Hi.
I'm Kristen Bell.
I'm a mom, which makes me an expert on all things, some
of which include earwax removal, fashioning makeshift diapers,
bribery, ass wiping, et cetera.
And because of said expertise, I thought
I could easily share my extensive hands-on momming
skills by taking over a Mommy and Me class.
Now, I am confident that I can do this.
But just to make sure, I brought backup, a superstar mama
who also has the last name Bell and is also
married to my husband.
Lake Bell, everybody.
Can I join?
Yes.
Oh, hello.
Hi.
Hi, Bell.
What are we doing?
Could you fill me in?
You know what, we don't know.
But we're going to do it anyway, which
is the perfect metaphor for motherhood.
Poetic.
Bing.
Can we add in some bingels?
We could do some bingels, yeah.
[MAGICAL FLOURISH]
(RAPPING) To all you moms who are doin' it right.
(SINGING) If you're happy and you know it, shout hurray!
Hurray!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
[SCREAMING, APPLAUSE]
How adorable.
Gosh, look at everybody.
This is great.
Why don't you grab a Danish or a coffee or something?
Because we got this, I think.
Yeah, we got it.
We can take it from here.
Hey.
Hello, everyone.
Hello.
[ALL GREET]
My name is Kristen.
I'm Lake.
You know what.
You can call us Hot Mama Kristen.
And Hot Mama Lakey.
Perfect.
OK.
And moms, you can--
They're going this way.
This-- we get it.
There it is.
Could you guys come down the slide
and come back to your seats?
Is that possible?
Oh, there's a whole--
Whoa!
What?
Let's wait.
One by one.
Wait till they-- wait till they go.
Wait, we have some fun stuff to do with you guys over there.
Do you need help?
Oh, man.
I can't get out.
They're impossible to infiltrate.
Oh, God.
Let me help you.
I got it.
Can I help you?
I got it.
[MELLOW MUSIC]
Whew!
Hey.
OK, today--
[CRIES]
I feel you.
That's how I feel inside a lot.
[CRIES]
Funny fingers, so you guys want to play a funny fingers game?
Do you have fingers?
Did you bring them?
Here's how you do it.
You take your fingers, and you wiggle them, wiggle them,
wiggle them.
And then you put them on your mommy's shoulders.
Just like so.
And then you push and wiggle.
Right?
OK.
Into your mommy's shoulders.
Do we need, like, music for this?
Well, if we could get, like, some didgeridoo or something
in the music.
[DIDGERIDOO MUSIC]
Kai, thank you so much for coming in today.
Thanks for joining us.
Yeah.
I just want to ask you a couple questions.
What's your five-year plan?
What does it look like for you in the future?
We're just spitballing.
You know, it's an open floor.
Yeah.
Kristian, how old are you again?
Three.
Do you have any idea what you want to be when you grow up?
Witch.
A witch.
That's very outside the box.
And I--
I like that.
That was interesting and dynamic.
What would you do as a witch?
Yeah, what are you doing as a witch?
You fly.
Oh, that's the appeal.
A flying witch, yeah, of course.
Another thing that we can talk about today
is just, like, how to make a good first impression.
When you first meet someone, you have to feel comfortable.
Right?
But confident.
And I want a smile but not too much because, you know,
you don't want to be weird about it.
And then maybe a firm, but not too firm handshake.
And you'd go, hey, I'm Lake.
Hi Lake, I'm Kristen.
Wow.
Did you guys see that?
Anyone want to introduce themselves to me?
Stand up.
Hi, my name is--
Kristian.
Kristian, nice to meet you.
Can I shake your hand, but not too firm?
[LAUGHTER]
That's really good, Kristian!
[APPLAUSE]
Have you ever had a job?
Lemonade stand?
No.
Babysitting?
No.
Waitressing.
No.
Au pair?
No.
What about eating pears?
Have you ever eaten a pear?
Yeah.
OK, so one.
So OK, she's been a pear eater.
Yeah.
Been a pear eater.
Have you thought at all about your career?
'Cause don't, like, box yourself in, you know?
