- One of the most disturbing aspects of Depersonalization
is the existential thoughts that come with it.
But once you understand why they're happening,
you'll see that they're temporary, harmless,
and in fact, nothing to worry about.
Hey, everyone, I'm Shaun O'Connor,
author of The Depersonalization Manual.
I suffered with chronic Depersonalization for two years
before I recovered completely
and in the more than 10 years since,
I've helped thousands of people around the world
to recover with my book, "The Depersonalization Manual."
And today, I'm going to show you
why DP causes scary, existential thoughts,
why you don't need to be afraid of them
and how to deal with them.
Let's get started!
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I hear about these scary,
intrusive thoughts from DP suffers all the time.
Thoughts like - Am I dead? Am I going crazy?
I feel like I'm not real.
It feels like I'm living in a dream and I can't wake up.
Am I in purgatory?
I feel like I'm still high and I can't come down.
Back when I had Depersonalization,
I had scary thoughts like this constantly.
I was convinced, at various points, that I had died,
that I was in purgatory, that I was stuck in a dream.
It was terrifying.
Existential thoughts about things outside yourself
are also very common, like looking at other people
and thinking, how do human beings exist?
Or looking at animals like dogs and cats
and thinking, How are these creatures even possible?
Books and films with philosophical angles
like "The Matrix" can freak you out
and scientific topics like, say quantum mechanics
or the vastness of space, can suddenly seem terrifying.
With Depersonalization, scary, philosophical thoughts
like these can hit you like a ton of bricks,
hundreds of times a day.
I remember that I had a physical reaction every time I
had one of these intrusive thoughts.
my stomach would sink, my muscles would tighten up.
It was horrible.
And over time, these thoughts started to turn into their own phobias.
I became particularly scared of going to the bathroom
because looking into the mirror was so scary.
I was scared of even going outside
because the sky seem so huge.
At one point,
I was scared that I might just disappear into thin air.
These thoughts can become so overwhelming
that you become convinced that you're about to go crazy,
that your mind is being pushed so hard that it must
be on the verge of breaking and going insane.
You start to worry that you'll never be able
to stop thinking like this.
It's a horrible experience and it's such
a massive, overwhelming change in how you think that
it couldn't possibly have a simple explanation, could it?
Well, guess what, it does!
So let's break this down into three simple steps
and find out exactly why these thoughts are happening
and why you don't need to be scared of them.
Number one, the Feelings of Depersonalization.
The feelings of Depersonalization are part
of your brain's natural response to stress and anxiety.
In the same way that anxiety produces physical responses
like tense muscles, increased heart race, etc,
it also produces mental effects like Depersonalization.
These feelings are not permanent and they can't hurt you.
But still, feeling like you're in a dream,
like you're not real, it's pretty bizarre and frightening!
And while you're experiencing them,
you're frantically trying to make sense
of these bizarre feelings.
Why do you feel like you're cut off from reality?
Why do you feel like you're stuck in a dream?
Why do you feel like you're still high
and you can't come down?
Why are you struggling to keep anything
in your short-term memory?
There has to be a big explanation, right?
Which brings us to Number Two.
When your brain is in an anxious state,
it tends to jump to the worst, scariest conclusions.
It's called Catastrophizing.
So instead of considering simple, logical answers like,
I have a temporary anxiety condition,
you instead jump to explanations like, you feel cut off
from reality because you're dead or dreaming.
You feel stuck in a dream because you're in purgatory
or a coma. Or you still feel high because
a drug flipped a switch in your brain
and now you're stuck like this forever.
Now, are any of these scenarios actually possible?
Of course not.
But we have a tendency to bypass the simplest,
logical answers and jump to the most frightening,
far-fetched conclusions.
Now, let's look at the final piece of the puzzle.
Number three, Racing Thoughts.
One of the most common mental symptoms associated
with Depersonalization or any anxiety based condition
is racing thoughts.
This is when your mind is going at top speed,
constantly jumping from one thought to another,
finding it hard to focus.
So you combine the feelings of Depersonalization
with your brain's desperate attempts to make sense
of them while tending to catastrophize
and all going at top speed?
Of course you're going to get scary, intrusive thoughts,
ranging from the commonplace about dogs and cats
to existential and philosophical
about the nature of reality.
But here's the good news.
As scary as these thoughts might seem, they're temporary.
They can't hurt you and they're not going
to turn into anything worse.
Why? Because the thoughts themselves aren't important.
They're just thoughts!
Thinking about the size of the universe is essentially
the same as thinking about what you'll have
for breakfast tomorrow morning.
The only reason that one seems more important or scary
than the other is because we spend time on it
and allow it to spiral off into a bunch
of other thoughts and then a panic attack.
And here's another important point.
If you've been suffering with Depersonalization for a while,
it might feel like you can't even imagine
these thoughts not being there.
You're scared that this new,
anxious way of thinking is permanent.
Well, guess what?
Thoughts like that are the anxiety.
Of course there's been no permanent change
in your thought process.
That's just more catastrophizing!
And here's more good news.
You don't need to address these thoughts one by one.
Depersonalization can seem like it's
a thousand different thoughts and fears that each need
to be addressed individually. But in reality,
the opposite is the truth.
All the fears, the racing thoughts,
the Depersonalization itself,
they're all driven by one thing - Anxiety.
Deal with the anxiety that's causing them
and all of these thoughts, even the most scary,
intrusive, existential, philosophical thoughts
will fade away and stop as if they'd never been there,
along with every other symptom of Depersonalization.
(lively music)
Is there anything I've missed?
What Depersonalization thoughts have you been experiencing?
Let me know in the comments section below.
And one last thing.
If you want tons more information
on Depersonalization recovery,
check out my website at DPmanual.com where you'll find
everything you need to know, including my complete guide
to recovery, The Depersonalization Manual.
If you have any comments or questions,
just leave them in the comments section below
and I'll make sure to answer and help you out.
Don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel
and if you found this video helpful,
please do like and share.
Thanks so much for watching, guys.
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