- So in my family, my two younger brothers are
so from my mother's second marriage.
And so I'm still the only person in my family
who looks like this.
So, my mom is African woman, black Xhosa woman.
My father's Swiss from Switzerland.
So he was a white man.
And so I looked like this
and then my mom remarried a black man.
And so my brothers don't look like me either, all right.
And I remember what was really beautiful was my brothers,
we always spoke about this stuff.
So my parents, they were like, yeah, different dads.
We get how this works.
So my brother one day, I pick him up from school, right.
He's like, he's really young at the time.
It was maybe like I'm trying to think
it was a nine, maybe 10 years old.
And he gets in the car and he's like, just deflated.
He gets in the passenger seat and he fastens his seatbelt.
And I'm like, what's going on Isaac?
And he's like, hey, Trevor.
He's like, ah kids, man.
I can't do this, kids.
So, I go kids? Tell me more.
And then he's like, I just
I just don't know what to do with kids, Trevor, you know
like today, one of my friends said, oh, are we walking home?
Then I said, no, my brother's picking me up.
Then he says, who's your brother.
Then I said, Trevor.
Then now when we're walking, he sees you in the car.
Then he says, who's that?
Then I say it's my brother.
Then he says, ah, but how can your brother,
how can your brother be white?
Then I said, he's not white.
He's not white.
He's mixed.
Then he said, but you're not mix.
You don't look the same.
How can your brother not look the same?
So now I'm like, aw, man
I'm gonna have to like go through this.
So then I'm like, so, so what did you say to him?
He's like, ah Trevor, like,
I tried to explain it the way kids understand.
I just said to him, I said, Zaley
you've got to understand, like,
people are like chocolates, okay.
Like, like you can have like a white chocolate
and you can have a dark chocolate
and you can have a milk chocolate,
but it's all Nestle, okay.
(audience laughs)
Any questions?
You're good? Okay.
(audience laughs)
- [Audience Member] How's Fufi?
- How's? Oh, how's Fufi?
Wow, that's a deep cut.
You guys just ask me that like just random,
you gotta be like, hey Trevor, so I read in your book
and you can't just be like how's Fufi,
'cause my mind went who the hell?
No, because, because Fufi died.
(audience sighs)
So for those who don't, so I had a,
I had a dog when I was growing up
like one of the dogs we had, we,
my mom was working at a pharmaceutical company
and her colleague came to work one day and was like, hey
my neighbor's dog impregnated my dog,
so now I have all these puppies I don't want.
And they're like this weird mix
of like a bull terrier and a Maltese poodle.
So do you want to take them?
And my mom was like, all right, I'll take two.
And then my mom brought them home
and I'd never had a dog before.
And I'm like this is the most amazing thing in the world.
And so we raised them and it was two beautiful dogs.
They look completely different, but they were sisters.
They were the best, Fufi and Panther.
And my mom called the one Panther
'cause she had a pink nose so the Pink Panther.
And then, and Fufi was like the dumbest,
most beautiful dog ever.
And Panther was the smartest ugliest dog you've ever seen.
And so like, like I loved Fufi the most
'cause she just like looked really vicious.
And I used to think that Fufi was really stupid.
And then one day what happened was
like at our house, somebody was trying to like
come into the house, like a family friend.
And they were trying to open the gates.
And then they moved the gate,
and then the gate fell and then Panther ran away.
'Cause she, they'd like sleep by the gate
and then Panther ran.
But then Fufi didn't and then the gate hit her
and then like, it broke her spine.
It was devastating.
So then we went to the vet
and then like the vet was like, I can't help her.
You know, we've got to put her down,
put her out of her misery.
And the vet was like, but this was amazing.
How were you guys, like, how did you guys raise a deaf dog?
And we were like, what?
(audience laughs)
And he was like, what do you mean a deaf dog?
And he was like, oh, like afterwards,
like I just when I was just going through
examining her while she was still living.