I'll tell you some of the jobs I've had because they've all
been pretty random.
I've been a detective.
Yep.
I've been a bad mom.
I've been a good mom, and I've been a princess.
Yep, she's done a lot.
I've been a cocktail waitress, a limbo champion.
Not really a job, but I did want to get that in there.
But it is, like, a reach for the sky kind of title, I think.
You can do that.
Yeah.
OK?
You can do that.
Um, when there's a car crash and then drive to the parking,
and then fix it, and then give you tire and new cars.
This is good.
I like this.
Let me write that down.
Like, a mechan-- would you want to be maybe a mechanic?
Auto repair, tow truck.
Tow-- OK.
Tow truck.
Let's both write down tow truck because I feel like--
Yeah, just as a first contender.
Yeah, and we'll give you all these notes afterwards.
Yeah, just so that you can put in your filing system at home.
"At the top of the stairs, there was a small landing
opening into a wide hallway.
But the red velvet curtain was what caught her eye.
Gripping Thomas's forearm, she led him
through the thick velvet and immediately felt
her heart pounding.
Is this what he had wanted all along?
She could smell the anticipation mixed with a cologne that
lingered on his neck."
You know what?
We're going to-- let's--
we'll find another book.
[LAUGHS]
Do you get an allowance from your parents?
Yeah.
In a piggy bank situation?
Or is it more of a wallet, or a purse, or a pocketbook?
Um, um, a case.
A case.
A case of money?
OK.
Good for you.
Wow.
OK, here's a hot tip.
Hot tip.
When you get an allowance, don't settle for your parents'
first offer, OK?
Don't tell them that we told you that,
but they will always go higher.
They'll go a little higher.
OK?
OK.
Just go for it and say, like, hey, listen,
what are you, lowballing me?
That's not what I'm worth.
Yeah.
Like, hey, excuse me.
I'm three years old.
I'm a grown ass man.
Yes, exactly.
You know generations have their name, right?
Like, there's like the Baby Boomers.
There's Gen X. There's Gen Y. There's Gen--
Z.
There's Millennials.
Millennials, yeah, those are taken.
But what are you guys going to be?
We got to think about this.
Yeah, get ahead of this because you don't
want people to define you.
Yeah, what-- do you have any ideas?
What's your generation called?
What's the word?
Crayons.
Generation Crayons.
I gotta check with legal to see if it's taken,
but that's an awesome one.
I feel like Gen LMNOP.
Gen Lollygagg is just fun to say.
Yeah, what else?
Gen--
Aniston.
Gen Aniston.
Consider it because it's positive feelings.
It makes me feel good.
It makes America feel good.
Have you ever thought about running for office?
You have.
That's a hard yes.
Like, state or federal?
Federal.
Yeah, he wants to go big.
Oh, my-- a witch in federal office.
This is-- this generation is going to be impressive.
Kristian, I cannot wait to see what you are going to do with
your life.
Yeah, I mean, thank you, sir.
A witch at the federal level.
This is--
Thank you.
I really appreciate it.
I feel like-- can I--
Kristian, I never do this.
I never do this.
Can I have your autograph?
[PATRIOTIC MUSIC]
What command.
This is-- this is big.
Wow.
So does anybody know what meditation is?
Anyone?
I do.
Where your body sits very still.
And then as you sit still and calm yourself,
you start to feel really good and relaxed.
Yeah.
And my kids at preschool sing an awesome meditation song.
I know about this song.
It's solid.
OK.
[CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY]
[LAUGHTER]
(SINGING) Put your hands on your chest.
Bow your head to your heart.
You are special.
I am special.
Namaste.
I'm glad you came today.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
I'm so grateful that you guys spent some time with us.
And I hope you walk away remembering how important it
is to be confident.
Confident, comfortable, to meditate a little bit
when you need it, when your body says, hey, take a beat.
But right now, before we relax, you
know what I want to tell you?
That slide is open.
That slide is open for business.
Woo!
[KIDS SCREAM]
Oh, my gosh, she's a dare devil!
Woo!
Hey!
Let's hear it for Gen Aniston!
Woo!