- Maybe I'll just text him and say that we had to
cancel the trip.
- What?
Ali, it's totally normal
to go on a weekend getaway with a guy that you've only
been on three dates with, haven't had sex with.
Yeah, it's totally normal.
- What is wrong with me?
- No, dude, it'll be fine.
- No.
God, how long does it take to get beer?
- I know right, and she's late for everything,
but always blames me.
- That sucks.
- Yeah, one time I was five minutes late,
and she made me pay her $5.
- Wait, dude, what?
- Yeah, it was fine though, it was a joke.
It was a bit (beers thudding on roof).
- Babe, get out, Ali's new man has to sit in the front.
- He's not my boyfriend.
- Thank you.
(giggles)
- Okay, you're gross.
(upbeat electronic dance music)
- Excuse me, driver, do you have a 4S charger?
- God, I hate this stupid bit,
also update your fucking phone.
- So have you and your boyfriend does the?
- Sharpen pencils yet?
No they haven't.
- He's not my boyfriend, we haven't but I think
I'll be really good 'cause like our make-outs,
and have me on the dry humpage.
- I knew you would be good.
- Oh my god, Jen stop, Ali does not want to hear
about her best-friend's remarkable sexual prowess.
- Ugh, you too are sick.
- Aw, he's so much cuter than his Instagram.
- Hey.
- Hey, you need help?
- Oh, no, I'm good.
- Ali, he has a fucking backpack, he doesn't need help.
- Shut up, do I look okay?
- [Brittany] Yes.
You got it?
- Yup, brought some wine.
- [Ali] Thank you.
- How's it going?
Hey.
- Hi, Brittany, big fan of your Instagram.
- Thank you.
- Charmed.
- Right, all right road trip.
- Who's that?
- George, my rat exterminator.
- Dude, you seriously have rats again?
- Yeah.
- You text with your rat guy?
- Yeah, I don't know what boundaries are.
- That's so funny, my childhood home had squirrels once.
- [Ali] That's cool, that's funny.
- [Jen] Great, scary, did you get rid of them?
- No. (laughing)
(chill indie music)
- Whoa!
Holy shit, water's like right there.
Do you want to go find a room?
Cool.
We call this one.
- [Ryan] That's incredible.
- Yeah.
Do you want to go find a room?
- Yeah.
- 'kay.
- [Ryan] Here I can grab that actually.
- Oh, thank you, what a gentleman.
- Is that side okay?
Brought the Tempur-Pedic 'cause you know
baby got back problems.
- Can you do me a favor?
- What kind of favor?
Does it have to do with my mouth?
- Can you try and remember you're my girlfriend
and not Ali's this weekend?
- Yeah, did I say something?
The sexual prowess thing was a joke.
I mean obviously not a joke 'cause you--
- No.
It's just a reminder.
- Yeah.
(smooching)
- Oh hey, should we...
Stop and go back out and--
- No.
- See what they wanna do?
- No, they don't care.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
- Wait.
- They won't care.
(sighs)
- We have all-night.
(swallows loudly)
- Okay.
(sighs) One.
(grooving jazz music)
(people chatting indistinctly)
- So the biggest laugh of the night was when a guy
fell on the stage, and his head was right next to my shoe.
- The only laugh.
- [Ryan] That's so cool that you do stand-up.
- Thank you.
- My friends always tell me that I should do stand-up.
So I've been thinking about it and I don't know.
(everyone being encouraging)
You think so?
- Anybody funny can write a joke.
All you gotta do is write it down and then say it.
Stand-up comedian. - [Ryan] I can do that.
- [Jen] No, anyone can, I mean you can.
- Well you know Brittany, everyone has shitty shows.
It's just one show, whatever.
- And weirdly, it's harder for a butt-hole joke to
land for only four people.
- Yeah, because not everyone laughs at the lowest
common denominator, so.
- My buddy Ted does stand up.
Do you know a Ted?
- I don't really think that Brittany's comedy is
lowest common denominator, it's actually really smart--
- [Brittany] What does Ted look like?
- [Ali] She subverts the lowest common denominator.
- Tall, white dude, beard.
- You know, I get it.
- Yeah, maybe I met him at an open mic.
- I just don't like it.
- So you don't like any of your girlfriends comedy?
- I didn't not say that, I said I don't like the
lowest common denominator comedy.
No, no, I like you, you are adorable.
- You don't have to go to my shows if you don't want to.
- Have you guys heard of Luis CK?
- Louis CK! Louis CK?
I love Louis CK, love him.
Why did you have to say it in front of them?
- I just meant like, you don't have to go to my shows.
- No, I get it, it's just that, why did you say it
in front of your friends?
- I'm sorry.
- It's like my first time out with them, I don't even--
- I'm sorry.
- It's fine.
- That was really good.
- Yeah, I feel like you got close but, you didn't.
- Yeah, you're perceptive, I mean,
that was still really fun for me.
- Are you one of those girls who does cum?
- No?
- Do you need an emotional connection to cum?
- No, I mean it helps for sure, but it's also more about
like a guy, knowing where the clit is.
- I know where that is.
- Yeah, no, of course you do.
- You're probably just nervous or something.
