Tripp Kramer here from TrippAdvice.com.
I'm sitting next to the beautiful, the lovely Caitlin V. You might remember her from the
famous squirting video.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you better go and check that out.
We were hanging out, we're at a love and dating coaches conference here in Los Angeles.
We've been talking about making another video together.
Today, we're gonna be talking about how to last longer in bed.
I gotta talk to Caitlin about this because she is our resident sex coach here at Tripp
Advice.
Caitlin, thanks for being here once again.
Caitlin: Thank you so much for having me.
Tripp: Let's get into it.
We have a ton of great information.
Caitlin, I want to start off with what we were talking about earlier about how to last
longer in bed.
She's got some great techniques.
Caitlin, take it away.
Caitlin: The first thing to ask yourself is why is it that you want to last longer in
bed?
Is your goal ultimately to be a better lover?
Please your woman?
What would please her?
What would make the best sex for her?
How could you be the best lover to her?
Sometimes lasting longer is the answer, but more often than not, she might be more specific
with exactly what she wants.
It could be a great opportunity for you to open a conversation and learn more about her
unique lovemaking style.
The first thing is why is it important to you?
Once you get clear on that, there's a whole bunch of things that you can do in order to
last longer.
The first thing is to change your masturbation style.
A lot of dudes were worried about getting caught by their family or walked in on by
their roommate, have learned to masturbate as fast as possible.
Tripp: They started at a very young age.
Caitlin: Yeah, totally.
The whole time that they've been masturbating, which is having sex with yourself.
The way that you have sex with yourself informs the way that you have sex with other people.
The whole time that you've been masturbating, might have been quick, and might have been
without any kind of lotion, with a lot of porn, and a lot of visual stimulus.
That's not at all what sex is like when you're having sex with a woman.
My first tip is for you to masturbate the way that you want to make love.
Go slow.
Don't watch porn.
Not that porn is bad, but it gives you a lot of extra stimulus.
What you want to do is like, make love to yourself.
Breathe, take it easy.
You can try a technique called “edging” where you work up to the point of ejaculatory
inevitability, also known as the point of no return.
Once you figure out where that point is, it makes it much easier for you to know when
you're reaching it when you're with a woman.
The way that you do that is by masturbating up until a point where you get close to it.
You can start to feel like you're getting close to that, then you stop for long enough
that you lose your action, like chill out, go do something else for a while if you have
to.
Then come back, start stimulating yourself until you get close to that point again.
After you do that a couple of times, first of all, your orgasm is going to be amazing.
One of my clients called it bone crushing, instead it gave him bone crushing orgasms.
The other thing that's going to do if you practice that over a period of time is to
let you know when you're with a lover, when you need to slow down and take a break.
That's going to be the number one way for you to last longer in bed.
Tripp: What I'm hearing while I'm gathering from this, is the idea of being very conscious
and aware of your body.
That's my interpretation.
It sounds like a lot of guys who don't last long in bed is because they're not aware of
how they're feeling, where that point of no return is, and how it feels when they're masturbating
or when they're having sex.
They're more focused maybe on the visual stimulus summarization over something else.
I think what we can take from this, is do these exercises so you can be more aware of
the sensations and getting more in touch with how you're feeling in your body.
Caitlin: Yeah, making that mind body connection.
For a lot of dudes, sex and stimulation is about the penis.
There's not a whole lot of other thought or connection that goes into that.
The stronger that you build a connection between your brain and your dick, the easier it's
going to be for you to control your ejaculation, like to control your entire being.
You do that through breathing, especially when you're having sex with a partner.
If you're focusing more on your breathing than you are on the sensations on your penis,
you are going to automatically be not so focused on the pleasurable sensations, but focused
on your overall experience, on what it feels like in your body.
Tripp: I think you'll probably be tapping into a whole new area of pleasure, that you
didn't even tap into before when you're just focusing on the sex and not the breathing.
This is like basic meditation.
It's using your breathing to be more in the moment.
I think if you try that out, this might be a whole new area for you that you will find
pleasurable.
Caitlin: Yeah.
Just because it seems simple, doesn't mean that people do it.
You can get the edge up on everyone else by putting these things into practice.
They're not all that challenging.
It's to get to be aware of it and actually do it.
What are some other ways when you're in bed with a partner that you can last longer?
The first thing that you can do is remove some of the anxiety and tension from the situation.
If you speak about the concern that you have, that you're not going to last long enough,
that's going to remove a lot of the anxiety from you.
It's like the elephant in the room.
There's a lot of ways that you can do that.
You can say, baby, I'm really excited to be with you.