I realized that she wasn't born with, I guess
a certain part of the cochlear or something.
And we were like, wait, this dog was deaf the whole time?
We just genuinely, I literally just be like, Fufi sit.
Listen to me!
Sit Fufi!
I was like, you're so dumb, you're so dumb.
And I never knew that the dog,
then we realized what used to happen was
when we'd call the dogs, we'd be like Fufi, Panther!
And Fufi would never come
but Panther would come running sometimes.
Then she'd like look at you and then she'd run back.
And then they would both come.
And I always used to be like, Fufi's just dumb.
And then I realized Panther was like, ah, she didn't hear.
And then she'd go back and fetch her.
And then she would, then both of them would come.
And then like now I went back, Fufi.
Fufi.
I miss you, Fufi.
(audience laughs)
So, that's how Fufi's doing, she's yeah.
In Africa, like, so my mom,
she would let me watch like a sex scene in a movie.
She would be like, I don't care about that.
But if kids were playing with food,
she'd make me turn the movie off.
So whenever it was like,
I used to watch those high school movies,
those American movies.
And then, you know what there'd always be
food fights in the cafeteria.
Then my mom would be like, turn it off, turn it off.
And then I'll be like, what do you mean?
She's like, why are they wasting food?
Then I was like it's a movie.
She's like, but it's real food.
It's real food.
How can you waste food like that?
And then I was like, like, it's like, my mom was going
you know, like parents would go there are children starving.
My mom was like, we are starving in Africa.
We're starving.
Why are they wasting food?
When is my mom gonna be on the show?
(audience cheering)
Never.
Here's the thing with my mom, two things.
One, she has no interest in television
or any of these things that I do.
She just loves the fact that I can pay the rent.
And she loves me for who I am.
She genuinely does not care for all of these things.
And I'll give you an example.
This is how not interested in it my mom is, right.
My mom, two and a half years ago,
I met Lionel Richie for the first time.
And growing up Lionel Richie was the soundtrack
to me and my mom's lives, right?
So like Sunday morning, she'd be playing Sunday Morning.
The two of us would be there.
We'll be dancing together.
Play all of Lionel Richie's song,
be singing them in the house together.
And then I meet Lionel Richie.
So I'm like, this is amazing Lionel Richie, my mom and I
we used to dance to your music when I was a kid.
Can I take a picture?
I'm gonna send it to my mom.
I don't, my mom doesn't care about any celebrity,
so I'm like, this is the one time
Mom's gonna be like, wow, you met Lionel Richie.
So I took the picture and I sent it to my mom.
And then emailed it to her,
I was like, mom, look, what do you think?
And then she replied.
She was like, wow, you're getting fat.
(audience laughs)
And I was like okay, but, okay, let's move over that.
First of all, the camera adds 20 pounds.
But let's talk about the other person in the picture,
Lionel Richie.
And then she was like oh yes.
Oh, that's nice.
I was like, oh okay.
Oh, wow, okay.
That was the thing.
She like, she just genuinely,
and then like four or five days ago,
I guess she was on the internet
which she doesn't regularly do.
She goes emails and then she's done.
And she was on the internet.
And then my brother
like was going through pictures of me or something.
And then she was like, hey
I saw a picture of you and Lionel Richie.
When did that happen?
I was like, it happened when I sent you the picture
two and a half years ago.
And then she was like, which picture?
Oh, the picture where you were fat.
Then I'm like, ah!
How's my grandmother doing?
Oh, she's fantastic, man.
91 years old and 10 months.
Yeah, she makes me count the years and months as well now.
It's her new thing.
Did she cook for me?
No, she's too old.
Oh, no, no, no.
She even says to me, I was like, what do you do?
She's like, oh me.
She's like, I just enjoy being alive.
(audience laughs and cheers)
And then all she does is she, we're ready?
Yeah, all she does is she chills at home?
Like, she's got like a, like her squad of grannies
and they all just come and hang out.