- You should have seen their faces when you told me not
to come to your show. - [Brittany] Really?
- [Brittany] No, I didn't mean like don't come to my shows.
I meant like it's not convenient for you, you don't have--
- I have to, you're my girlfriend, of course I have to go.
Hi!
- Hi.
So, how's it go?
How was it, good, bad?
- It was good, I like him a lot.
- Good.
- I didn't cum.
- It's okay.
- Bummer.
- I should have just faked it.
No, you're faking it is so not convincing. (laughing)
College roommate.
- This is true, it's like I get too into it.
It's like a dolphin drowning, I'm just like (vocalizing).
- [Brittany] Yeah, I remember, the shit's not good.
- [Ali] Hey.
- Hey.
- They know we fucked.
- [Brittany And Jen] Yeah, yup.
- Cool. (laughing)
- Did you put shoes on?
- [Ryan] Yeah.
- [Jen] Adorable.
- Just put them, I don't know.
- Brit and I were taLking about going out on the patio
and having a drink in a minute.
Do you guys want to come?
- Yeah that sounds good.
- You already have shoes on,
so you're only two more steps away.
- Put on pants.
- [Brittany] We can get beer from the car.
I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
- [Ryan] (sighs) Hey, let me help you with that.
- I can cum.
- What?
- I can cum, sorry, to bring it up again.
It's just super frustrating earlier when you blamed
me for not being able to cum.
- I'm sorry?
I didn't know if that was normal for you, or--
- Yeah, I know, and it's not your fault obviously.
It's not my fault either, it's no one's fault.
- I didn't know it was going to be such a big deal.
Like you're freaking out.
- Okay.
- Hey, let me grab this.
- Cool.
- Hey, listen, come on.
Are we cool?
- Yeah.
(sighs)
There's no Seymour Butts? (laughing)
Okay thank you for your time.
- Okay, it's my turn.
Brittany.
- Oh yes.
- [Jen] Truth or dare.
- Truth.
- Of course you picked truth.
- Okay fine, dare.
- Okay, I, dare, you, to, kiss Ali.
(chuckling) - [Brittany] Yeah, okay.
- Come on guys are so close, I'm sure you've done it anyway.
- No.
- What?
No, it's not like that at all.
- Come on Ryan, don't you think they should?
- I mean I guess.
- Wait, you really want me to do that?
- Of course I want you to.
Come on, prove that sexual prowess.
(sensual blues music)
- Okay, Ali, let's just do it.
- Brittany, we don't have to just because she says this.
- Oh, you don't want to?
- Yeah, I don't want to.
I don't want to kiss your girlfriend.
- Okay, calm the fuck down.
- [Ryan] Wait, here, I'll kiss Ali.
- [Jen] Okay babe, it's your turn.
So Ali thinks I'm a bitch--
- No, she doesn't think you're a bitch.
I don't tell her anything, I don't tell her bad stuff.
- She thinks that I'm evil, all on her own.
That's ruined, thanks for that.
- [Brittany] I didn't.
- Just like every other relationship I've ever had.
(knocking on the door)
- [Brittany] Yeah, one sec.
- Are you serious right now?
- [Ali] Hey, let's go for a walk.
Now, come on, let's go. - [Brittany] Okay.
- [Ali] Does she always treat you like that?
- Like what?
I shouldn't have been so flirty in the car.
- You were not flirty at all.
- She got cheated on in her last relationship.
She has certain triggers.
- Brit, there isn't a single moment this weekend where
I felt like she treats you okay.
- It's just crazy lesbian drama.
- No, it's crazy, crazy person drama.
What, so she's a woman, so she's excused from treating
other women like shit?
- She doesn't treat me like shit.
- Okay, if a dude treated me, if Ryan treated me like this,
we would hate him forever.
I feel like she's just completely manipulated you
into feeling like you deserve this.
- Okay, well I'm sorry that I actually give people
a chance, I don't just break up with them because they don't
make me cum once.
- Okay.
She's abusive.
- She's never hit me.
- She doesn't have to.
(tender electronic music)
- You and Ali go get high?
(Brittany sighs)
- Oh hey.
- Hey.
- Was everything okay last night?
- Yeah, sorry I just really needed to talk to Brittany.
- It's okay, I passed out.
- Okay, I'm sorry about everything this weekend.
I know it's been really intense.
- No, don't apologize, I've had a lot of fun.
- Me too.
(Ryan grunts) (Ali giggles)
- And I've decided that I'm going to make you cum.
- Yeah?
- Even if it takes all day.
- Okay. (giggling) (smooching)
(dramatic classical music)
(speaking muffled)
(water spraying)
- I think that it should be big, whatever it is.
I just like my parties to be big, there's too many people
that come to my parties. (Ali laughing)
Hey girl.
You guys hungry?
I'm making breakfast.
- Oh yes.
- Oh, sure.
- Last night was insane, I'm hungover.
I don't remember anything after Ryan did that weird
strip tease.
- And somehow, it wasn't even from a dare.
- Coffee?
- Sure.
- [Jen] I put cream it in.
- [Brittany] Cream.
- All right.
(ethereal electronic dance music)