PREFAME DAYS AS A HAIRSTYLIST AND TALKS CANDIDLY ABOUT DEALING
WITH ADDICTION, ABUSE, AND A
LIFE CHANGING HIV DIAGNOSIS.
WE’RE GOING TO TALK WITH HIM IN
A MOMENT.
A MOMENT. FIRST, HERE’S A LITTLE MORE ON
JONATHAN’S JOURNEY.
JONATHAN’S JOURNEY. JONATHAN VAN NESS IS BEST KNOWN
AS THE HAIR AND GROOMING GURU ON
QUEER EYE.
QUEER EYE. >> IT’S NOT VANITY, IT’S
SELF-CARE AND THERE’S A
DIFFERENCE.
DIFFERENCE. >> HE’S THE BREAK OUT STAR KNOWN
FOR LAUGHS, FASHION AND FUN.
BUT LONG BEFORE VAN NESS WAS AN
EMMY AWARD WINNER, THE
SELF-PROCLAIMED FIGURE SKATING
AND GYMNASTIC ENTHUSIAST WAS
STRUGGLING TO FIND HIS WAY,
GROWING UP GUY IN QUINCY,
ILLINOIS.
ILLINOIS. VAN NESS IS TAKING A SERIOUS
TURN IN A NEW MEMOIR, OVER THE
TOP, DETAILING HIS JOURNEY,
SHARING DEEPLY PERSONAL DETAILS
OF ENDURING SEXUAL ABUSE AS A
CHILD, BEING BULLIED IN HIGH
SCHOOL AND A DOWNWARD SPIRAL
INTO DRUG ADDICTION.
SEVEN YEARS AGO AT THE AGE OF
25, HE RECEIVED NEWS THAT WOULD
CHANGE HIS LIFE.
HE WRITES, WHEN I GOT HIV I FELT
THAT I WASN’T ALLOWED TO BE SEEN
AS SEXY OR DESIRABLE.
I HAD TO WORK SO MUCH HARDER TO
FALL IN LOVE, AND ACCEPT WHERE
I’D COME FROM IN MY LIFE, AND
FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ALL THE
DECISIONS I HAD MADE TO GET
THERE.
THERE. SPARING NONE OF THE HARDEST
DETAILS, HOPING TO MAKE A
DIFFERENCE BY SHARING HIS
JOURNEY, VAN NESS SAYS THIS BOOK
IS A RAW JOURNEY TO SELF-LOVE,
EXPLAINING THAT IT’S NOT GOING
TO BE PRETTY, BUT IT IS MY TRUTH
AND IF I DON’T SHARE IT, I WON’T
BE ABLE TO HELP OTHERS.
JONATHAN, GOOD MORNING.
>> GOOD MORNING.
>> YOU OKAY.
>> YES.
>> YES. >> IT’S A BIG DAY.
>> IT IS A BIG DAY.
>> YOU HAVE YOUR BOOK OUT, AND
WHAT YOU HAVE ESSENTIALLY DONE
IS TAKEN YOUR HEART, PUT IT ON
THIS PAGE AND HANDED IT OUT AND
SAID THIS IS ME.
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE IN THIS
MOMENT TO BE PUTTING THE MOST
INTIMATE PARTS OF YOUR LIFE OUT
THERE FOR PEOPLE TO SEE?
>> WELL, THIS IS A GOOD SENTENCE
TO DESCRIBE IT, LIN MANUEL
MESSAGES ME ON TWITTER THIS
MORNING, AND THAT’S ALWAYS A
SURREAL EXPERIENCE IN AND OF
ITSELF, SENDING YOU SOME LOVE.
I’M SURE IT’S A CRAZY TIME, AND
I SAID THANK YOU SO MUCH, DOING
WELL, IT’S VERY TWILIGHT ZONE UP
IN HERE, WAS EXACTLY WHAT I SAID
RIGHT BEFORE THIS.
IT FEELS KIND OF TWILIGHT
ZONISH, BUT I HAVE THIS VERY
CALM SENSE OF I DID THIS FOR A
REASON AND IT’S, I STAND BY
THOSE REASONS AND I THINK IT IS
REALLY IMPORTANT FOR ME TO SPEAK
ABOUT THESE -- TO SPEAK ABOUT
THE THINGS I HAVE TALKED ABOUT
IN THIS BOOK.
I THINK IT WAS THE RIGHT THING
TO DO.