And she it's like, it's like, it's like a weird team
of like superheroes where they've all got their specialties.
And then hers is that her memory is bulletproof.
So all her friends ask her
about things they forgotten about in life.
But I'm like, like she's got a better memory
than me, my mom, everybody.
She can tell you what year a thing happened,
what month, everything.
And so her friends come over and there'll be
and they'll ask like random questions.
They'll be like, Nomalizo,
like, where did I meet my husband.
(audience laughs)
And then she'd be like, oh, you met there.
And then she'll like, tell a story.
It's amazing to watch, yeah.
And so all she does all day, she just
she loves writing.
That's what she does.
And I asked her why.
And she said, she says to be 91
and know how to still read and write.
Oh, I'm so blessed.
So that's all she does.
Yeah.
Did I do anything fun while I was on vacation?
Actually I did.
So I went back home to South Africa, went to check up on
yeah, it was just fun.
I went to check on my, like the foundation.
Went to catch up with my people.
And it's funny, 'cause every time I go home,
people always shout at me about going home,
which is a weird thing.
So like, I'll get home.
And then at the board of like literally at customs
the woman was like, she's like,
Trevor, when are you coming home?
And I was like, I'm home.
She's like, no, but when are you coming home?
And I was like, but I'm here right now.
You're holding my passport.
She's like, no, that doesn't count, Trevor.
That doesn't count Trevor.
We miss you.
Then I'm like, but it's not like you saw me.
Like it's not like I was just running around
in the streets every day.
It's like no, Trevor, come home.
I'm like I'm home.
(audience laughs)
But then what was crazy and amazing was I saw
I was in Cape Town and then my, a friend of mine called me
and said, yo, Trevor, what are you doing?
And I said, I'm waiting.
I'm gonna go to an event later today.
And he's like, oh, 'cause the president wants to meet you.
So I was like the president of what?
(audience laughs)
No, because I just didn't assume that the president
like I was like, could be like
the president of this company,
the president of the student's association, I don't know.
So I'm like which president?
And he's like the president of the country.
Then I was like, like, what did I, what did I do?
He's like no, he just wants to like
he wants you to come and say hi.
So he wants you to come to like the, like, to
to the presidential, you know,
the presidential homestead in Cape Town
and just come and say hi.
I was like, okay.
And so then I was with my friends and I was like, guys,
we got to go do this thing.
And my friends were like, all right, let's roll.
And then they rolled with me
but I didn't tell them what it was.
And I didn't realize in the moment
that I didn't tell them what it was.
So like my friend's, like wearing a hoodie,
my other friend's wearing like a free t-shirt
and then we, and I'm wearing a suit
'cause I'm going to another event.
And then we get there and then they're like
what are, are we here to pick up?
And then I say to the person that comes, I'm like
we're here to see the president.
And then my friend's like, dude, I'm wearing a hoodie!
(audience laughs)
And I was like, oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I didn't,
I forgot to tell you where we were going.
And so then we went in
and then we met the president and he was just very cool.
It was like, you know
and then my friend like, he apologized.
He's like, I'm so sorry, Mr. President.
I did not know I was meeting a president today.
That's why I'm dressed like this.
And then the first one was cool.
He's like, no, he's like
I didn't know I was meeting you guys,
that's why I dressed like this.
And it was cool.
He was nice about it.
And then just out of nowhere, the president was like, Trevor
he's like, what are you doing now?
He's like, come with me to parliament.
I want to introduce you.
So he like takes me, you know, to our Congress,
like to parliament and he's just like, just come with me.
And so he's like walk with me.
And now you're like on the presidential power walk.
And I'm like, just what do you do on this walk?
And he's like, you just act like
you're thinking of serious things.
(audience laughs)
And so I'm walking next to him the whole time.
And I'm just like, yes nuclear war,
immigration, unemployment.
And so we walk together and then we get to parliament.
And then when we got there, he introduced me
and it was one of the most surreal moments
because it's one of those things that you, you, you
you take for granted because it happens gradually in life.
