Hey guys, welcome back. Thanks for joining me for another video
I am super excited about this week's topic because I really want to start getting into more self-love practices
and the reason why this is so important is self-love is a very
Broad term that we tend to use sometimes so really what the basis of is is how we take care of ourselves
Physically, spiritually emotionally and mentally, right. How do we talk to ourselves? How do we love ourselves in every single moment?
And so I've made a few videos on this topic. I talked a lot about how to build your self confidence
Self parenting. I mean we've gotten into like a lot of different stop learning about narcissism learning about emotional abuse. Yeah. Yeah
yeah, it's self development, but
really understanding all of
These things under that umbrella of self-love is huge because it allows you to pinpoint
Okay
What are the key areas in my life that I need to focus on right now life is always
changing and there always gonna be areas of your life that you're trying to focus on to get better in and
This is a great place to start
So before we get into all of these self-love practices that I'm just dying to go over with you guys
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Yeah, I so I hope you enjoy this video and let's get started
So the first thing we're gonna get into is gratefulness. And the reason why this is so important is because
- in order to really take care of yourself in order to be in a good mental and emotional state
You have to be grateful. Would you be grateful for you? Have you can't always live in the well, I don't have this
I'm not there yet
you know just this place of
Negative garbage and energy just because you don't have what you want in life
You know, this is the whole quote where it's not the journey
It's the destination bla bla bla kind of stuff, but it's really true
I believe that it's important to always be wanting more for yourself
Right like want more for yourself want a bigger house want a better car wanna?
you know get a degree you want to
have the job that you've always wanted but in the midst of
Getting to where you would like to be right now
You also have to enjoy where you are because you're not gonna you have no control over life and you can't control
Getting to that place as quickly as you want to get there
So in the midst of this ride that you're on you might as well. Have a good time
And so from me having a good time is being grateful as practicing gratitude as much as you possibly can
thinking about all the things all the people all the
opportunities
everything that you have in your life right now that someone else would die to have
And I think that and just being happy with where you are
Will I mean that look at that beam of light it just like came in?
It was like ah the heavens a hundred percent agreeing with me gratitude
radiates that positive
glowing energy within
anyone
So it's such a powerful thing to
Practice every single day and it's something that is a part of self-love because it is you loving yourself
It's you not putting so much pressure on yourself to be perfect to have it all and that you are
grateful for where you are and what you have right now cuz really this moment is all we have so the next thing is don't
attach to every thought that you have and I talk about this so much throughout this channel is
Attaching to every when we begin to attach to our thoughts every thought that we have I mean hello anxiety. Hello stress
Hello fear. Hello panic attacks. Hello depression. We're attaching to every single thing that's running through our mind
I mean that would make anyone crazy. So learning how to
Want monetarist our thoughts right and being able to say ugh, look there's fear. Okay, here's stress
okay worries starting to come at me being aware of what we tell ourselves in every single moment that will allow us to pick the
Thoughts that we want to really believe in and engage it and the thoughts that don't need our attention
Fear unless you know
It's a burning building for the most part the fear that I'm always talking about does not require
you to attach to it to engage with it to sit in it to
Contemplate it to replay it over and over and over again. So learning not to
Attach to every single thought that comes through your mind and recognizing that you are not your thoughts is really part of self love
It's the it such an important aspect towards self parenting and it's something that when you start really doing this you will
number one
recognize how powerful it is to
Attach to thoughts and when you are attaching to thoughts what that actually creates for you
like I said
Anxiety and panic attacks and nervousness and nervous belly and all of these things that we can control if we master this one simple principle
So the next thing is stop the self-criticism. So this is the perfectionist
Hi, I'm Stephanie. Nice to meet you. I'm a perfectionist at times
This is the inner critic of I got to do this the right way. I got to do this. Perfect
I have to give this I have to be everything. You know, I'm not good enough. I'm not thin enough. I'm not pretty enough
I'm not smart enough
I'm not gonna pass this test like all of that negative garbage that we tell ourselves day in and day out
Are we going to continue to say those things to ourselves even if we begin to have self-awareness?
