Hello my wonderful friend! Today we are going to be talking
about the "once you stop caring she starts chasing" concept
and why it will mess up your life, like permanently. What you are going to
learn today comes from both my insight as a woman
as well as my extensive training and research as a certified
coach. If you want to avoid heartbreak, messing up your relationships, and
frankly just being miserable, make sure you watch to the end
of this video. Not only am I going to be sharing
five reasons the "once you stop caring she starts chasing" concept
is incredibly flawed but I also have some very very special tips at the end
that will help you feel better about this and actually know what to do that
will get results instead. Before we dive in if this is
your first time watching, welcome! My name is Melannie. I'm a
Christian dating coach for men. I help you stop wasting your time and
stop wasting your money on dead end relationships by learning
the skills you need to actually get your ideal girlfriend.
And I'm not just talking a girlfriend, I'm talking about your
dream girl. So if that sounds like something you want
make sure you subscribe, ring that notification bell, and give me a big
thumbs up. All right let's talk. The internet is full right now
of so many people saying "get her to chase you. Stop caring
and she'll chase you. And once you walk away
she'll chase you." And the truth is guys this will mess up your life, okay? This
will not lead you to happy relationships. This is a terrible terrible tactic.
In all honesty it will wreck your life if you keep doing it.
The only way to get a happy relationship is to stop doing it
and I have five reasons for you today that explain
why. Ready to dive in? Let's get started. Reason number one is that the whole
concept of one person chasing the other is
actually flawed. It does not lead to a happy relationship.
I'm going to illustrate for you with my hands. Pretend
that my fingers are people, okay? As long as one person
is chasing the other you never get together, right?
It never connects. A healthy relationship, a happy relationship,
has two people who come together. They're close.
A relationship where one is chasing the other,
there's no closeness, there's no connection. So a real
relationship, a happy relationship, the relationship everybody wants deep down,
cannot be achieved if one is chasing the other. Instead you have to mutually
move towards each other. Does that make sense?
With this being said you guys know if you've been following my channel
for a while that I do teach you about the importance of pursuing.
That is completely different than chasing. And as a woman
there are certain things women have to do to in their own way pursue you
as well, be invested in this relationship. The very nature of chasing is that one
person is running away and the other person is trying to keep
up with them, trying to get their attention.
And that's not a happy relationship, right? Who in the world
want to be in a relationship like that? The truth is it's exhausting,
it's not happy, and it's just not fun. The second reason the "once you stop
caring she starts chasing" concept is flawed and will mess up your life is
it actually doesn't lead to a lifelong relationship.
Again if you've been following me for a while you know one thing that sets
my channel apart from pretty much everything else on the
internet is that I teach you how to have a lifelong relationship, that
crazy happy relationship. You know those cute
old people who are like crazy in love in their 90s? Yeah I'm
talking that kind of relationship. What most
people are teaching on the internet right now
is a whole bunch of mind games, a whole bunch of tricks. And
yeah they're effective if you're looking for one night fling,
okay? I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you. But if you're trying to get that
lifelong happy relationship it's not going to work. Pay close
attention because this is actually going to comfort you
so much. Any woman, any good, real woman who is sincere,
really what she wants is she just wants you to love her and she just wants to
love you and she just wants to know who you are
and she just wants you to know the real her and she wants just a crazy, happy,
honest, open, relationship. And any relationship that is playing these
mind games and making you chase her and her chase you and "now I can't talk to
you and now you can't talk to me" that's not sincere, that's not honest,
that's not open, it's exhausting. And so what it's going to do is those
sincere awesome women it's going to repel them. They're not
going to be interested, they're going to walk away. Now if this has not been your
experience up to this point then it's because you've been attracting
toxic women which is a terrible terrible hamster wheel. Seriously it's
awful. Be sure to watch this video and it will help you so much
with this. As long as you're attracting toxic women
you're never going to attract the type of woman you really
want. If you want that long lasting happy relationship
the "once you stop caring she starts chasing" concept
is not going to cut it for you. Now real fast I want to answer this question
because I know you guys are going to ask it.
