( APPLAUSE )
WELCOME BACK.
AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE STUNNING FINALE OF JEFF
GOLDBLUM VERSUS THE COLBERT QUESTIONERT.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE, JEFF?
>> I KNEW THAT YOU MIGHT ASK ME THAT.
NOW, THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS.
I'M GOING TO-- I CAN'T-- I WOULD BE-- I CAN'T SAY ONE, BUT HERE
ARE A BUNCH OF MOVIES, VERY QUICKLY.
>> Stephen: NOT JUST A TINY VERSION OF THE RUBEIAT OF OMAR
KAYAN.
WHAT IS THAT?
>> IT'S MY NOTES.
I DID IT ALL THROUGH "THE WORLD ACCORDING TO JEFF GOLDBLUM."
>> Stephen: IS THAT SHORTHAND?
>> NO, YOU COULDN'T READ THAT.
IT'S MY PRINTING.
I DON'T DO-- WHAT'S THAT CALLED ANYMORE THAT MY KID ARE LEARNING
TO DO?
>> Stephen: CURSIVE.
>> CURSIVE, CURSIVE.
I HAVEN'T DONE THAT IN A LONG TIME.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T JOIN YOUR LETTERS?
>> NO.
FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE.
IT'S ONE OF THESE-- LISTEN CLOSELY.
SEVEN SAMURAI.
KILL BILL.
TEAM AMERICA WORLD POLICE.
SKYFALL, CASINO ROAL.
GOLDFINGER.
FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE.
SPIDER-MAN INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE.
TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE.
FRENCH CONNECTION.
APOCALYPSE NOW.
LAWRENCE OF ARABIA.
ISLE OF DOGS.
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.
JURASSIC PARK.
RIO BRAVO.
ONE-EYED JACKS.
BULLET.
JAWS.
BADLANDS.
BLADERUNNER, 2017.
DUNE, 2021.
BONNIE AND CLYDE.
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, OR MAD MAX FURY ROAD.
( APPLAUSE )
>> REALLY, IS IT 25?
>> Stephen: THAT'S GIVE NICELY DONE.
>> I DIDN'T KNOW -- >> Stephen: I HAVE FINGERS.
>> REALLY?
SO ONE OF THOSE-- I DON'T KNOW.
ANY WAY, THAT'S MY ANSWER.
ONE OF THOSE-- PICK ONE.
>> Stephen: OKAY, FAVORITE SMELL.
>> OH, I HAVE A FEW.
VERY QUICKLY.
FRESH AIR.
THE LOOMY, LOOMY EARTH.
RAIN.
MY KIDS.
I HAVE A SIX-YEAR-OLD AND A FOUR-YEAR-OLD BOY.
JUST TO PICK ONE, THEIR HAIR, THEIR HAIR.
AND THEN EMILY.
I THINK HER NECK.
RIGHT THERE.
>> Stephen: WOW, WOW.
YOU HAD THREE OF THE ELEMENTS.
YOU HAD AIR-- >> FIRE.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE EARTH, AND YOU HAD WATER.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND YOU WERE ABOUT TO GO FOR FIRE.
>> FIRE.
WHAT'S FIRE SMELL LIKE?
OH, FIRE CAN SMELL DELIGHTFUL.
A NICE COZY FIRE.
DEPENDING ON THE LOGS.
THAT'S A GREAT SMELL.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: DEPENDING ON THE LOGS.
DEPENDING ON THE LOGS IS A GREAT MODIFIER TO EVERY SENTENCE.
SENTENCE.
DEPENDING ON THE LOGS, THIS COULD BE GOOD.
>> WHEN YOU READ THE FORTUNE COOKIE, YOU JUST END IT WITH
"DEPENDING ON THE LOGS."
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
>> AND IT MAKES SENSE.
OR A NEW ALBUM BY EARTH, WIND, AND FIRE.
HOW THAT SMELLS WHEN YOU FIRST TAKE IT OUT.
A DELICIOUS SMELL.
>> Stephen: MOST-USED APP ON YOUR PHONE.
>> HERE'S THE TRUTH, I APPRECIATE THE NAVIGATION APP,
BECAUSE I WAS NEVER GOOD WITH A MAP.
THAT'S VERY HELPFUL.
BUT THE MOST USED IS TWO OF THEM.
GOOGLE-- I THINK IT'S AMAZING THAT WE CAN GO, "WHAT'S ANOTHER
WORD FOR, YOU KNOW, DA-DA-DA."
I CAN LOOK UP A THESAURUS THERE.
I CAN LOOK UP EVERYTHING.
IT'S FANTASTIC, INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE LIBRARY-- WHICH IS GREAT.
ALSO YOUTUBE, YOU CAN SEE AN OLD CLIB OF THELONIUS MONK, OR A
COMEDIAN WE LIKE -- >> Stephen: WHAT'S THE LACHT
VIDEO YOU LOOKED UP TO WATCH ON UTUBE.
