As you might have noticed from my last video or perhaps you just know from your own personal
experience, low self-esteem causes all kinds of problems.
And it all starts with believing in this toxic idea that we are without sufficient value.
But how does that idea even make its way into our thoughts and how does it turn into such
a strong belief?
That's what I'm gonna talk about in this video.
Hey, you guys.
This is part 2 of my video series on identity and worth.
In part 1, I shared my own personal story struggling with low self-esteem.
If you haven't seen that one yet, make sure you go check that out too.
And if you find this topic and other topics around mental health interesting, don't forget
to subscribe to our channel.
Alright, in part 1, through my personal story, I covered some events that happen in a typical
lifetime: (1) upsetting others, (2) your primary caretakers failing to be there for you when
you need them, (3) seeing others perform better than you, (4) getting rejected, (5) getting
treated poorly by others, and (6) performing poorly or failing.
And, though it wasn't a part of my personal story, I'm also gonna add (7) not possessing
something that’s seen as favourable - that could be things like money, friends, a significant
other, or even things like height and skin colour.
These events happen to everyone.
Not one person is exempt from going through these events in life, not even the top 1%.
They’re all just normal parts of life.
But when these events happen, as normal as they are, they’re unlikely to just happen
in isolation without triggering any thoughts.
If you’re a highly sensitive person or someone who thinks a lot, these events certainly can
come with a lot of thoughts.
And one of the most common toxic thoughts we can have in these times is “I'm not
enough.”
First of all, you can't even back up such an absolute statement.
For you to do that, there’d need to be some universal standard of what it actually
means to be enough.
Well, that magical standard has never been nor can ever be scientifically proven to exist.
So, this absolute statement is really just an oversimplified explanation for why events
turn out the way they do and why things are the way they are.
So then how do so many of us come to believe it to be objectively true?
Well, this idea slips into our thoughts from a very young age.
Many people, including most mental health professionals, believe that it’s got to
be something learned from our childhood environment.
But even if our childhood environment was pretty rosy, the mere observation of someone
else’s better performance can trigger that negative thought.
So I actually don’t think it’s got so much to do with external influences in our
environment.
I believe it starts here, inside our mind.
And when it happens, it’d be great if we could take a step back and think about it
critically.
But, especially at such a young age, we simply lack the logical reasoning skills to do that.
So we end up just getting convinced that it’s true.
And then everything afterwards is likely to get interpreted through that belief, just
like what happened to me in my personal story.
Then, finally, it’s through our continual repetition of agreeing with these toxic interpretations
and beliefs that they become so automatic in the long-run.
If you wanna know more about how this specific process works, make sure you watch my past
video on behavioural patterns.
So, yeah, that’s how we come to believe that we're not enough.
And it is from this broken belief system that we get our low self-esteem.
I think it's pretty clear from my personal story that having low self-esteem comes with
all kinds of other problems.
It doesn't just stop at making you feel like you're not enough.
No, it goes beyond that.
It strongly influences the choices in life you make, like where and how you invest
your time and money, and what opportunities and risks you shy away from.
It can keep you super busy with what you think you need to do in order to keep your self-image
afloat, rather than give you the freedom to do what you really want to do or what would
be best for you.
So, low self-esteem can ultimately hinder you from reaching your greatest potential
and living out your most fulfilling life.
With all the problems that it creates, it doesn't make sense to hold onto low self-esteem.
But this isn’t an easy issue to resolve.
You see, many of us are hooked on just DOING more.
Sure, the productivity from doing more may help us to feel better about ourselves temporarily.
But it is this busy-ness that very much gets in the way of stillness, which is the state
from which we learn best that, just as we are, even when we're not doing anything, we
are enough.
Thanks for watching, you guys.
If you found this video helpful, please give it a thumbs up.
In the next video, I’ll be going over the cons of the most common way people try to
control their low self-esteem.
And if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to our channel.
See ya next time.
Bye.