>> Greg: HAPPY TUESDAY.
LET’S TALK ABOUT THE ROYAL
FAMILY.
[LAUGHTER]
NOT DUMB, I KEEP FORGETTING THAT
THIS FOX NEWS.
I MEAN THE BRITISH ROYAL FAMILY,
SPECIFICALLY TO FORMER ROYAL
MEMBERS.
I SHOULD AVOID SAYING THAT
AROUND PRESENTS ANDREW.
ANYWAY, ONE OF THE MUTANT
OFFSPRING SET UP WITH THE U.N.
AND ON IT.
BUT I GUESS IF YOU’RE GOING TO
TAKE ONE, THEN THERE IS NO PLACE
BETTER THAN [BLEEP].
I WONDER IF CLIMATE CHANGE IS
WREAKING HAVOC ON A PLANET WITH
THE MOST VULNERABLE SUFFERING
MOST OF ALL.
>> CLIMATE CHANGE AS WE CAN HAVE
MAKE ON A PLANET WITH THE MOST
VULNERABLE SUFFERING MOST OF ALL
ALL.
LIES AND DISINFORMATION AT THE
EXPENSE OF THE MONEY, AND THE
HORRIFIC WAR IN UKRAINE TO THE
ROLLING BACK OF CONSTITUTIONAL
RIGHT HERE IN THE UNITED STATES,
WE ARE WITNESSING A GLOBAL
ASSAULT ON DEMOCRACY AND
FREEDOM.
EVEN THOUGH THIS FIRST BALL
BECAUSE THE ROLLING BACK OF
CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS IN THE
U.S. AS GLOBAL ATTACK ON
DEMOCRACY.
IT’S LIKE STANDING IN FRONT OF
AN AUDITORIUM OF HIGH SCHOOL
STUDENTS THINK MARIJUANA SHOULD
BE LEGAL EVERYWHERE NO MORE
HOMEWORK.
SERIOUSLY, IS A SPEAKER JOB
INTERVIEW.
YOU WANT TO INGRATIATE YOURSELF
TO THE WORLD’S DIAMONDS TO DRAFT
YOUR OWN COUNTRY, FINE.
YOU PICKED THE RIGHT COUNTRY.
AMERICA WILL ACTUALLY PUT UP
WITH YOUR DESPERATE NEED FOR
ATTENTION AND THAT IS.
AND COMPARE THEM TO THE
KARDASHIANS BUT THAT WOULD BE AN
INSULT TO PEOPLE WHO TAKE
PICTURES OF THE BUTTS.
SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT HIM OR
THEM?
NOT REALLY, BUT WHAT ELSE YOU
WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
WHAT KIM JONG UN’S BENCH
PRESSING FOR THE PRICE OF
BUBBLEGUM CIGARS?
HOW ABOUT VULTURES.
DENOTING A DANGEROUS DECLINE OF
VULTURE POPULATIONS, WHICH COULD
LEAD TO THE SPREAD OF DEADLY
DISEASES LIKE THE PLAGUE AND
RABIES.
WHICH IS GOOD BECAUSE I’M TIRED
OF EVERYTHING BEING MADE IN
CHINA.
VULTURES ARE VITAL BY EATING
CORPSES, WHICH HELPS KEEP
ECOSYSTEMS AND PATHOGENS IN
CHECK, NOT TO MENTION A GREAT
WAY TO HIDE EVIDENCE, RIGHT,
KAT?
SO IN TERMS OF THE PLANET,
VULTURES DO WAY MORE GOOD THAN
PRINCE HARRY.
ERIC AND FLY AROUND THE GLOBE,
LECTURING US ON CLIMATE IS THE
HUB THAT, BUT A FLOCK OF
VULTURES CAN PICK UP DEAD PATH
ARE CLEAN BEFORE HE CAN EVEN GET
HIS BIB ON.
SO IS THAT A FAIR COMPARISON,
THE PRINCE AND A VULTURE?
WHY NOT?
ONE FEEDS FROM THE DEAD, THE
OTHER FEEDS OF THE BRAIN DEAD.
TO REMIND YOU THAT AMERICA TRULY
IS THE LAND OF OPPORTUNITY FOR
OPPORTUNIST, ESPECIALLY FOR THE
PEOPLE WHO GAME THE SYSTEM
THROUGH BOOK DRAMATICS.
