Have you ever wanted to be more in control? Have you ever felt like everyone was against you
no matter what you were doing? Or, have you ever felt that you can't command respect without being
a bad person? Today I'm going to teach you how to command and obtain genuine respect from people.
So, what I'm about to teach you works phenomenally well in groups. For example,
if you have a friend group and you feel like you deserve more respect in the group,
you will know how to get it. Another great example is when you're at a dinner table,
and everyone is talking, or even in your class, at high school, or college. At the end of this video,
you will have the required knowledge to command genuine respect.
Don't Be Emotional
Yes, you heard me right. Stop being so emotional about it. You can't expect people to respect
you if you get very emotional about every little thing. I've seen this happen daily
when I was in high school. People would make groups, and someone was always made fun of.
Some were almost bullied, but luckily, some would step up for themselves.
However, there was this guy, Mark, that was never seriously trying to command respect.
He was being resentful and disrespectful. He was very upset and emotional,
he started telling everyone that he hated them, and then he left
our school. Do you think that our respect for him went up after this? Of course not.
You have to understand that being disrespected doesn't come from a place of hatred, it's just
a misinterpretation of social situations. There's a difference between being bullied
and being made fun of in a friendly manner. The first comes from a place of self-doubt and hatred,
the latter comes from how social life works, which is normal, and can be changed.
So now, let's look at some ways you can command respect.
Number 1 - Stop Caring
This might not sound right, but in order to gain respect, you need to stop
caring about being respected. You see, if everything shakes you (from a little
joke to blatant rudeness). It's just like with girls. Very often girls are
more attracted to men that have abundance in their life, that aren't desperate after her.
You need to stop lying to yourself, you do not need anyone's respect. You do things your way,
and very often it might be time to change your environment. If you can't see a way out,
it is very likely that the people you currently associate with aren't positive in your life.
This might not be the case, it depends on what your goal is,
but if you feel negativity around your friends, it's probably time to move on.
Fyodor Dostoevsky said: "Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens
to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him,
and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.".
A great way to stop caring is to have too much cool stuff in your life to even care.
This will give you confidence, and will change your attitude.
If you find yourself procrastinating often, just do more stuff.
Set some goals, and work on them. People perceive this, and if you are too busy to
care about people's disrespect, you are going to get it. People will start seeing you as scarce.
You aren't always available because you have a lot going on, and if they aren't careful they might
lose you. This will even give you more power in relationships. See how this has many consequences?
You just need to have direction in life, set goals, and be passionate about what you're doing.
As Michael Bassey Johnson said, "If you truly want to be respected by people you love,
you must prove to them that you can survive without them."
Number 2 - Self-Confidence
Gaining self-confidence is, basically, respecting yourself. I could give you a lot of tips to fake
confidence, but that doesn't really make sense. People can tell the difference between real
confidence and fake confidence. You need to look for a way to seriously become more confident.
First of all, you should stop negative self-talk and forgive yourself for your mistakes. When
you make a mistake, acknowledge it, and move on. There's literally no point in beating yourself up,
it will just put you in a passive, negative position.
Be honest with yourself, analyze your mistake, and plan a comeback.
Very often people will treat you the same way that you feel about yourself. With this in mind,
do you want everyone to feel sorry for you, and to see you as a weak person that doesn't take action?
Start being an asset, start doing stuff, and I guarantee you
that your self-confidence will go up. Also, practice positive self-talk and optimism.
Number 3 - Stop Gossiping Too Much & Talking People Down
A confident person does not talk other people down. Also, they don't waste too
much of their time criticizing others and talking about others. You must obviously
respect people if you expect them to respect you too, so just mind your own business.
A good exercise for this is to always act like the person you're talking about
is right there with you, and listening to what you're saying. This is a very important trait,
especially the ability to tell people what you really think in a respectful manner.
Not everyone has the courage and common sense to do that. If you stand your ground respectfully,
you will be seen as strong, and more people will follow and listen to you.
