a man walks into a bar in a corner seat
a group of women quietly
judge him he's okay not bad looking but
nothing special
fast forward a couple of hours and those
same women that hadn't shown much
interest in this guy are swooning over
him
they hang on his every word blush when
he looks them in the eyes
and when they leave the bar they think
about him all night long
what's this guy's secret what did he do
that made him so attractive
today we'll reveal all and perhaps you
can also work on being more like him
first of all what's up with looks are
they really that important
okay so this is complicated a group of
young women in one study was asked this
question and they all came back with
different answers
but the main theme was that they weren't
all after that picture perfect guy
in fact many of them said focusing
mainly on the body alone was shallow
this is what one woman said i'm looking
for the personality in the picture of
their body
and i'm not getting that necessarily
from someone that posts a picture of
their washboard abs
while there might be a lot of guys out
there that are obsessed with their
bodies and post pictures of their
post-workout muscles at every
opportunity
most of the women said men's
preoccupation with their bodies doesn't
bode well for a long-term relationship
in fact one woman said this i really
love that dad bods are in
that's the perfect body guys who were
having fun and a little bit of a tummy
a psychologist named jeremy nicholson
wrote in psychology today
that what women find most attractive is
a man that shows some amount of
self-care
he said that a guy who seems like he
takes care of himself might show a woman
that he's capable of taking care of her
and any future children they might have
so it's not about being perfect it's
more about not being a slob
men that really are obsessed with their
bodies might give signs to a prospective
partner
that they care more about themselves
than they ever will about her or future
offspring
sure if the woman is a fitness fanatic
she might well want to date someone
who's also a fitness fanatic but in
general
a man doesn't need a washboard stomach
to attract women magazines and movies
featuring perfect bodies breed in
insecurity and
insecurity is what companies want you to
feel there are some other things too
such as the majority of women are
attracted to men that are taller than
them too
that's not always the case but studies
have shown it's what most women want
as for the face of a man the average
woman will prefer a symmetrical face
this might seem weird but according to
science symmetry of the facial features
is a sign of healthy genes
one scientist wrote that symmetry
suggests fewer genetic and environmental
disturbances such as diseases toxins
malnutrition or
genetic mutations women on average also
tend to be more attracted to men who
have a kind of v-shaped body
rather than an egg shape shoulders that
are quite large and a waste that doesn't
bulge too much
are things that might be attractive but
science also says women tend to focus
less on this than men do
as we said it's more about taking care
of yourself than it is about getting the
perfect body
studies also say that a masculine face
is more attractive to women on average
but that's not always the case research
has shown that men with masculine faces
often give off
signs of dominance to women which could
show they're assertive and competitive
and want to dominate in all they do but
the same research says these types of
men are also assumed to be guys that are
better at a fling a one-night stand
than men with more feminine faces who
women tend to think have high prestige
with their buddies and family
women might want to have a longer term
relationship with these men due to their
psychological attractiveness
intelligence their ability to hold a
conversation and build rapport
sticking with the face there's a lot you
can do to be attractive
studies have shown that women are less
attracted to guys that look stressed out
and don't get enough sleep or look
ragged in general
bags under the eyes are not the best
thing to have for the reason that it
could mean elevated stress hormones
which might relate to not having a great
immune system
one psychologist in scotland explained
it like this women seem to be able to
detect the men who've got the strongest
immune response
and they seem to find them the most
attractive so again taking care of
yourself can be as good as being born
with those chiseled features
as for the hair on your body this seems
to differ from country to country but in
general
women prefer men with not so much body
hair some studies based in china the us
and new zealand
seem to point to this that not much hair
on the chest and other parts of the
trunk was the most attractive to women
although women in britain preferred some
hair as opposed to no hair
in all keeping that hair in check might
be the way to go in one study a large
number of women from turkey and slovakia
were shown pictures of guys with either
bald chests or hairy chests
the men's heads were not in the photos
the thing was it was the same man in
each photo
in one image he had his chest hair and
in the other he'd shaven it off
quite incredibly in both countries only
20 percent of women liked the image of
the man with a hairy chest
still different studies have revealed
different results which has made some
scientists think there's more to this
than meets the eye
perhaps a hairy chest is fashionable
during some periods in certain countries
or perhaps a woman's liking for hair or
no hair is affected by her hormones at
the time of her looking at the pictures
then there's facial hair which some
studies have suggested is attractive to
women if it's well groomed
one australian study found that men with
full beards were designated by female
participants as being mature
aggressive and masculine men with only
light beards were seen as being dominant
