans and strawberries, okay?
This was spread all over the internet, Reddit, Facebook,
Imgur...
- Imgur.
Yeah, it's like a image.
- Ur.
- Imgur.
- But it was originally posted back in 2017 on Facebook
by Damayor's barbecue restaurant in Kansas City.
The photo has no explanation, and two likes.
- [Rhett] Okay, hey, that's all it takes to get on the show.
- This is apparently
one of those any and everything moments.
So let's dig into it.
- Well, and we're making it like the picture,
so there's some celery in there.
I'm gonna focus on the strawberry and the beans together,
because I feel like- - I think you gotta have,
the celery is a bad idea,
so that's why it needs to be in the spoon.
That's a big piece of celery, too.
- [Rhett] I mean...
- Little bit of sweetness on the strawberries, but...
Who cares?
- The beans are good.
The beans are carrying,
doing most of the heavy lifting here.
The look on your face, I feel like it's unnecessary, but.
- Honest.
- I don't think that the strawberries
are doing bad things for it,
but they're not doing anything for it,
like it's just a little bit- - What about this look?
- Yeah, that's a good look.
It's just a little bit of sweetness,
but it's just kind of a dumb idea.
I just think it's a dumb idea.
You know what I'm saying?
But I don't think it's horrible.
Let's talk about this.
Okay, so this was actually posted on Bush's Baked Beans
Instagram account, and they said
"Y'all having a hard time
dealing with that boba tea shortage?"
Apparently there was a boba tea shortage.
I didn't know about it,
and the way that Bush's decided to respond to that
was to put this recipe out,
and it's got their chickpeas.
And we did a little further digging on Reddit
and found this.
ChunkyPuppyKitty commented
"Someone forward this to GMM. Make Rhett happy."
And then FinalBoi said "He would lose his mind."
- There are the garbanzos down in here,
you just can't see 'em because,
they're obfuscated by the boba.
- [Stevie] This is news to me about the chickpea.
The Bush's chickpea.
- I didn't know they had 'em, I'll be honest with you.
- I thought I was just gonna blow out one chickpea,
and I blew stuff everywhere.
- You had a blowout.
- I blew blue stuff everywhere.
- The problem with this is that you can't get
a chickpea through the straw.
Yes, you can.
- [Link] You did?
- I did, you gotta suck real hard.
- I mean it's a totally different experience than...
- I got two that time.
- The bubbles in the bottom.
But it's not bad, I like a good garbanzo.
- The garbanzo is actually super complementary to this.
- It's earthy.
And it kinda adds to the sense of health and wellbeing
from having this smoothie.
- Can you get one through your straw? I got four now.
- I've been trying and trying, dude.
I think, of course this is so much better than that.
But what did you think, taste sans?
Sans taste?
- Sans taste. - [Stevie] Three, two, one.
- I think this seems like a bigger crime.
- Yeah, but you know what?
I'm gonna change my answer. - [Stevie] 71%
of Mythical Beasts
thought the beans and strawberries
was the bigger food crime.
- 'Cause you've already got the tapioca sorta flavor
in the bottom.
This isn't much of a departure.
And you know what, Bush's Beans,
they can do no wrong in my heart.
(dramatic fanfare)
Quick reminder that Good Mythical Evening is coming up soon,
remember, this is a live, ticketed event,
it's gonna be a lot like GMM but for mature audiences only.
- Ooh, shh...
- Basically,
it's gonna be like nothing we've ever done before,
it's all going down on October 28th,
tickets are on sale now,
get yours at GoodMythicalEvening.com.
- Now, how hard is it to put something good
between two slices of bread?
Apparently harder than I thought.
- Yep.
- Because we have a green olive and Nutella sandwich
facing off against a peanut butter and lime Jell-O sandwich.
- I'm excited!
- How?
- Okay, this green olive and Nutella sandwich,
originally posted in August by TringingError,
with a caption that says
"My friend's choice for breakfast after camping."
I mean, listen.
- I mean, are you back at home,
or is it just the morning of camping?
- Well, it looks like there's some...
- There's dirt.
- There's dirt, yeah, this is camping.
You know, you bring your Nutella, you bring your olives,
you bring your bread.