"Okay so I'm starting to see why this is actually a terrible idea, right? I'm
starting to see why this will not work. Well, what's going to work instead?"
The truth is guys that's exactly what I'm here for. I've actually put together
a free masterclass for you that teaches you
exactly what you need to do to get your ideal girlfriend. Stop wasting time with
these games and these silly tricks and just know exactly what does work.
There's a link in the description below, I also put a link
in the pinned comment. You'll learn the biggest mistakes that will keep you
single forever, you'll learn why you are not getting
your ideal girlfriend and what to do instead
to get her. As well as my five-step framework I teach my paid clients to get
their ideal girlfriends. So you're going to want to make sure you
check out that masterclass. Again it's totally free, there's a link in the
description and a link in the pinned comments. Reason number three is that it
actually attracts the wrong kinds of women.
This whole "once you walk away she starts chasing" does actually attract some women.
I will be completely honest with you it does, but
they are toxic women, they are drama queens.
I'm gonna put a graph up on the screen for you. This is what most people think a
normal relationship looks like. It's got some pretty high highs, right?
But it's also got some pretty awful lows and
it's not really progressing, it's not really going anywhere.
But this is what most people think that's just how it is. Up,
down, up, down, hot, cold, hot, cold. The truth is
that is actually not what a relationship should look like. Here's another graph.
This is what a relationship should look
like. It just goes up. It just progresses. You
just get closer and closer like I talked about,
you just get more and more in love. Yes you are going to have good days and you
are going to have bad days. That is life. And you're going to have
things you need to work through. But ultimately you are always
moving in an upward direction. That is why again
this whole concept of making her chase you
is not going to lead to a lifelong relationship. It's going to have those
serious ups and downs and mess up your relationship and ultimately your
life. Real women, the type of woman you actually want to grow old with,
she doesn't have time for that first graph.
She doesn't have time for all that drama and those ups and downs and guessing and
trying to figure it out. She doesn't have time for that
so she will actually walk away from that. A woman like that, if he starts
"stop caring, playing it aloof" she's going to turn
around and she's going to walk away because she's looking for sincerity,
she's looking for honesty. It's not going to work on her. But the
other women, they love drama. And so that up and down
system is exactly what they're looking for. So you are going to attract
toxic women. And whenever you're in a relationship with a toxic person
it's a toxic relationship. It's hurtful, it's painful,
and it's miserable. One of the biggest things to remember is if a relationship
starts with mind games and tricks that is how it will end. One way or
another that is how it will end. Either you will
have to do that your entire married life to keep her
interested in you or as soon as the games stop she's gone.
She's gonna cheat on you, she's gonna break up with you,
she's gonna break your heart, whatever it is, she's done,
because ultimately she's only in this relationship for those games.
Is this making sense so far? Are you guys enjoying this video? I want to hear from
you in the comments. Be sure to let me know.
And if you would like more videos on how to have
like a good relationship and a lifelong relationship
be sure to comment "YES!" in the comments below. Seriously guys thank you so much
for commenting, letting me know what you guys would like to see more of.
This helps me so much as I'm preparing new content for you.
So also if you have any other videos you would like to see
be sure to tell me about that in the comments as well. Reason number four the
"once you stop caring she starts chasing" concept
is completely flawed is that many women will respond to that. They
they will, but it's because of ego. I have talked to
some toxic women who have openly said "well he
can't break up with me. I have to break up with him." So yeah,
she'll play the game to get you back, again she's a drama queen,
she's got tons of ego, so yeah she'll try to get you back, she'll start
chasing you, just so she can be the one to break up
with you. That is a very hurtful cycle that sadly happens
over and over again. Again this is something toxic women do because those
are the only types of women you're going to attract
if you're trying to make her chase you. So be sure to watch
this video as well on toxic women. Seriously
it's going to help you so much. It's pretty much a good life skill to know
how to identify toxic women. But so many women who are toxic "no
he can't break up with me. I have to break up with him." And so once you stop
caring and walk away she'll chase you only until she gets you back and then
she's gonna play with you and break up with you. She will make you pay for
making her chase you. On the other side, the
sincere loving awesome woman you are looking for,
you start playing those games with her and she's done.