and guys with light stubble one out
being the most attractive to the women
in the study it might depend on where
you live too
in some countries beards on men are less
liked than smooth skin
this might just be cultural but it can
also be linked to evolution
scientists say that a full beard could
make women think of hidden ticks and
parasites
in general it seems you can't go wrong
with a neat bit of stubble
although it should not be patchy okay so
to recap
you might have better luck with a woman
who is a bit shorter than you
you don't need to be an adonis but your
chances with women will be better if you
at least groom yourself and get enough
sleep
if you like your beard fine but in
general a bit of stubble is the way to
go
as for that hair on your trunk it seems
a little is better than lots on average
you can't really change your facial
features but rest assured some women
will go for feminine features and others
will go for more masculine features
what's much more important is how you
hold yourself how you speak
what your body movements suggest and how
you come across in general
all these things you can work on okay so
let's imagine you've been using a dating
site
one thing we should point out here is
that an older man gets a larger dating
pool
compared to women of the same age that's
because more women are interested in
older men than men are interested in
older women
according to the experts many women see
older men as more financially stable
more mature and less prone to cheating
so better fathers for children they
might have together
we can't really give you a perfect age
gap though all we can say is if you are
say 35 and she's 25 there's absolutely
no reason you can't have a successful
relationship
and before you start thinking this is
all about daddy issues a study involving
173 women who were dating men 10 or more
years older than them
came to the conclusion that this wasn't
the case many women just like
older guys something that has been
called the george clooney effect
evolutionary psychology research has
said that in general women will look for
a man that's slightly older than her
but you shouldn't sweat it too much
regarding the age gap if it feels right
for you and for her
and you're both adults then go for it
countless studies have shown that age
differences can be just fine
still research has said that the older
male might have to show that not only is
he responsible financially secure
but he may have to have a fair amount of
social charisma this charisma is often
noticeable when women see you interact
with your buddies
it's actually very important not only
what you say to her but what you say to
them
there's a well-known study published in
2010 called men's sense of humor
and women's responses to courtship
solicitations and experimental field
study
basically a scene was set up in which a
guy was with two of his friends in a bar
the guys made themselves noticeable to a
group of women who were sat nearby what
happened next was one guy told the joke
and his friends laughed a lot
notably the jokes were not crude or
sexual in nature later the man who had
told the joke asked one of the women for
her phone number
the same scenario was repeated with
other women except the guy that told the
joke changed the upshot was that the man
who had told the joke had three times
more of a chance of getting that phone
number
later the person conducting the study
asked the women about the men they
agreed that the joke teller seemed more
attractive and more intelligent
showing that you can hold people's
attention showing that you understand
the complexities of life through humor
is definitely attractive it also shows
you might make her laugh
one day or make her children laugh in a
separate study humor was tested again
this is what the researchers wrote in
the conclusion consistent with the
social transformation model of humor
introduced in this article
individuals particularly men expressing
humor were rated as more desirable
than non-humorous individuals for a
serious relationship in marriage
still the study also said that men might
have to be physically attractive
there's also how you interact with
strangers let's say you're on the first
date with a woman and you've decided to
go to a restaurant
what do you think it said to her if
you're rude to the waitress it shows her
that this might be a personality trait
of yours
sure if you show assertiveness and
politely send back some food
it might be attractive to her but being
rude in general is a big turn off
there's something called the halo effect
this means you might just become more
physically attractive to someone because
you showed an attractive personality
trait
in one study called is kindness
physically attractive
women were showed pictures of men except
each picture came with a word that
described the person's personality
sometimes the word would be positive and
sometimes it would be negative
the same pictures had been shown to
participants before except they were
asked to rate the men without any
information about their personality
what happened is if a person had a nice
word under their photo
they were usually given a higher score
for physical attractiveness than if they
had no word at all or a negative word
men were more handsome when they were
deemed good guys one of the researchers
wrote
these findings indicate that human
interior psychology activity
is related to exterior physical features
and that a human is the whole entity of
psychology and physiology
if you think that's a mouthful it just
means you might look more handsome if
she likes the way you are
there was another interesting study
related to this in which students on a
six-week summer archaeology course were
asked to rate the physical
attractiveness of each other on the
first day of class
they then did the same on the last day
and the scores were dramatically
different
one of the researchers said among people
