you know in genesis hey guys she makes this statement she says you are the god who sees
me and then she goes on to make another statement and she says have i truly seen the one who sees me
and i thought that was so amazing because it was like i never thought god saw me you know just to
read that story and to know that god can see you and there's a word a name that god has it's el
rohi uh it says it's the god that sees you and it made me think back over my life how you know
growing up i struggled with feeling like i was never smart enough or i wasn't intelligent and i
wasn't able to accomplish some things that others could you know accomplish and then i get married
at the age of 20 and that's just really send me into this bewilderment if you will just stupor
to make me feel like um i wasn't good enough for anything not even good enough for god to see me
and i remember having this encounter with god i was sitting on the side of the beach and god
began to minister to me while i was ministering to god i guess and i was talking to him and my
husband was getting ready to go you know scuba diving and i wanted to go but i wasn't licensed
and so he's getting ready to go in the water and i'm like okay god i'm so done with everything i'm
done with life i'm done with him i don't even want to be sitting here with him while he's going scuba
diving i can't even do this and so god tells me he says well you can fix it and so my thought
was okay i'ma fix it i'm gonna tell him he just can't go scuba diving anymore god was like no
if you want to fix it you're gonna have to go and get licensed and so i'm saying oh okay i
do have that authority well god begin to talk to me even more and say yes not even just in
scuba diving but i have given you the keys to the kingdom you can fix everything about your life
and it i mean really it was so much revelation to me it was like god you do see me you have not
forgotten about me i am not a mistake and i mean it really began to allow me to see myself through
the lenses of god if you will to know that i am somebody i am created in this image i can conquer
all but i had to really change my perspective on life and how you know because i was sitting back
waiting and crying begging god to fix things and god is saying look i've already fixed it now you
do something you know but i didn't know he i was included in being able to fix it yeah i mean like
have any of you ever gone through that where you thought god you don't see me i'm invisible
it's too many people for you to help for me i had an incident where we have four sons and our third
son when he was six months old he got sick he had a fever i rushed him to the hospital and he had
spinal meningitis he literally coded he died and he was resuscitated this little baby
and it was this horrific experience and what happened in that moment was
i became the mom of a child who had a whole set of special needs i was 33 years old and i thought
this can't be happening to me you know and i remember as i walked out that journey i had a
moment where i thought to myself hey god do you see me do you know where i am did you forget about
my little baby graham and you just forgot did you see that i was doing everything i could to be the
best christian and i was trying to be a good wife and i was trying to be a good mom and the kid
still got sick and he still coded and he still went to the hospital and they still said hey pray
that he dies that's what the doctor actually came and told me but instead in god's in god's mercy
i took home a little baby and i began an entire life of being the mom of a special need child
with brain damage as a result of special um circumstances right so i guess what i've learned
is that god sees me and yet when he's seeing me i have to be willing to say all right lord i'm here
and i'm going to accept and i'm going to be calm and man this is a lot to talk about that when you
see me i have to accept the idea that i can trust you that i am and i this is the verse
that really hit me i'm god's masterpiece that he created in christ jesus with good things that he
planned for us that's ephesians 2 10. and so my thought was he sees me i'm still a masterpiece
my child who's broken he's a masterpiece and that question of when all this stuff happens
god are you seeing me and of course i love that story that dede talked about that hagar said
yes god sees me in my distress and he comes to me in my moment when i cry out to him and god
did that for me that's my testimony that baby by the way he's 34 years old and he
is doing good we're so thankful for graham god used him in many ways but god sees us god sees us
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