YOU WANT TO MAKE A BUCK, JUST TAKE UP THE OLD OPERATION
TAKE UP THE OLD OPERATION
THEATER AND LET IT RIP, LIKE
AFTER CHIPOTLE.
ANYONE CAN DO IT, INCLUDING
ADOBE PRINTS WITH HAIR THAT
LOOKS LIKE A BRILLO PAD USED TO
GET RUST OFF IN ARMCHAIR.
I SHOULD INVITE HIM OVER TO
SCRUB MY PARTS.
I KID, I DON’T SCRUB PARTS.
I LET THE LITTLE LADY DO THAT.
>> SEXIST.
STEPHEN TERRIBLE STUFF.
THE MEDIA LOVES TO BRUTALLY
ELEVATE LIKE A OSSIAN
MICHAEL AVENATTI EXCEPT IN THIS
CASE, HE GETS FAVORED STATUS
BECAUSE HE IS A PRINCE.
THAT’S IT PERIODS PRINCE HARRY
BEMOANING PRIVILEGES LIKE AMBER
HEARD COMPLAINING THERE’S IN HER
BED.
IS THE FACE OF ENTITLEMENT.
AND NOW EASIER [BLEEP] ON AS.
IF IT’S SO BAD, WHY THE HILL DID
HE MOVE YOUR?
THIS GREAT BADMOUTH US TO A
BUNCH OF CLOWNS WHILE HIS WIFE
MINDLESSLY NOT LIKE AN AUDIENCE
MEMBER AT A TAPING OF "THE VIEW
HE SOMEHOW BELIEVES THIS
CARTOONISH WOKE-ISM CANNABIS IS
ROYAL STAIN.
HE IS REPLACING HIS CROWN WITH A
[BLEEP].
WE CAN LIVE THAT IN THERE.
IT’S ONE WORD, IT’S AN ACTUAL
THING.
LOOK IT UP.
I WAS SPEAKING TO THE PRODUCER.
IF YOU BELIEVE BEING ROYALTY WAS
CUTTING IN LINE, THEN WHY COME
IN HERE AND GOT IN LINE AGAIN?
IF HE HATES STATUS, HE WOULD
HAVE STAYED IN HIS COUNTRY, START WITH THE TEETH.
START WITH THE TEETH.
BECOME A DENTIST.
INSTEAD OF REJECTING THE
ENTITLEMENT OF ROYALTY, YOU
EXCHANGE IT FOR THE AMERICAN
VERSION, CELEBRITY ROYALTY WITH
YOUR SNEEZING WIFE.
YOU DO THE U.N. DESERVE EACH
OTHER.
YOUR TROUBLE, WHICH COMBINES
THROW UP AN COUPLE.
FACT IS, HARRY MARRYING AN
AMERICAN DOESN’T MAKE YOU
AMERICAN.
NEITHER DOES CRITICIZING AMERICA
WITH YOUR UNDERGRAD NOTIONS OF
GLOBAL AFFAIRS IN TOTAL
IGNORANCE OF OUR COUNTRY.
JUST MAKE YOU EMBARRASSING IN
TWO COUNTRIES, NOT JUST ONE.
JUST LIKE JAMES GORDON.
I DON’T KNOW.
WAS NOT WORTH IT?
FACT IS ROYAL IS A BETTER.
GEORGE BRETT, BRAD SABERHAGEN.
DAD, THE DUKE OF WINDSOR AND
BARRY.
TALK ABOUT REAL ROYALS, AND THEY
NEVER MARRIED THEIR COUSINS.
THAT WE KNOW OF.
AT LEAST IT DIDN’T SAY THAT ON
THE BACK OF MY BASEBALL CARD.
MAYBE IT’S NOT HARRY’S CARD FOR
BEING STUPID.
IT’S THE FIRST THING WE DID
AFTER WE KICKED THEIR BUTTS IN
THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION. EMBRACE THE SECOND AMENDMENT,
EMBRACE THE SECOND AMENDMENT,
NOT YOUR SECOND COUSIN.
ASKED HIM TO TAKE THE WHEEL.
MOST OF THE ADAM COROLLA SHOW
AND AUTHOR OF THE GREAT NEW BOOK
"EVERYTHING REMINDS ME OF
SOMETHING"."