I want to let you know, I might want to slow down and take a couple of breaks, or I want
to focus on your pleasure first, it's important to you.
Before you even address, before you even allow her to touch you, focus on taking a deep dive
into pleasing her.
When you communicate that, when you say that to her, she's not going to be like, you think
I'm so hot that you might have to take a break?
No woman is going to be offended by that.
In fact, they're going to take it as a compliment.
They're going to be into the fact that you're focused on pleasing her before you are focused
on your own pleasure.
That plays into a whole larger tip, a whole larger tool that you can use in order to last
longer in bed, which is focusing on your female partner’s pleasure.
If you look at sex, not so much as something that a woman gives you, but something that
you are giving to her, and experienced that you are leading this woman through.
Women's brains when they're having sex, it looks similar to when you're in a trance.
You put a woman into a sexual trance.
When you are so focused on her experience and what her body is doing, how it feels for
her, you can help it be a little bit less focused and anxious about your own performance,
which is automatically going to make you a better lover.
What else can you think of does that much than relieving some anxiety?
It's going to make her experience better and more pleasurable.
You're going to be out of your own body, in her body, in your mind, thinking about it,
connecting with her, that's going to make you not just last longer, but ultimately be
a better lover, which is what you want it to be.
Another thing that you can do is to slow down.
A lot of men think about sex as like a penis centric activity.
Everything is foreplay, and there's what it's called P&V, penis and vagina intercourse.
Think about sex as everything from eye contact, think about sex as the entire process of build,
that you're creating.
Women's brains don't make the same kind of divisions between sexy time and not sexy time
that men's do.
You might have done something earlier in the day, maybe you screamed at someone in traffic,
or maybe you screamed at her.
That could be a turnoff for her that's still pushing on her sexual brakes hours later.
Everything between you and the woman that you're getting with is sex.
It's sexual in nature.
Sex doesn't just start the minute that the condom goes on, or that you enter her, sex
is a process.
That's the whole thing, so slow all the way down.
First of all, she's gonna appreciate that.
Women are more like ovens to men's microwaves.
Second of all, if you aren't penis centric, if you think about your whole body is full
of nerve endings and so hers.
You can stimulate a woman with your hands, with your mouth, with your feet, get creative.
If you think about all the different ways that you can give and receive pleasure, and
then you slow down and explore all of them, that's naturally going to give you more time
in the space, in that intimate intense space where you are connecting with her.
Tripp: Basically, you're talking about communicating with your partner, which is a great tip.
What if this is someone that you just met?
Maybe it's the first date?
Maybe it's a girl you just took home from a bar?
Do you feel you should communicate in the same way to them of what's something that
you want to do with a first time lover?
Caitlin: Yeah.
The way that you communicate with someone that you've already been having sex with,
you could be more honest with them.
Tripp: It's a little bit easier that way, but what if it's the first time?
Caitlin: Totally.
I would frame it in a way of like, I'm so excited to be with you.
You're so fucking hot.
I know that I'm gonna bust right away.
I want to go slow with this one.
Be honest, or tell her that you might want to have sex twice.
Get her opinion on that before you start to have sex.
This could be great.
You are so fun that I want to go two times with you, three times with you, whatever,
make it an experience.
We get excited.
That sets up expectations so that she knows, and she's not going to be surprised.
It's going to take so much of that pressure off of you, which is going to feel good in.
Tripp: Okay, cool.
This is all great information, good practical stuff.
Maybe give a quick summary for the guys who watch the video?
What's the next step they do?
Caitlin: Number one, get clear on why it's important for you that you last longer in
bed, tap into your motivation.
When you know why it matters to you, the how is going to be so much easier.
Second thing, change your masturbation habits.
Go slow with yourself.
Learn how to edge, learn where your individual edge is.
Add lots of lube when you masturbate.
Do it in a way that is more similar to what it feels like when you're with a partner,
so you can go more slowly.
The final thing is to communicate.
Be honest like, here's where I'm at, here's what I'm concerned might happen.
You can dress that up depending on your relationship to this woman.
Finally, be less focused on your experience and your concern and way more focused on her
experience.
Be less penis centric and be more about the overall sexual experience.
It isn't what happens when you're in the bedroom that includes everything up until that point.
Tripp: Caitlin works one on one with clients and she helps with not only how to last longer
in bed, but everything related to sex and any sexual issues.
Check out caitlynv.com.
I'm going to put a link in the description below.
If you liked this video, press like.
Also, write a comment below and tell us your experience and any other questions.
I'm going to have Caitlin go in the comments and answer you guys.
Go ahead and write down below.
Caitlin, thanks again.
I'll see you on the next video.