TO DO. >> SOME PEOPLE SAY WHEN YOU TELL
THE TRUTH, YOU FEEL CALM BECAUSE
YOU KNOW IT’S YOUR TRUTH, AND
SEVEN YEARS AGO, YOU WERE A
HAIRSTYLIST IN ST. LOUIS, YOU
WERE DOING SOMEONE’S HAIR, IT
WAS JUST ANOTHER RANDOM DAY IN
YOUR LIFE, AND YOU FAINTED AND
THAT WAS THE DAY THAT REALLY
EVERYTHING CHANGED.
EVERYTHING CHANGED. TAKE ME THROUGH THAT DAY, WHAT
HAPPENED.
HAPPENED. WHAT DID YOU LEARN THAT DAY?
>> WELL, I WAS TRYING TO, YOU
KNOW, PUSH THROUGH.
I HAD LIKE NOT BEEN FEELING
AMAZING, AND SO I WAS DOING A
VERY GOOD CLIENT’S HAIR, I
TALKED ABOUT HER IN THE BOOK.
SHE WAS ONE OF THE THREE OR FOUR
LIKE FAITHFUL, LOYAL CLIENTS WHO
I HAD IN ST. LOUIS.
IT WAS KIND OF A ROUGH GO, AND I
WAS LIKE, LET ME JUST, YOU KNOW,
PULL THIS PARTIAL HIGHLIGHT
TOGETHER AND BE ABOUT MY DAY,
AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW I WAS
ON MY BACK ON THE GROUND, I WAS
LIKE WHERE AM I AND I WAS LIKE
THIS FEELS NOT -- THIS DOESN’T
FEEL GOOD SO I WENT HOME AND
WENT TO BED, AND THE NEXT DAY I
WENT TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD AND
THAT WAS WHERE I FOUND OUT THAT
I HAD HIV.
AND I JUST REMEMBER THIS -- IT
WAS THE MOMENT THAT YOU LIKE
DREAD HEARING.
DREAD HEARING. IT’S THE THING THAT I HAD LIKE
FEARED, YOU KNOW, WHICH I ALSO
TALK ABOUT IN THE BOOK.
IT WAS SOMETHING I HAD BEEN VERY
FEARFUL OF, AS A SMALL CHILD, I
WAS BORN IN 1987 SO GROWING UP
IN THE MIDST OF THE HIV, AIDS
CRISIS, AND HAVING TWO PARENTS
WHO WERE, YOU KNOW, THE AGE OF
SENG PEOPLE JUST, WE LOST AN
ENTIRE GENERATION OF PEOPLE.
>> SURE.
>> SURE. DID YOU TALK TO YOUR MOM ABOUT
THAT AFTER EVERYTHING HAPPENED?
AND HOW WAS SHE, TELL ME HOW
YOUR MOM WAS?
>> MY MOM HAD AN INTENSE GO.
SHE HAD JUST LOST HER HUSBAND,
AND SHE IS THE STRONGEST PERSON
I KNOW.
I KNOW. THAT PICTURE IS LUKE RIGHT WHEN
SHE HAD FINISHED TREATMENT FOR
OVARIAN CANCER, AND SHE WAS
LIKE, I’M SICK OF HAVING SILVER
HAIR, HONEY, I’M PARAPHRASING
THERE, OKAY, YES, WE’RE DONE
WITH CHEMO, AND WE DID
MAINTENANCE THAT WAS MORE THAN
WE CAN CHEW.
>> YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR MOM SO
LOVINGLY, OBVIOUSLY, AND I THINK
NOT EVERYBODY HAS A FAMILY
THAT’S AS SUPPORTIVE AS YOURS
WAS.
WAS. YOU DESCRIBE YOUR MOM, YOU SAY
SHE ACCEPTED YOU COMPLETELY WHEN
SO MANY OTHERS COULDN’T.
WHERE WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT HER?
.
. >> WELL, I THINK IT’S IMPORTANT
TO NOTE THAT WHILE MY MOM DID
ACCEPT ME COMPLETELY, I THINK
THAT LIKE STEPACCEPTANCE, IT CAN
A LITTLE BIT OF A MUSCLE.
IT WASN’T LIKE SHE -- WE DIDN’T
START THERE.
START THERE. AND I THINK ALSO RELATIONSHIPS,
MY THERAPIST ALWAYS TELLS ME
THIS, RELATIONSHIPS GROW THROUGH
DISRUPTION.