probably because you have an ego and you do have wounds and you have things within yourself that most likely these are things that
It is a life journey to practice, you know
Self-development is a life journey and learning these things
while you can heal
Wounds and they become faint sometimes the scars of a wound are just always gonna be with you and it's about learning life skills
in order to deal with that scar that you know might bleed every now and then because that's the ups and downs of life and
so the self-criticism
Will we recognize or will we never say anything that's criticizing ourselves ever again? Probably not but this is really about
Recognizing when it happens in choosing either to engage with it. Yeah. You're right when I did that wow, man
I was terrible. Yeah, I suck. Yep. I failed that last test and I'm probably gonna fail this one too again
It's about engaging do we engage?
with these thoughts do we you know when that thought comes in of oh
We're not good enough or we're not pretty enough or we're not then this enough and we begin
criticizing and nitpicking and being that perfectionist do we
Jump on that horse and ride it or do we learn how to get off the horse?
And give ourselves those affirmations parent ourselves be good to ourselves
Because that's what we would be to someone else and that's what we need to be for ourselves as well
The next thing is taking care of our bodies. And again, this is basic stuff, but let's be really honest with ourselves
I'm sure there are some of you out there that are like I eat very well
I exercise regularly and all that stuff and that's great amazing
this is not the area of self-love that you probably need to tend to but
There are a lot of others that
don't focus on our diets that don't are not aware of the foods that we're putting in our bodies and
Physical exercise and nutrition is absolutely I mean, it's just important. It's basic, right?
We know this we know that sugar is bad for us. We know that overindulging and something isn't good enough isn't good for ourselves
So learning how to take care of our our bodies better and really make it a point
just make it a point to do it every single day to eat a little bit more of the things that you know,
You should be eating to maybe stay away from something that you know
You should be staying away from if we if there are addictions involved sugar is definitely something that you can be addicted to
Hi, my name is Stephanie and at times I didn't - sugar I love it. I love sweets but
recognizing like okay
I
Can't over indulge because I've been doing it a lot lately and I need to get back on the treadmill and I need to go
Work out again, you know the physical physical exercise isn't for me
It's not just about being into CrossFit and getting crazy and being a gym rat. It's just about moving your body
So moving your body can be something as simple as hey I go on a two-mile walk every single day
nature fresh air all these things are really really good for us mentally and emotionally as well and I don't think people
Really realize the importance of these things and how much they actually do affect your mind
your body your mood everything the next thing that kind of goes along with the self-criticism really just goes under the heading of
Self-talk. Watch what you say to yourself
so be
aware of the stories that you tell
yourself in every single moment as much as you possibly can remember like I always say your thoughts are either gonna help you they're gonna
Make you feel good
They're gonna motivate you to inspire you then you you they're gonna just make you feel good or they're gonna scare you that's it
They're gonna make you nervous thinkin make you fearful. They're gonna make you anxious they make you feel like you're not good enough, so
Recognizing. Okay who's talking right now? Is that the good angels with a bad angel?
Like I always like to say and recognizing here comes a bad angel. He's given me all of the self-criticism and
being aware of like okay, I'm not gonna engage in that conversation and you know giving yourself those positive affirmations, which is another
Hugely important thing towards self-love you should be doing affirmations
Especially if you've been coming out of abusive relationship a terrible marriage or whatever, even if you're just down in the dumps
Even if you're just going through something really like okay
I'm depressed and I'm not saying that
Affirmations are gonna be the thing that's gonna cure you and make you feel absolutely amazing for the rest of your life
No self development healing all of these things. It's
Multifaceted there are a lot of things that you have to do. It's not just one thing
It's not listening to a motivational speaker. Every single day is gonna be the thing. It's not doing affirmations up
I did them four times a day. Why am I not healing yet? It's not just about those one things but affirmations are
really really essential
towards getting those good thoughts into that subconscious because right now they're not there and
for me, I still do them and I've been doing this for
many many years now and at times I'm like
You know what? I need to get back to the basics, and I need to start doing some affirmations
I need to do some meditations and get and get you know, Louise Hay back on my playlist and start listening to her again
So absolutely important watch what you tell yourself the next thing towards really learning how to love yourself is
Getting out of your comfort zone
and the reason why I say this is because in order to really love and nurture yourself and
You know move along this journey called life right where we want to
Get better and challenge ourselves and grow and develop and get the things that we want and strive for more just all of this
Development work right getting out of your comfort zone doesn't have to mean okay, I'm gonna go jump out of an airplane
It could just mean you know, what when I go out to dinner tonight
