- [Narrator] China loves spirits.
The most popular, by far, is the national drink, baiju,
followed by whiskey, brandy, and rum.
But we're not swimming in the mainstream today.
No, siree.
We're going to strange and even questionable corners
of the red dragon.
Before we do that though, subscribe to our channel,
and click that bell button.
We promise your feed won't be the same again.
All right, visit any self-respecting grocery store in China
and veer into the booze aisle.
You'll find alcoholic concoctions
with added medicinal ingredients.
Mouse wine has a dead mickey floating in alcohol,
and it supposedly clears up winds
and improves blood circulation.
Then there's cobra wine,
with an honest-to-God snake in it, also dead.
Hopefully.
It should fix your eyesight and hair loss.
Then there's te zhi san bian jiu.
Sounds delicious, right?
Oh, sorry.
It's three-penis wine, in English.
You heard us.
This very real drink contains not one or two animal dongs,
but three.
One from a seal, one from a deer, and one from a dog.
We know it sounds like a plot from a 90s comedy
starring Seann William Scott,
but according to traditional Chinese medicine,
it jacks up your libido and supercharges your soldier.
Sure, real players use tiger penis,
but since it costs $5000,
mere mortals have to settle with a $20 bottle
of three dink drink.
Now, te zhi san bian jiu is basically rice wine
that has the three animal penises brewed into it.
They also add ginseng and some herbs to it,
and bottle it at around 30% ABV.
It tastes like Port wine that's gone really bad,
with notes of tangy vinegar and prune juice.
Those who have tried it report that it's easy to drink
and even a bit sweet.
So, not great, not terrible.
Smart people will say, "Okay, but why is a three dick wine
"better than a single dick one?"
Well, the penises from a seal and a dog
are said to be therapeutic,
but the superstar of this recipe is the deer penis.
It allegedly helps your kidneys, strengthens your yang,
and puts more lead to your pencil.
You can take a guess which benefit is the one that sells.
Experts on such remedies say one should not binge
on three-penis wine.
Young fellas aren't supposed to use it at all,
while older guys should drink only a tip.
Sorry, a sip.
Apparently it's a very potent potion,
but it's not clear what calamity happens
if you gulp it down at once.
The things people do for a boner.
Even though this booze Viagra helps many a man,
and even though it is a fun novelty
to bring back from China as a souvenir,
it's also quite bad for the beast in question.
Wildlife conservation societies
warn that claims about virility-boosting is fake news
and it only hurts animals.
It's not clear how many seals, deer, and dogs
go into the production of san bian jiu,
but rhinos, whose horns are used in similar drinks
for the very same purpose,
are on the brink of extinction.
Now, we're not doctors, obviously.
There are numerous anecdotes
that support the penis enhancement claims,
but science is pretty clear.
It's all wishful thinking,
and at best, a placebo.
We'd stick to dick-free spirits,
but if you try the three-penis wine,
do tell us what it tasted like, or if it worked,
in the comments below.
Cheers.
(lasers buzzing)