(instrumental holiday music)
- Mm.
(sighs)
(bells clanging)
- Well frost my toes.
Who could that be?
- I don't know.
(door opens)
Talario.
What a surprise.
- Talario?
- Greetings, mother and father.
Long have been the hours of my journey
to arrive here for Christmas.
- What the fudge are you wearing?
- Oh, these are my iron silk robes.
Light as a feather, but strong...
- You look ridiculous is what I'm saying.
- Jingle!
- He does!
You ever seen an elf wear something like this before?
No tights, there's no bells.
That long cape, that'll get stuck
in a toy machine for sure.
Your former lets you wear that?
- Okay, all the elves in Calandale wear iron silk, Dad.
- If you can call them real elves.
- Wow.
- Tell us all about Calandale, how is everything there?
- Oh mom, it's honestly great.
The shining jewel of the east,
where a multitude of voices rise to
sing the secrets of the world to the fires.
- So loud.
- You still in that little hut?
- Hut, for real?
- That expensive little hut, last time we saw you.
- Ah yes, dwelling the house of the crescent moon
if that is what you mean.
- It's much cheaper to live here.
There's a gingerbread house for sale on Bubblegum Way,
it only costs three songs.
- Well, mom, it sounds great honestly.
But you know.
Then I'd have to live here.
- And what's wrong with living here?
- It's small and it's quite cold.
And everybody that lives here has to work for Santa Claus.
- Has to?
Gets to!
That's good honest elf work there.
What do you do in the big city, huh?
- What do I do?
- What do you do?
- I forge fallen stars into the blades of champions!
I whisper in champions into the shields,
the realms of man.
- You make money off of that?
- Jingle.
- I'm curious, I don't understand.
Do people pay for that?
- You know, maybe I don't make a toymaker's salary, Dad.
But at least I'm not a slave to a fat human.
(gasps)
- Oh no, no.
What do you say?
You do not talk about Santa like that,
not under this roof, you hear me?
- I'm sure he didn't mean it.
- I did mean it Mom, Santa is a dark wizard
who has enslaved the heaps of elves.
- No, you're wrong.
You take that back.
- We don't have to talk politics.
- Santa is a good man, he gave us dignity
and he gave us jobs, alright?
You could learn a thing or two from him,
like how to make a wooden train, for one.
Or a dolly?
I bet you can't even do a merry jig.
Huh huh huh?
Can you do a merry jig?
Can you Tolario?
Huh?
You know this song.
Tra la la la la la la la la.
We are Santa's elves, tra la la la la la.
We are Santa's elves.
- Jingle, let's not do this.
- What?
Come on, you're an elf, start acting like one.
- I don't think it's a mystery
that I have never enjoyed jigging.
- No.
No you didn't, did you?
You never cared for jigging, it was always
the ancient magic business, or the secret Lord that.
You couldn't just be a normal elf.
- Whoa, okay, hold up.
Hold up, hold up.
What is a normal elf to you?
- I'm a normal elf.
- That's super racist.
- Hm?
Oh, I guess everything's racist now.
- Chi elves, North Pole elves, wood elves, blood elves?
- No no no, you get out.
You get out, you hear me?
Get out, go back to your roads and your tree spirits.
- Jokes on you Dad, because roads
and tree spirits kick ass.
- No it's weird.
It's weird, you should be offended by that.
- I'm going to see what my high school friends are up to.
I received a message from Chad and T-Bone,
by raven that they were going to
hang out at Cumby's later and do whippets.
- No, they're at the workshop.
They're at the workshop, where you should be too!
- Alright, I think I'm just gonna get my bow and head out.
- Torario, please stay.
You only just got here.
I'm sure Jingle's sorry.
- I'm not.
- Before I go, a single gift in parting.
A flower of the sun at dawn, may shine a light for you
when all seems lost and merciless.
- Aw.
You didn't even wrap it!