I'm gonna talk to someone I'm gonna make it a point to just look at someone in the eyes and just smile
That's something that I always tell my clients
Look when you go out how many people I'm sure you guys know this how many people don't
Look at each other in the eyes
you know if you're walking and someone's walking past you do you make eye contact with that person or do you go and just put
Your head down
So make it a point to do something that pushes yourself a little bit out of your comfort zone and maybe it is
Doing a big adventure right? Maybe it is going on a trip. Maybe it is jumping out of an airplane. Maybe it is, you know
Asking that girl at work if she wants to have a drink that you're into and you feel like she's into you whatever it is
Whatever, you know right now in your life would push yourself a little further
It's so important to do these things you guys because this is stuff that really builds your self-confidence
And we've all done it
We've all done something that has gotten ourselves out of our comfort zone and when we did it we were like wow I actually did
That like that's amazing
And that's the elevation of who you are meant to be by challenging yourself and pushing yourself out of those small comfort zones
So the next thing is stop comparing yourself to other people and the reason why I put this on this list
under self-love is because comparison is
the absolute killer towards really
loving yourself right accepting yourself and
the reason being
you can be comparing yourself to other people you could be comparing yourself to where you think you should be at this point in your
Life and that's not you loving yourself
That's basically telling yourself that you're not good enough
and
That it's not okay where you are right now that you need to be here or you need to be like Jodi because she's married
And she has kids and you know, I wanted kids and I want to get married too
But I'm not there and comparing ourselves in that facet comparing ourselves on social media comparing ourselves to you know
I wanted to be here in my life
I was there and now I'm not because now I'm divorced like all of that
comparison doesn't allow you to truly be happy and in the moment and love yourself because
Where you are right now is not. Okay. It's not good enough. That's basically what you're telling yourself. So you're being that demanding
Abusive parent to yourself by not loving yourself for everything that you are right now
understanding that there is no one else in the world like you when you
Really like think about that for a second
There's no one in the world like you
So if that is the case
there is no need to ever compare yourself to anyone else and
it doesn't make any sense to ever compare where you are in life to where someone else is in life because
Everyone is on a different life journey and while we can compare ourselves to maybe our friend Susie who's married and maybe we're going through
A divorce so we're not married yet or whatever the situation is
Even you know the smoke and mirrors on social media where we're you know looking at our X on social media
We're like, oh look, they're just so happy and I'm not and I'm still single all of that comparison it
Doesn't number one. It doesn't do you any good
So recognize when you're indulging in a negative behavior, that's actually going to hurt you later on
It's almost like knowing that the stove is hot and you just go up to the stove and touch in
Anyways, we know something is not gonna help you. Why would you do it also?
Recognizing that everyone is on their own life journey
So while Susie might be in a happy marriage and maybe you're struggling right now in your relationship
Susie's also going through something in her own life as well that you're not going through because
That's not a part of your life journey and not that that should make you happy by focusing on someone else's misery
but it just makes everyone human at the end of the day because
We all are we all have stuff and everyone is going through something in a moment
That maybe someone else is not I think I can honestly talk
Forever and ever and ever about this topic, but one of the things that I really wanted to emphasize in this video
and I just touched on a few things, you know, I could easily say
you know do
Meditations take a bubble bath and go get some new clothes and like all of that kind of stuff
All that stuff is really really important. Don't get me wrong
but the point this is to understand that self-love is a
practice a
Daily practice that you will do for the rest of your life and at times like I said in the beginning of this video there
Going to be times in your life where there's going to be an area that you really need to focus on maybe right now
You don't get a lot of quality time and so really carving out 15 minutes every single day, you know
Maybe you're a single mother with four kids and you're working, you know, 12-hour days and or whatever it looks like for you
Maybe that's the thing that if you can find that window for yourself because you never have that alone time
May be the thing for you is working on the self-talk maybe for someone else. Maybe it is the physical body. Maybe it's recognizing
Wow, I don't physically take care of myself at all
I don't feed myself good foods
And I really need to get on a health plan and begin dieting or feeling better about myself or whatever
Quit smoking or anything like that
So there are so many facets to self-love but really what it means is learning how to take care of yourself
So think about what are the areas? I actually would love to get your feedback
What are the areas in your life that you know that you need to focus on under this umbrella of self-love?
So please comment down below
Like I said, I hope that you have enjoyed this video
If you have don't forget to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to this channel, and I will see you next week