ADAM COROLLA.
SHE IS SO SHARP I CAN GO RUNNING
WITH.
FORMER STATE DEPARTMENT
SPOKESWOMAN AND FOUNDER OF POLARIS NATIONAL SECURITY,
POLARIS NATIONAL SECURITY,
MORGAN ORTAGUS.
AND BLACK CATS CONSIDER BEING
HER A SIGN OF BAD LUCK, FOX NEWS
CONTRIBUTOR KAT TIMPF.
AND FINALLY THE SOFTER SLEEPING
BAG, TYRUS.
ADAM, THANK YOU FOR YOUR
MARVELOUS BOOK.
IT’S LIKE YOUR OTHER BOOK IT’S A
FAST AND FUN READ.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Greg: A BREEZY RIDE TO A
SUNNY DAY.
I DON’T KNOW WHY I SAID THAT.
>> YOU JUST SLIP INTO A DOS
COMMERCIAL.
>> Greg: I DID.
>> YOU HAVE THAT NORTH OF FRESH
FEELING?
READ MY BOOK.
>> Greg: HOW DID YOU KNOW I
DIDN’T READ IT?
YOU SAID SOMETHING BEFORE THE
SHOW, BUT I LIKE TO STATE.
YOU HAVE A GUTTURAL RESPONSE TO
PRINCE HARRY, DON’T YOU?
>> I AM BOTHERED BY HIM, BY A
LOT.
WHERE MORE THAN I SHOULD BE
BOTHERED BY HIM BECAUSE I HATE
INGRATITUDE AND INGRATES AND
PEOPLE WHO COME TO THIS COUNTRY
AND BEAT IT UP, AND IT DRIVES ME
INSANE.
ILHAN OMAR DRIVES ME NUTS FOR
THE SAME REASON.
YOU CAME HERE, WE SAVED YOU, WE
PUT OUR HAND OUT AND YOU ARE IN
IT.
THERE IS MORE AND MORE OF THAT
IN THAT COUNTRY AND A DRIVE ME
INSANE, ESPECIALLY FOR A SUPER
ULTRA-PRIVILEGED PEOPLE WHO
DON’T DO JACK SQUAT AND HAVE
NEVER OWNED ANYTHING IN THE
LIGHT.
BY THE WAY, HE’S GOT TO GET THE
WALL TRIM AROUND, GO FULL
KITCHEN STAYS AT THIS POINT.
>> Greg: IT BUGS ME.
THAT BOTHERS ME.
>> MAYBE THAT’S WHY HE HATES
CLIMATE CHANGE SUMMIT,’S GROWING
HIS HAIR UP.
>> Greg: GOT TO DO IT HIS
BROTHER DID.
HE’S GOT THE BALL THING.
MORGAN, YOU HAVE A WEIRD
RELATIONSHIP WITH THE ROYAL
COUPLE, DON’T YOU?
BECAUSE I’VE NEVER MET
PRINCE HARRY.
I DO THINK IT’S PARTICULARLY
STRANGE TO HAVE A SPEECH ABOUT
NELSON MANDELA, TO HAVE A WHITE
GUY, WHITE PRINCE REMEMBERS
MANDELA.
MAYBE YOU COULD HAVE PICKED
SOMEONE ELSE, MAYBE SOMEONE ELSE
ELSE.
I AM EVADING THE QUESTION.
>> Greg: YOU ARE GOOD FRIENDS
WITH --
>> I WOULDN’T SAY I WAS GOOD
FRIENDS.
WE WENT TO A WEDDING TOGETHER
WHEN SHE LIVED IN NEW YORK.
SHE IS THE PERSON THAT -- I WILL
SAY THAT THE PERSON THAT SHE IS
IN FRONT OF THE WORLD TODAY DOES
NOT SURPRISE ME.
>> Greg: SO YOU’RE SAYING SHE
IS A --
RIGHT?
YOU CAN SAY.
SHE DOESN’T WATCH THE SHOW.
>> YOU NEVER KNOW.
YOU’RE THE HIGHEST RATING SHOW
IN LATE NIGHT TONIGHT.
>> THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT.
>> Greg: THAT I GET OUT OF
TOUGH QUESTIONING, AMERICA.
