Transcriber: Silvia Monti Reviewer: David DeRuwe
(Video) Emma Murphy: Hi guys, my name is Emma, Emma Murphy.
This is Xavier behind me.
I have two children, Xavier and Arabella.
She's seven months.
I've been thinking long and hard
and contemplating whether to post this video.
And I was and I wasn't, and I was and I wasn't.
I finally decided after a lot of thinking
that, yeah, I need to do this for me and my children.
I need to raise awareness to other women out there.
I'm 26, I'm from Dublin, I have two children.
I've been in a relationship for three and a half years
with a guy who I thought was the love of my life.
He was the love of my life.
I loved him with all my heart.
We've had ups and downs.
I'll cherish the ups,
I won't miss the downs.
Unfortunately, last year I found out he cheated on me
with one of his clients.
I found out in June, but he denied it.
She contacted me in November and told me she was pregnant.
So, with the stress, I went into labor early.
My world was turned upside down, as you can imagine.
You think you know somebody, you know?
It was such a hard time for me that -
I loved him so much that I tried to forgive him,
and I gave him another chance, and I took him back.
And unfortunately,
I found out he did it again.
On Father's Weekend, he didn't see us.
He spent his time with somebody else,
and I found out on Friday.
So I went to the gym, and I confronted him.
And he denied it, of course.
And when I threw his phone, he punched me in the face.
And it wasn't the first time.
Last year he split my head open at an event,
and prior to that he punched me as well, and I had a black eye.
And for the last year and a half,
I've been told that I'm paranoid,
I'm a psycho,
I'm nuts.
My insecurities will kill me one day.
Even up until now, he tells me that my insecurity is going to kill me.
And you know what?
After Friday's events, I finally realized that no, this is not acceptable.
No man has any right to put his hand on a woman.
No man at all, no matter how big or how small.
No matter where you're from.
It is not right to raise a hand to a woman.
And it's only now that I've realized that.
I've had the courage to walk away
and to go straight to my family and friends and people who love me.
I had the courage to actually do something about it this time
because, even once, it's unacceptable.
But to be made feel that it is acceptable is even worse.
To be mentally tortured and told you're paranoid or insecure,
that's mental torture.
And no man should do that to any woman.
So now I'm a single mother of two, two gorgeous children.
And unfortunately, when they ask where their daddy is,
he's not going to be around.
He's not going to be here for them anymore.
Our lives are completely torn apart.
And they're going to know that their daddy hit their mommy.
And that's not something that children should see at all.
They shouldn't see any violence.
So if anyone out there is going through
something similar to what I've gone through,
you need to find the courage
and get away from anything that is as unhealthy as violence.
Go to your friends and family, people who love you and care about you,
and talk to them.
But especially if you have children,
it's not a good environment for your children to be around.
No children should see that.
My little fellow is in the back of the car on Friday,
and he's screaming.
And I looked at him, and it broke my heart.
Although he's only 18 months, he shouldn't have to see that.
So if there are any women who feel that they can't get out of a relationship,
that they can't walk away,
if it's not safe, you have to.
And if you are arguing,
and if your guy or your man does hit you or raise a hand to you,
you have to walk away
because more often than not, if it happens once, it will happen again.
So I hope I've raised awareness to some women.
And if it has hit anyone's heart, maybe share the video to them.
Thanks.
(Applause)
(On stage) EM: In 2015, my life changed dramatically.
I sat on my stairs weeping, crying, lost, confused and terrified.
As I sat on my stairs, I began recording.
Recording my thoughts; I was looking for an escape.
An escape to stop me from going back to the hell I was living in my home,
where I was in an abusive relationship that left me with yet another black eye.
As I began recording my thoughts,
there was a million emotions going around my body.
My legs were shaking, ankles banging together.
At the time I'd no idea what day it was,
let alone to try and understand why this video was going so viral.
The minute I pressed "post" on that video, my life changed.
Within minutes, this video was going viral.
Hundreds of views, thousands of views.
And within 24 hours, there were millions of views on this video.
Sorry.
A 26-year-old mother of two -
my babies were aged 7 months and 18 months old at the time -
I knew, deep down, I didn't deserve this.
I knew, deep down, I deserved to be happy.
I knew, deep down, that this was not OK, that this was wrong.
So I took a stand.
I posted this video on social media.
A video I'd no clue would be so powerful.
"How could this be happening?" I asked myself,
"How could this video be going so viral?
I'm just an ordinary girl, and my story is just a story."
To date, that video has been viewed over 50 million times.
Imagine that.
I never would have imagined that.
If you're wondering why it's been viewed so much, so did I.
I can only imagine that people resonated with my story.
That people identified.
We all know of somebody who has been through domestic violence.
Some of the viewers were victims themselves.
Some may have been offenders.
People who claimed they loved and cherished you so much,
but they couldn't control themselves when it came to physical violence.
That video has now been used all around the world as a training tool
in schools, colleges and domestic violence organizations.
It's used every single day to help women who are suffering the same way I was.
It's a real-life powerful tool that has saved lives.
I never set off to create such a powerful tool,
but I am immensely grateful
that so much good has come from so much pain.
It has shown people the science and the effects
of physical, mental and emotional abuse.
I didn't realize it at the time,
but the moment I hit "record," I'd found the power of my voice.
And the moment I hit "post," I discovered the power of social media.
What started off as a call for help from friends and family,
Facebook made available to millions of people,
extending my circle to millions of screens all around the world.
Because without having that platform to voice my story,
I would still be there
in that very unhappy place where I wished I was dead.
I may have never found the courage to walk away.
I would still be crying every single day,
wishing I was dead.
It sounds weird, but my guardian angel came in from a powerful network.
Social media saved my life.
Because, as I said, if it wasn't for social media,
I would probably be dead.
But I'm not.
Gratefully, I am very much alive and very much in action.
Since then, I have used my newly discovered powerful voice
to speak on behalf of every woman and man experiencing domestic violence.
Two years ago, I stood on a stage
at the Third World Women's Conference in the Hague, the Netherlands.
I was looking out over the auditorium of over 1,000 people,
1,000 influential people from all around the world.
The doubt started kicking in.
I started really doubting myself.
My knees were shaking.
I asked myself,
"Can I do this?
Can I deliver?
Can I give the people what they want?"
And then I had a thought,
"It's only 1,000 people.
Emma, you've spoke to millions."
Today, this is my message to women.
If a relationship does not work, walk away.
Fast and steady.
Walk away.
Ask for help.
If you don't have the Internet,
walk outside your house and scream until you seek help.
Talk to family, talk to friends, work colleagues.
Do not shut them out.
And go to the police.
Standing still when there is physical violence
will only get you killed.
Most importantly,
love yourselves more than anything in life.
And teach your children to do the same.
Thank you so much.
(Applause)