who actually know and interact with each
other
the perception of physical
attractiveness is largely based on
traits that cannot be detected from
physical appearance alone
no doubt a lot of you have already
experienced this because
you've likely met someone who at first
you didn't seem to think was very
attractive at all but as time went on
you
just started to reassess this and tell
your friends actually this person is
really good looking
and you just didn't see it at first
never underestimate personality
a super handsome bully with no sense of
humor and little intelligence might be
able to get a one-night stand every now
and again
but they will definitely not be top of
the list when it comes to long-term
relationships
then you probably all heard about women
who like guys that take risks
maybe guys that act a little rebellious
this is true to some extent
but not if the guy is totally out of
control researchers have said that men
who take
hunter-gatherer risks can come across as
being attractive
in one study women were asked to rate
guys on their behavior they didn't know
that some of the guys were linked to
what researchers called modern risks and
others hunter-gatherer risks the former
was risk-taking related to cheating or
driving without a seat belt
and the latter was more about doing
extreme sports or going alone into a
vast forest
the researchers wrote in their
conclusion results confirmed that modern
risks were rated as unattractive for
both sexes
whereas hunter-gatherer risks were rated
as especially attractive
when performed by males playing it safe
might not always work out the best
but you already know that just have a
brain and don't do something that might
hurt you badly because that also isn't
attractive regarding long-term partners
even scars were preferred in some
studies by women
again likely related to risk-taking and
our past as hunter-gatherers
in one study photos of men were shown to
women and then the same photos were
shown to other women
except a facial scar had been
photoshopped onto the face with the scar
men were ranked higher for short-term
relationships but not long-term
relationships
maybe women don't mind having a fling
with a rough and tumble kind of man
let's face it if you're ever going to
become a father the woman you're with
will want you to be a loving father
someone who puts his family before
anything else
various studies have shown that certain
things you do in life can point to you
being a caring kind of person who has
nurturing qualities
one of them no kidding is just walking
dogs
or being especially playful and
affectionate with them so you meet a
girl in the park while playing around
with a dog that
evidently loves you more than anything
you then went out on a date and made her
laugh while being very friendly and
courteous to the waiting staff
then you dropped the bombshell you do
volunteer work at a local orphanage
another study we found was titled
selflessness is sexy reported helping
behaviors increase desirability of men
and women
as long-term sexual partners it revealed
that altruistic behavior makes a person
attractive
because we've just evolved to think that
the helpers of this world
will be better partners and better
parents these people might also be seen
as having better genes
since they have the strength to make
some sacrifices for others as the
scientists wrote
selflessly helping people gives you
fitness points in this study the
researchers gave photos of people to
others and asked them to rate their
attractiveness
there was daniel who below one photo was
said to work in recruitment like rock
climbing
and watch a lot of tv the next photo of
him said the same except the tv was
changed to working for free in a school
for disruptive kids
he was always ranked as more attractive
when he worked with kids
it was the same for other photos
whenever they volunteered or donated or
sacrificed in another kind of way
they got a higher physical
attractiveness score but please guys
don't go volunteering at the local dog
pound just so you can put it in your
dating profile
you have to mean it of course otherwise
the truth will come out sooner or later
as for those photos you post on those
websites or apps what you're doing means
a lot
various studies have proven that men who
posted photos of themselves next to
expensive cars or outside wonderful
homes
were liked more the very same men not
showing how much cash they had suddenly
became less popular
the thing is faking a photo of you
leaning against a ferrari that isn't
yours
is only going to get you the swipe real
life will have to get in on the act at
some point and if the woman really is
looking for some rich dude and you're
not him
then what a waste of time that's been
for everyone take a nice photo by all
means but keep it real
intelligence in some studies was seen as
more important than just about every
other trait
at least for 10 of women liars lying
against
luxury villas don't exactly come across
as deep thinkers
studies have shown that men who can
write music write books understand
complex science
are very attractive to many women okay
so you can't have it all but please
take some hope here you might not win
any prizes for your looks but if you
know you can be funny at times or you
can impress people with your knowledge
of 17th century european architecture
some of you might not have much cash but
you might have courage and determination
and the will to work hard and at the
same time you might devote much of your
time to helping others
or maybe you don't care much about
material wealth but you have a daring do
spirit which suggests you'll have
amazing adventures with your partner
don't focus only on looks or body or
material things
you are no doubt attractive in your own
way to someone out there
now you need to watch what exactly is an
orgasm or have a look at does size
matter
why size differs by species