Talking people down and hating them also is a sign of insecurity and weakness. Whenever someone
else is hating on you and criticizing your every move, don't respond with anger. Understand that it
comes from a place of insecurity, fear, or pain. People that often do this don't have a good life,
and they feel lonely in their misery, so they want to drag other people down with them.
Number 4 - Workout Regularly And Practice Martial Arts
This is very important, yet I haven't seen it a lot on YouTube. You see, having the confidence
and courage to say things in the face of people is risky: it could easily escalate
to a conflict. The thing is, most people don't do this because they're afraid of confrontation.
Saying things publicly and exposing the truth for what it is will help you earn the respect
of those who agree with you but are afraid to say it. Working out has proven beneficial to your body
and mind, and will improve your confidence. Martial arts will improve your discipline
and confidence to the point that you can handle confrontations if they escalate.
And I'm not saying this so that you go around picking fights with random people on the street,
it's a matter of becoming the alpha in a group. When you say
something that no one else has the courage to say,
you put yourself in a position of power, and the most powerful subject usually leads the pack.
Number 5 - Non-Negotiable Moral Code
This has a lot to do with standing your ground and having the courage to stand by your opinions
even when everyone is against you. Having a list of non-negotiables will give you the clarity and
power to know when someone has crossed the line and does not deserve your attention or respect.
Your moral code is a list of behaviors that you find acceptable, unacceptable, and necessary.
You need to ask yourself questions like: What do I believe in?
What's the maximum amount of disrespect that I am willing to take from others?
Why do I do what I do?
Number 6 - Bring Something To The Table
To earn respect in important relationships in your life, you need to add value to whatever
you are doing. In the economy, the concept of value is extremely important. In order to get
people's attention, you need to somehow add value. If you provide value before you ask for anything,
you give people proof that you know what you're doing.
This will increase chances of getting what you want from people. Providing value first
will also generate reciprocity, which is a persuasion concept that Robert
Cialdini talks about in his book. It's very important, and it will help you gain
people's respect with kindness instead of with fear, so I'll explain it to you quickly.
The concept of reciprocity in persuasion is when you do a favour to someone, and that someone feels
the need to pay you back with another favour. This works every time, and not just at a conscious
level. It can work at a distance of weeks, months, and even years if the favour is important enough.
People will have a sort of debt in their mind that they need to repay,
so they're more likely to do you favours when you ask for them after you've done something for them.
Number 7 - Talk Less, Listen More
When my friend used to work in sales at a marketing agency, he had a mentor.
He taught him everything about selling over the phone, and he explained to him
one of the most important differences between (high-ticket service providers),
and those call centres that call you for a "special offer".
Those call centres call you and basically bombard you with a list of offers and numbers
and then ask you to make a purchase decision. And that just doesn't work. His mentor taught him to
ask clever questions, to understand a person, their problem, and how he could help them.
Listen to what people are saying, and try to understand them and where they're coming from.
Another good example of great listening is Jordan peterson. Whenever he is debating something, he
listens very closely to whoever he's debating. He often even admits that an argument is very strong,
and he isn't constantly trying to put the other person in an inferior position.
This earns him respect and credibility, as only a strong person is capable of admitting the flaws of
his or her arguments. This will also help you control your emotions and stop overreacting.
You should look at the bigger picture, and think strategically.
This means that you have to see problems as a series of steps to be taken in order to solve
the issue. Problems aren't confusion, problems are challenges, and you need to accept them
and think logically. For example, let's say you want to buy a 50 thousand dollars car, but you
don't even have the money for a down payment on that, let alone the credibility to purchase it.
So, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to think "okay,
what are the logical steps that I need to take in order to make this happen?"
See how easy this is? All these skills and concepts will put you in a position of power,
and it will naturally make you the leader, and people will follow and respect you.
So, thank you all so much for watching and before you go,
remember to subscribe to the channel, and leave a like for that YouTube algorithm.
With that being said, have a great day and see you all in the next one!