Hey everybody
My name is Qcknd and
Today's video is going to be about my friend Morgan Joyce
So I actually started to make this video a week ago
And I kind of couldn't so I know like a lot of people
Are asking me to make a response to Morgan's video and I tried to start it today and I can't so I will try
Another time. I wanted to collect my thoughts and I wrote down some notes a green pen. So I can't read them
But today's video is going to be a response to
Morgan's video where she talks about how she regrets her tattoos if you haven't seen it my friend Morgan
she's pretty heavily tattooed, and she
Made a video talking about how she regrets her tattoos and how tattoo regret is real
I just wanted to kind of walk through my thoughts on this even on her video
someone had mentioned that I have made videos like this before when some people were like
Can you talk about this and it is an interesting?
Phenomenon of course, and I have talked about having a hard time
Dealing with being tattooed
but for the most part I kind of hold back because there's definitely
A lot of resistance and I want to push back
I feel personally when I make comments like this
So I generally kind of don't so I was pretty excited
That Morgan made this video the video starts off where Morgan says, you know
She's kind of stuck with her tattoos and the decisions that she's made being a heavily tattooed person
The decision she made while she was young or going to be with her for the rest of her life and right away
She opens up and she said I would need tattoo removal for the rest of my life and it's very interesting
I follow a tattoo removal Instagram. I've had tattoo removal done by this person
they had recently posted this thing all about large pieces and the success of removal for large pieces and
In their blog posts they talked about how they do not recommend getting large pieces removed
Reading that the other day days before Morgan posted this video
Kind of did sit with me weird because you do realize that you don't have options
It is one of those things where you feel helpless because your options are very very very limited having tattoo removal
especially at a scale of Morgan's or even mine is very very very limiting and
Morgan has a big chest piece that I can say in full confidence that she can't have complete removal on and when
faced with a situation like that where you don't have options I could see it being very upsetting very anxiety inducing and
Morgan has actually reached out to me before we made a video earlier this year kind of like a podcast
Sit-down kind of video talking about our beginnings and like our journey into social media and later in that week Morgan texted me
and she was like we should make a video together where we talk about the differences between her and I
Me being someone who can cover their tattoos and her some who can't and I loved that idea
I was like, yes Morgan come through but I don't drive so it didn't really happen and I feel bad
But it can definitely happen now because I want that video and I want to people who consider themselves heavily tattooed
to have that conversation
But with that information like knowing that Morgan was having those feelings months ago
You know being tattooed in a way where for the majority of the time where I live in, Pennsylvania
I can be
Pretty much covered and I still do battle with the fact that I have tattoos that I can't remove and tattoos that I have forever
And in a world where everything is an option
Like is that difficult to swallow that with our bodies as tattoo people. We don't really have options anymore
I'm a big advocate for tattoo removal. My friend Polonius is not so it is interesting to see
to interact with somebody who doesn't believe what I believe and then have Morgan who I fully support and
Also am actively seeking tattoo removal in this very moment. So it's definitely difficult
but even if Morgan went down a path to get 12 sessions of tattoo removal as a model
It's not really an option for her now. I wonder because I've seen the MTV true life
I'm getting my tattoos removed and that guy gets like all of his tattoo removal. I just watched a documentary on Amazon
That was like okay about tattoo removal
I would say that there were success stories in that documentary
but with that blog post that larger tattoos do not have a high success of being removed completely and that they don't
Remem that you seek removal more of some light removal with the intention of cover-up. So
Tattoos are always going to be there
So there's this thing in tattoo community or even an alternative lifestyle where?