But I genuinely just had to breathe,
like a few days after, I was gonna be like, yo,
you were in parliament.
And the president of your country was like
give a round of applause to Trevor Noah,
he's giving back to the country and we love him.
And literally in that moment I was sitting there
and I was, God, where is my history teacher now?
(audience cheering)
What?
What what?
If there was one aspect of South African culture
that I could transplant to America, what would it be?
Huh? What would it be?
I think it would be maybe our general ease
of talking about race and our racial past, you know.
'Cause South Africa and America have very similar histories,
you know, in that there was like
there were many things that were done to people of color
that were extremely heinous, but we
just maybe because the truth and reconciliation commission
in our country, we were forced to talk about it
and we just talk about it.
It's painful, but we laugh about it and it's out there.
Whereas in America I find there's like a lot of tension
in and around that, a lot of people just like,
yeah, come on.
We don't have how to, how do we have to bring that up?
And it's like, dude
I'm not saying you did slavery, calm down.
You know what I mean?
Because that's how a lot of people treat it.
There's just like, I wasn't there.
I didn't say you were there.
I'm just like slavery happened.
Yeah, but I, I swear I was in the,
dude, you're 37, calm down.
You know what I mean?
And I feel like there could be,
it helps to be able to have conversations about those things
because then it helps you understand
how you got to where you got to.
But if you can't have those conversations,
then you just have to operate in a blind space
of like, how did this happen?
You know, why do so many black people
live in this part of Harlem?
I don't know, why do you think?
I don't know.
Do you get what I'm saying?
And it actually opens it up, I think.
That would be like the one part.
And it doesn't fix everything, don't get me wrong.
But I do think it makes it easier to address issues,
to have conversations when you can just be like,
yeah, man, this shit happened.
You know what I mean?
You can just be like, yeah, that was, that was crazy.
That was wild.
That happened.
That this happened, that and then,
and that's the thing.
A lot of the time people think
it's about assigning blame, but it's not.
It's about addressing what happened
so that everyone can move forward
and understand why things need to be fixed
or how they got there in the first place.
Does that make sense?
Like, imagine.
(audience cheers)
Imagine if like, your doc,
like you want to talk to your doctor
about something that happened inside your body
and then, you know, your doctor scans
and then you're like, doc, I think
I might have like a cancer.
Your doctor's like I wasn't there.
I wasn't really with you.
You're like no, I just need your help fixing it.
Yeah, I wasn't there though.
I wasn't even, it's like, no, man, just chill out.
You know what I mean?
Let's talk about, that's the one thing.
I'll transplant that.
And chickens that don't like do weights and stuff.
(audience laughs)
That's the other part.
Like chickens that just like are normal.
'Cause American chickens is just like, what?
Like once I saw them, I was like, I'm sorry, what?
Is that the thing I'm eating?
Oh.
Like I remember when I first saw a chicken wing in America.
This is the, this is the dumbest thing you've ever heard
and you're gonna judge me, but I judge you back.
I remember the first time I had a chicken wing
in America is like, I ordered like Buffalo wings, okay.
And I know this sounds crazy,
but the reason I was intrigued
because I saw it on someone else's plate.
And then I was like, what are those?
And someone said, those are Buffalo wings.
And I was like, oh, is this like a part of the buffalo
that I don't know.
And I was like, I want to taste Buffalo wings.
And then I remember eating it.
Then I was like, it's sort of like chicken.
And someone's like it is chicken.
And I was like, but it's Buffalo.
And then they were like, no it's chicken.
Then I was like, but what chicken is this?
I was like, how big is the wing of this chicken?
What dinosaur chickens do you guys have here?
'Cause that's not the size of any normal chicken
anywhere in the world.
So yeah, I would, I would
that's the one other thing I would bring
is just like normal animals.
(audience laughs)
Normal, that's all.
Yeah, I'd bring normal animals and conversations about race.
(upbeat music)