>> I WAS LISTENING TO THINGS TODAY.
I'M IN A CYCLE DOWN A RABBIT HOLE WITH SHOWS, PODCASTS WITH
PHYSICISTS.
>> Stephen: OH, HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED RICHARD FEIN MAN'S
LECTURES ON YOUTUBE?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: FANTASTIC.
>> REALLY?
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> I DID-- AREN'T THEY GREAT?
ISN'T IT GREAT THAT YOU CAN GET THAT.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> IT'S FANTASTIC.
>> Stephen: I WILL TELL YOU WHAT MY LAST ONE WAS-- THANKS
FOR ASKING.
MY LAST ONE WAS, I LOOKED UP ANTONIO GURES.
A GREAT FLAMENCO DANCER.
AND I BET YOU HAVE ATTEMPTED FLAMENCO.
YOU'VE GOT THE BODY FOR IT.
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: THAT LONG, LEAN THING.
YEAH, YEAH.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: CHECK IT OUT.
>> IF I CHANGE MY NAME IS MIGHT BE FARUCA GOLD BLOOM.
>> Stephen: CATS OR DOGS?
>> WELL, I'LL TELL YOU-- WELL, I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU, WE DID AN
EPISODE OF THE FIRST FIVE COMING UP ON THE "THE WORLD ACCORDING
TO JEFF GOLDBLUM" ON DOGS.
AND WE HAVE, WHO APPEARS IN IT, OUR PERSONAL DOG RIGHT NOW,
WOODY, OUR FAMILY DOG, WOODY IS IN IT.
I'M TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH DOGS.
AND I HAVE HAD DOGS THROUGHOUT MY LIFE.
EVEN THOUGH I HAD A COUPLE OF CATS FOR A WHILE, AND THERE'S
NOTHING WRONG WITH CATS.
THEY'RE DELIGHTFUL-- PURRRRR.
IF I HAD TO PICK, I WOULD SAY I'M A DOGGY, DOGGY MAN.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
YOU ONLY GET ONE SONG TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE,
WHAT IS IT?
>> AS YOU KNOW, VERY DIFFICULT QUESTION.
BECAUSE I'M-- I'M A GUY, IF I-- EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE SONGS THAT
AFFECT ME, HAVE AFFECTED ME TREMENDOUSLY, AND I PUT THEM ON
TH THING, ONCE I CHOOSE IT AND LISTEN TO IT, I GET KIND OF OUT
OF STEAM WITH IT VERY QUICKLY.
I WOULD RATHER-- IF I HAD MY DRUTHERS, I WOULD PUT ON A GOOD
RADIO STATION OR HAVE SOMEBODY CURATE OR SURPRISE ME.
I LIKE SURPRISE.
SO I WOULDN'T-- I'D LIKE NOT TO CHOOSE.
BUT IF I HAD TO, THERE HAVE BEEN--
( LAUGHTER )
GONE THROUGH CYCLES WITH.
THE TWO THAT COME TO MIND ARE WHEN I WAS-- OH, BOY, 13-- WHEN
IT FIRST CAME OUT ON A 45, I HAD STEVIE WONDER DOING "FOR ONCE IN
MY LIFE," YOU KNOW THAT RECORDING WITH THAT SOLO THAT
HE'S GOT.
IT DROVE ME ABSOLUTELY CRAZY AND I PLAYED IT OVER AND OVER AND
OVER AGAIN.
THEN THERE WAS A TIME RECENTLY WHERE ERROL GARNER PLAYS
"ELDORADO."
IT'S GREAT, YOU CAN SEE IT ON YOUTUBE AND I PLAYED THAT OVER
AND OVER AGAIN.
♪ ♪ ♪ IT'S GREAT.
SO THAT TICKLED ME.
SO THOSE TWO, IF I HAD TO PICK SOMETHING.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: ONE OF THOSE TWO.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> YEAH, I GUESS.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: WHAT NUMBER AM I
THINKING OF?
>> AH, OH, THAT'S EASY.
4,128.
I DID IT!
I DON'T KNOW HOW.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: DESCRIBE THE RECHT OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.
>> OH, THAT'S A TOUGH ONE.
WHEN YOU'RE HOT YOU'RE HOT, WHEN YOU'RE NOT, YOU'RE NOT.
WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.
OH, I GOT IT!
I GOT IT!
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU ARE KNOWN-- >> I'M KNOWN UTTERLY
( BELL RINGS ).
♪ ♪ ♪
>> STEPHEN: MY THANKS AGAIN TO JEFF GOLDBLUM.
SEASON TWO OF "THE WORLD ACCORDING TO JEFF GOLDBLUM" IS
AVAILABLE NOW ON DISNEY+.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A TRIBUTE TO STEPHEN SONDHEIM.