She's gone, it's over. And our fifth reason
is honestly that it's immature. Point blank, it just is.
Even if you happen to be the almost impossible exception where she is not
toxic, it's still immature, it's still not a good idea. If you go
into a relationship with this concept and playing these
games you are not setting your relationship up
on a good foundation at all. You are starting your
relationship on games. Which means your relationship
started with you guys messing with each other's heads. Where's
the honesty in that? Where's the integrity in that? Where's the sincerity
in that? There isn't any, right? How can there be
trust in a relationship when it starts with you messing with
each other's heads? If you want a long lasting happy
relationship you've got to be mature. Now that's it for our five reasons however
there are two very important points I need to make before we end this video.
Number one: the reason the whole "make her chase you" concept
is very very attractive to a lot of men is frankly because you've been played.
Maybe you're thinking that as you watch this video, right? You've been hurt,
you've been burned, and so the thought process is
"well I'm never being burned again. I don't want to be rejected anymore, I
don't want to be embarrassed anymore, so I'm going to make her
chase me." Remember though just like I showed you earlier with my fingers
that's not how a relationship works. If one's chasing
you never come together. You have to mutually
come together. So as long as one person is doing the chasing
it's not going to work and it's not going to lead you to that relationship.
Also realize that if you've been played, if you've been hurt, if you've been
burned, it's for two reasons. One, you are
attracting the wrong types of women, and/or two, you don't have the
relationship skills you need to get that incredible relationship.
Again this is why I created my masterclass,
was just for you. So check out the link in the
description below and in the pinned comment
and you're going to learn what is stopping you from having that ideal
relationship and how to instead move forward so you
can get that long-term crazy happy relationship. So if
you're sick of being burned, if you're sick of being rejected, if you're sick of
being embarrassed and wasting your time and money,
make sure you check out that link right now. The second thing I really need you
to know is this whole concept of "once you stop
caring she starts chasing" is not completely flawed if
by stop caring you mean stop obsessing. It is true that someone who is
confident, someone who is self-assured, and someone
who is not obsessed and needy, yeah that's very attractive and women
are going to be drawn to that. As a matter of fact if
you are needy and obsessed and all that yeah
you're actually going to push women away because it comes across as
creepy and makes her uncomfortable. So there is some truth to it if you mean
don't be obsessed, don't be needy. But if you mean act aloof and play hard
to get and all that yeah it is not remotely effective. If you
have been struggling with feeling needy and kind
of hovering and being obsessed then again
my masterclass is for you as well. I specifically put this together
so you guys would have one video you could go to just get solid answers and a
solid game plan. So make sure you click that link and
join us over there. Thank you so much again for watching my
wonderful friend! If you enjoyed what you saw be sure to give me a big thumbs up.
And if you haven't yet subscribe and ring that notification
bell. And I want to hear from you in the comments. Be sure to comment "YES!"
if you would like to see more videos just like this one and
I would love to hear if you have ever experienced any of these
scenarios. Have you ever experienced women who have played you this way?
I want to know about it in the comments below. If you have a friend
who's been really struggling to get his ideal girlfriend
please share this with him. I know it would help him so much.
If we're not yet friends on social media be sure to check out the links for that
in the description below as well. Thank you so much again
my amazing friend and have an amazing day! [blooper beep] [singing] Here we go!
Is that 90s? I don't even know what that is. Anyway, okay, here we go.
I'm a little nervous about this one. Haters are gonna hate,
and they're gonna have miserable relationships [laughter] The end. But
ultimately you're always moving in an upward... [pause]
direction. I couldn't think of that word.