People tell you you're going to regret that
I've been hearing it my whole life for some reason like when I first dyed my hair and you're going to regret that my first
Piercings like regret regret regret. I heard it. So often growing up that it didn't it wasn't loud enough anymore
I heard it everywhere
And for me getting tattooed was just like another you're gonna regret that hearing it everywhere all the time
So I started getting tattooed and started getting piercings and having second thoughts or feeling weird
and for example, I took out my piercing so I could get a better job and
I felt backlash and the backlash came from both sides
so you're like
where's your support system the backlash came from pierced people and the backlash came from people who felt very
Satisfied that I took my piercings out because they were waiting for me to regret them
and it put me in this really weird situation where I didn't have a support system so I had to like
rely on myself, which isn't always like
my strongest support like
Especially when I'm down relying on myself is tough
So with tattoos, I can only imagine it feeling the same exact way
Even when I had my earlobes reconstructed, which has brought me only
satisfaction
when I had them done the person who did them amazing would die for
but there was someone in the shop who was like now you won't be cool anymore and
I didn't know him personally. So I don't know if he was being funny or serious. I'm that way
I feel like people don't know when I'm being funny or serious, but I remember in my experience
I took that with me. I took the fact that he said now you're not gonna be cool anymore
because I was having my ear lobe sewn up and that was
Somebody who you know, I could have walked into that shop and bought jewelry and been cool to him
So when you relate that to Morgan Morgan story
It's really daunting because you get it from both sides
Tattooed people don't want you to get removal because you're stuck with it
And you know your whole life all of these people
Everyone has been telling you that you're going to regret it and you've had to pick your battles your whole life
Are you gonna regret dropping out of school? Are you going to regret moving to the city?
are you gonna regret this and that like all along so picking your battles if you chose to be tattooed, it's just another thing that
You may or may not be faced with regret one thing. I did want to touch on though watching Morgan's video
At least when I was younger and I started getting tattooed
I was kind of surrounded by people also going through the same thing as me at a tattoo puberty if you will
Getting small tattoos figuring out how to get tattoos tattooing themselves in their home dyeing their hair pink and blue and piercing their nose
themselves
When you're in that community all of your decisions felt, right because you are surrounded by people figuring themselves out as well
And then we get older
I'm a little bit older than Morgan and you lose that system that you are in that encouraged you to modify your body
And it's being from my experience
I don't get to hang out with a lot of tattooed people which often
Makes me feel like I want to fit in with the people around me conscious or subconscious
I want to blend into the group that I'm in almost is just like a nice
Homeostasis like you spend time with someone you pick up their mannerisms you pick up their lexicon
You start dressing like them Rosie and I our crock squad. You lose that
When you're not around tattooed people and I feel this heavy too because there's no vegans in my group Morgan and I have said this
Painfully, so if we lived closer together
we would go to t.j.maxx together and hang out and there would be strength in our
Relationship and I'm sure that just seeing each other would offer some sort of validation that isn't in our lives
I know that Morgan is very popular
But I also know that she lives in a place where she has to drive like a suburb that can be really isolating
Especially when you stand out, you know
We want to be in our communities and when you feel like you're not a part of your community
You naturally just feel ostracized and I might be speaking, you know for myself
but I had this live stream a few weeks ago where I talked about going to the Poconos and I felt very
Like I felt like I was standing out a lot and I felt like I didn't have any support
Because my boyfriend is not tattooed and I just felt like it was the world against me
instead of the world against us and I even said like if it was Morgan and I walking around that Walmart and
Morgan probably wearing like a pink fashion Nova bodysuit and me looking like
Kurt Cobain hobo I would have felt like a million bucks
I would have felt like it was us against Walmart
but with just my boyfriend there if it kind of just felt like I was the Freak if that's
Something I denoted to myself or something that I've you know experienced
It is tough when it's just you even this year Morgan and I went out to restaurant together and we got our own
table and we were laughing and we were loud and we ordered everything and it just felt like
Cool, but without that you don't have that confidence like you don't have that squad to back you up
Especially if your partner isn't tattooed if your friends aren't tattooed
and it's tough because as you get older you surround yourself with the people like I've found I have really good relationships with like
freelancers or like people who work from home or have
schedules because I have an on schedule so I can only imagine for Morgan how
Even more tough. It is to find somebody who she can have a relationship when outside of that
I think another reason why as I get older have thoughts about regret and have different things like that is when I was younger my
Tattoos were definitely a big form of self-expression
They are currently they really are one thing that I think about a lot is when I started getting tattooed
I didn't have a ton of money. So I would put money into tattoos because I knew it was forever
And I knew it was an investment in myself and I knew no one could take it away
and that was my story and now I have just so much more confidence and
Strength in public speaking all the time
I wish that I had this ability when I was younger to be outgoing but it's like I learned the word shy and like
Completely acclimated my life to it. I was like shy that's me in every aspect. Let me read up on it. Yeah, that's me
I guess and then I got older and I felt more confident and I'm able to express myself
Verbally a lot better than I ever was
so I think you know even Morgan has talked about becoming more confident and
I think that's tough because I grew up with zero confidence. I
Happily said that I had Ugly Duckling syndrome until I was like 25, and I know that there's different
Relationships and studies that say that your brain is fully developed by 25 which just like makes me sad
Because I've just found more acceptance
Did you just break something if that's why McDonald's glasses? I?