- And you get desperate. - Now, one notable comment
from Kunon on this post was simply
"Poop from a butt."
I don't know if it looks like this could be poop from a butt
or is this gonna cause poop from a butt.
All I know is I'm gonna slice it,
and I'll make you happy with a diagonal slice.
- [Link] Oh, thank you. - Oh, gosh, I'm about to...
That's a fancy slice, there.
Now, I know you're not excited about this.
- No, not at all.
At least the hard thing's not in the olive anymore, right?
I don't wanna lose a tooth.
- The hard thing, known as the pit?
- I don't like to know things about things
that I don't like to like.
God.
Salty Nutella.
I mean, if you don't like an olive, and it's in anything,
you gonna know it.
You're not gonna like it. - Okay,
something interesting is happening here.
Almost like a mole situation,
the way that the chocolate
and the super savoriness of the olive's mixing together,
like, I didn't think I would like this,
even though I like olives.
I don't like it, and I wouldn't do it,
but while camping, the standards are so different.
- I do get that.
- You don't know if you're gonna make it home.
- Right.
Maybe you've lost a limb.
- Not as bad as I thought it was gonna be.
But this...
- [Link] I gotta say, I don't think it was as bad
as I thought it would be, either.
- Well chocolate covers a world of hurt,
we already knew that.
- It does, man.
Posted on Reddit
by someone whose username is not safe for work,
but let's just say it's...
- But we're not at work.
- Starts with polymer, and the second part starts with P,
and it's technically the name of another word for cat.
- Oh. Technically?
- Yeah.
If this were Good Mythical Evening,
I would just be saying it.
- Over and over.
- And we'd be saying a lot about it.
- Right. I might even be drawing pictures of it.
- But you gotta buy a ticket to that show.
- Who knows what's gonna happen?
- So, that person said "I also noticed in the pic
a dog hair on the right half of the sandwich.
I definitely ate that."
So, do we have a dog hair?
- [Nicole] You have it on both sides of the sandwich.
- I thought you were gonna say "No."
- [Nicole] No, you guys are special.
- And where did this dog hair come from?
- Oh, I see it right there.
See that? - [Rhett] Whose dog?
- [Link] It's just sticking out.
- [Dog Owner] My dog, Parker.
- Parker.
(Rhett laughs)
Parker.
- Is Parker still with us?
Because the way you said it,
you said it like Parker was only a memory.
- [Dog Owner] I just,
Parker makes me feel nice things.
- I mean, I guess I should eat it,
because that's part of it.
- [Nicole] I have extras.
- [Rhett] No, no, no, it's okay.
- [Nicole] No, no, no, I have extras.
- [Rhett] No, no, it's okay.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Dog Owner] Parker likes to lick my feet.
- How did you harvest these hairs?
- [Nicole] Don't worry about it.
- [Link] That's a long one. Here you go.
- I'm not eating that!
- It's just a dog hair, you eat 'em all the time.
Jelly and Jell-O, very similar,
I can see where this could happen, sans dog hair.
That's my catchword today, sans.
- A late night, just reading error.
- Bink it, bang it.
Parker.
- I don't taste Parker at all.
It's actually not bad.
- [Link] This is pretty good.
- I like the fact that it feels colder than jelly.
- And I bet you you liked it, too.
Let's vote.
- [Stevie] Three, two, one.
- I mean this has gotta,
so many people don't like olives,
it's gotta be this. - You gotta know
this is bad, right?
- [Stevie] I mean,
I don't know if we advertised the hair part
of the other sandwich to be fair,
but 72% of Mythical Beasts
thought that the green olive and Nutella sandwich
was the bigger food crime.
- We got your number on this round.
- Yeah, we know you.
- Pick up.
(dramatic fanfare)
- Okay, it's anybody's game going into this final round,
how you feeling about this one?
- Not great.
I feel like it's targeted directly at me,
and I don't like it.
- I can see that.
- We got microwaved scallops,
cooked with blue cheese crumbles,
canned spinach, canned mushrooms,
hot dogs, eggs, and Italian dressing.
- How, why?
- Versus tomato pudding on a bed of sauerkraut.
- Mm.