YOU FLATTER THE HOST.
>> I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET OUT
OF THAT.
>> Greg: THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
COMPLETELY LOST MY TRAIN OF
THOUGHT.
THE PROBLEM -- IS THE PROBLEM
THAT HE CAME HERE SAYING THAT HE
REJECTED THE ENTITLEMENTS OF
ROYALTY AND NOW HE’S KIND OF
EXPECTING MORE OF ROYALTY OR
MORE ENTITLEMENT FROM AMERICA?
>> WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT
THIS GUY?
HE WON BECAUSE IT’S FUN!
>> THIS DUDE IS THE MOST
UNFAMOUS ROYAL FAMILY -- HE IS
THE RINGO STARR OF ROYALTY.
HE WAS BOOED THE LAST TIME I WAS
HOME.
YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THAT IN THE
ENGLISH WOMEN WHERE THEY WERE
BOOING THE ROYALTY.
THEY DON’T WANT HIM THERE.
WE DON’T WANT HIM HERE EITHER,
BUT THIS IS AMERICA, SO
EVERYBODY GETS TO STAY.
HE SAW IN RELEVANT AND THE U.N.
IS HURTING SO BAD FOR GUESTS
THEY LITERALLY BROUGHT HIM ON
AND THE ONE THING HE IS DOING,
AND I THINK IF I WAS BRITISH, I
WOULD BE ABSURD FOR A LONG TIME,
BRITAIN HAS THIS -- BRITISH
PEOPLE HAVE THIS ONE OF EVERYONE
WITH AN EXCESS ACCENT IS
INTELLIGENT.
THEREIN ALL THE MOVIES, ALL THE
PROFESSORS OF HIS ENGLISH.
IS SINGLE-HANDEDLY GOING TO TAKE
IT AWAY FROM THEM.
>> Greg: THAT RIGHT.
THE ONLY THING THEY HAVE!
>> YEAH, THAT’S A GREAT POINT.
>> Greg: THAT’S WHY WE DID IT.
>> HE’S NOT EVEN ON A LIST.
YOU CAN GET ANY PRINCESS, YOU
CAN GET ROYALTY, THERE’S THAT
ONE GUY WHO KEEPS CALLING, BRING
HIM ON.
>> Greg: KAT, ARE WE BEING TOO
HARD ON THIS COUPLE ARE NOT HARD
ENOUGH?
>> NO.
>> Greg: NO ON WHAT?
>> ALL OF IT, I DON’T KNOW.
IS LIKE THE ONE USED PRINCE
EVER.
YOUR PRINCE.
IT’S CRAZY TO BE BORN INTO SUCH
INSANE LEVELS OF PRIVILEGE AND
ALSO, JUST LIKE WINE ALL THE
TIME.
IS ALSO NOT VERY GOOD AT
TALKING.
AT ALL.
IS BEING OFFERED TRIPLE DIGIT
MILLIONS FROM NETFLIX.
YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT’S BECAUSE
YOU ARE A PRINCE, SO MAYBE YOU
COULD AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGE THAT,
LIKE, THE FACT THAT I WAS BORN A
PRINCE, THAT WAS GOOD.
SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE EVERY NOW
AND THEN.
THAT COMING FROM ME.
>> Greg: IT’S HARD.
THEY WANT TO BE LIKE THE
PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY OF
PROGRESSIVISM, THEY FELT LIKE
THAT WOULD BE THE WAY IN, EVEN
IN HOLLYWOOD, IT SEEMS LIKE
THERE ARE ALREADY TIRED OF THEM,
BUT I DON’T KNOW.
I DON’T REALLY CARE.
>> THINK OF WHAT HOLLYWOOD DOES.
TAKE PEOPLE WHO PRETEND TO DO
SOMETHING AND TURN THEM INTO
DEITIES.
WE ARE MASTERS AT WORSHIPING
PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY DO NOTHING.
PLAY A PHYSICIST IN A MOVIE, YOU
PLAY AN ACTION HERO, BUT YOU
REALLY DO NOTHING AND TAKE NO
ABOUT, BUT WE ACT AS IF YOU DO
AND THAT’S WHY HOLLYWOOD LOVES
THESE IDIOTS.
>> Greg: ON THAT NOTE, UP