Just found so much more self-acceptance in who I am
Now being able to communicate and maybe it's from retail from talking from YouTube
I bet I think my tattoos were definitely
something I used to speak for me before I confidently could and I wonder if
Morgan is experiencing that as well. Finally I want to talk about the effect of
tattoos and social media and I think I could go in depth with this a lot further and
Dedicate an entire video to it. And I also think I've talked about it before so you might recognize some of the language
I'm going to use tattoos and social media have
Exploded when we view things online
Our mind is open and we're absorbing all of this stuff and sometimes you're not even
Taking in things you agree with or things you believe or your own organic thoughts
You just adopt the thoughts of other people sometimes, you know, I do wonder how much social media has changed
tattoos and getting tattooed and
Having access to viewing tattooed people and I get messages from people that really you helped me get tattooed
And I'm happy, you know, I've put out
hundreds of videos
To help people get tattooed. I think that social media has
Really just kick-started the entire process from sitting on your couch
I'm finding the best tattoo artists, too
Narrowing down exactly how you want your tattoos to look too
literally photoshopping tattoos on your body and printing it out and bring it to a person like this is
crazy
Pinterest Instagram
I started getting tattoos before I had access to Instagram before I had access to tattoos over the internet I do
wonder how tattooed I would have been if that process was so slow and
Like a whole day and like it's huge
Grinding process and I would have probably only had one tattoo
artist and what I'm trying to say is social media has made this process like so much faster streamlined if you will and
Morgan and I are children of social media have tattoos on my body
right now that I got because
Meditech toward us on social or
Loved their work and then got the tattoo and now I don't have any feelings about it or feelings of regret
It sucks because another layer of it is I don't want to offend anybody by getting tattoos
Because my body is so public even Morgan like you're such a public figure
That you're almost like not allowed to make mistakes. I think Morgan's video is brave and these are my thoughts on it
I haven't made a personal video for a long time and I do feel bad
Losing that connection with you guys. So I thought you know, this would be a nice step to kind of open up my heart and
kind of just like
Process what's going on with my friend Morgan? I've said it before
Morgan's never left me on read
She has always been a really amazing friend to me. But I think everything she said was really human and
something
It was hard for me to watch because it was just hard for some like like I said
It's hard to like watch your friend just like go through something. I absolutely
Am NOT sitting here and saying that I don't regret tattoos that I have because I do I've expressed it in one way or another
Over variety of different videos because all I ever want to do is be honest with you guys
I do have a hard time sometimes finding the language that expresses regret without the
Life-long idea that regret is permanent, and that regret is forever because I can regret what I had for breakfast
But I wake up the next day and do it again and I can regret wearing shorts to the Poconos Walmart
but then I get to see my friend and we're badass the other at the restaurant having tattoos is
tough and
We're the first
Generation to document how we feel every day all the time in every situation?
sometimes I call it Twitter brain where
like five things will happen to me in a row and I'm like
I got a tweet everyone and I'm like that's Twitter brain. Like that's just let things happen
Not every barista likes you. Shut up
this is the very very very first time and I'm happy to be a part of it and then
My thoughts to you on the tattoo scene
Anyway, I love you guys so much hate to ask you to subscribe on a serious video
But if you wanna I also make hundreds of tattoo videos and fashion videos check them out
Anyway, I love you guys
Bye