- Some nasty seafood stuff and blue cheese
versus some sorta tomato thing.
I hate it, let's eat 'em.
- Okay, this was originally posted by thepsycholeech.
I think they posted it, they had made it a long time ago
in 2014, said "Don't remember how it tasted."
And then sorrycard commented
"They don't remember how it tastes
because they probably blacked out
after the first two bites,"
and I can tell you by just the smell alone,
I might enjoy some of the things in this, but the thought,
and buddy, you're gonna need a spoon for this one.
Your fork is not gonna cut it.
I'm gonna get, I got hot dog, I got a mushroom,
is that a piece of pineapple?
- There's also, they called it pop spinach?
- What is that?
- [Nicole] Yeah, so there was a little bit of a debate
in the Mythical Kitchen, and,
some people said that it's like spinach from a can,
like Popeye's brand spinach,
and some people said that it's like soda pop and spinach?
- No, it's just, I just think it's just spinach.
- [Nicole] You think so?
Taste it, let me know.
- What, did you put soda in it?
- It doesn't matter if you did or not.
I though that that was pineapple, but that's the scallop.
- Yeah.
- [Stevie] It looks like a little bit of Parker
carried over to this one.
- And there's also Parker hair.
- I don't think Parker would eat this.
- Oh my gosh.
Oh, gosh!
Oh, gosh, that's horrible!
- I'm Food Batman.
I'm Food Batman.
- Let me cover that up with some...
- I hate myself right now.
- Tomato pudding, what is it?
- Maybe this is better?
Tomato pudding on a bed of sauerkraut.
Apparently tomato pudding is a southern dish,
because it was featured in the magazine Southern Living
and Garden and Gun.
- Oh, Garden and Gun?
- For real.
- Ah, that's my favorite magazine.
- Never had it, though.
But this was made and posted on...
Reddit.
By a German.
That's why there's sauerkraut.
I mean, that's what they said.
Some sort of paste. - This doesn't seem bad to me.
And you don't really mind tomato flavor things
as much as you don't like tomatoes.
- Anything to cover that up.
Doesn't cover it up, it just complicated it.
- That's not bad.
- I mean, I didn't spit it up.
But I'm not going in for four, like you are.
- I kinda like it.
- All right, clearly this is worse,
which did we think would be worse,
and it all comes down to this.
With escalating points, I can still win.
- You can still win.
- [Stevie] Three, two, one.
- I mean this has to be, come on,
but don't you wanna just make it interesting?
- No, I wanna win.
- 'Cause I have to eat something nasty
if I lose? - Yeah. Yeah.
- Are you afraid of that?
- Yeah.
- You're scared?
- Yeah.
- You're a scared little boy?
- I am a scared little boy.
- You're literally shaking in your boots?
- Shaking right in my boots.
- Oh, you wanna call your mommy?
- Yeah, I'm butt dialing her right now.
- All you gotta do is change this
and you have a chance. - That's mine.
- [Stevie] Did you say you were butt dialing her right now?
- Yeah, I have a thing
that if I clench my right butt cheek only,
it dials my mom.
- [Stevie] 75% of the Mythical Beasts
thought that the Microwaved Scallop Surprise
was the bigger food crime.
- All right, Nicole, bring in my super food crime,
what the crap is this?
- [Nicole] That's a Protein Blaster 5000.
- Oh. I've heard of that.
- [Nicole] No you haven't, 'cause I made it.
- Protein Blaster 5000.
- What's in it?
- [Nicole] So it's bananas, protein powder, and mayonnaise.
- [Link] Pump up. - [Rhett] Mayonnaise!
- I'll be drinking this in Good Mythical More.
- Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell.
- You know what time it is.
- My name is Lucy from Boston, Massachusetts,
and I love umeboshi.
It's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- She's suffering.
She's suffering, Link, she doesn't want to admit it.
- (indistinct) come around.
- Click the top link to watch us pick the worst,
or maybe the best black licorice-flavored candy
in Good Mythical More.
- And to find out
where the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land.
Tickets are on sale now for Good Mythical Evening,
the live, mature audiences only event
happening on October 28th.
Get yours at GoodMythicalEvening.com.