DISRUPTION. A LOT OF TIMES MY MOM, THERE WAS
A LOT OF PAINFUL STUFF THAT
HAPPENED, AND US BEING ABLE TO
COME BACK TO EACH OTHER, IS
ALWAYS WHAT MADE OUR
RELATIONSHIP STRONGER, SO I
FORGOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY
AFTER THAT, BUT MY MOM IS
INCREDIBLE.
INCREDIBLE. WHERE WOULD I BE WITHOUT MY MOM.
PHYSICALLY NOT MEREHERE AND ASID
FROM THAT, MY MOM HAS GIVEN ME
THE SPACE AND LOVE THAT I DON’T
KNOW IF ANYONE ELSE COULD HAVE
GIVEN ME.
GIVEN ME. I PUT MY MOM THROUGH AN
EMOTIONAL INDIVIDUAL GYMNASTICS
CHAMPIONSHIP, LIKE 17,000 TIMES
AND SHE HAS JUST LIKE STUCK IT
EVERY TIME.
EVERY TIME. I LOVE HER SO MUCH.
>> THE LOA LOT OF PEOPLE THINK,
HIV, IS HE OKAY, IS HE SICK, HOW
IS HE FEELING, THERE’S SOMETHING
YOU WANT TO DISPEL OUT THERE.
YOU TAKE THE MEDICINE AND IT’S
NOT DETECTABLE IN YOUR BODY.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> SO THAT’S CLEAR.
>> SO THE TERM UNDETECTABLE
MEANS THAT YOU, THERE’S THIS
THING CALLED A VIRAL LOAD AND
THAT’S HOW MUCH COPIES OF THE
VIRUS IS IN YOU, AND YOU TAKE A
PILL EVERY DAY, AND IT BASICALLY
KILLS ALL THE COPIES OF THE
VIRUS IN YOUR BLOOD, AND THAT
MEANS YOU CAN ACHIEVE AND
MAINTAIN AN UNDETECTABLE VIRAL
LOAD AND THERE’S BEEN A LOT OF
STUDIES IN THE NATIONAL
INSTITUTE OF HEALTH AND THE UK,
AND HERE, AND THE CDC THAT
BASICALLY IT’S UNDETECTABLE,
UNTRANSMITTABLE, AS LONG AS
YOU’RE ADHERING TO YOUR
MEDICATION, AND SEEING YOUR
DOCTOR EVERY THREE MONTHS.
I HAVE PICKED UP FIGURE SKATING,
I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT GET
CUTER AND BE ABLE TO WORK HARDER
AND LONGER HOURS.
I FEEL LIKE I’M THRIVING.
>> AND CAN I TALK ABOUT YOUR
FIGURE SKATING FOR A SECOND.
YOU ARE A FIGURE SKATING
ENTHUSIAST, YOU AND MICHELLE
KWAN ARE TIGHT.
I WENT ON YOUR INSTAGRAM PAGE X
YOU KNOW WHO LIKES EVERY ONE OF
YOUR PICTURES, ALY RAISMAN, SHE
DOES.
DOES. THIS IS MORE THAN JUST A HOBBY.
YOU ARE WILD ABOUT.
>> I REALLY GOT TO GET MY
STANDING BACK HAND SPRING, FULL
TWISTING LAYOUT.
TWISTING LAYOUT. THAT’S WHAT I’M WORKING TOWARDS.
THAT’S MY GOAL RIGHT NOW.
>> YOU DO A COMEDY SHOW AND THIS
IS PART OF IT.
>> AND IT OCCURRED TO ME HALFWAY
THROUGH MY COMEDY TOUR, I HAVE A
WHOLE AUDIENCE, AND IF I DID A
TUMBLING ROUTINE IN THE MIDDLE
OF IT, THEY CAN’T JUST LEAVE IN
THE MIDDLE SO I THREW IN A
TUMBLING ROUTINE, I’M OBSESSED.
>> THERE’S A GOOD FLIP.
>> THAT WAS A CLEAN LAYOUT.
I HAVE TO SAY.
>> STOP IT.
NOW, THE BOOK IS FULL OF GREAT
ANECDOTES, IT SHOWS HOW YOU KIND
OF SURVIVED HIGH SCHOOL, IT
SHOWS EVERYTHING.
SHOWS EVERYTHING. YOU SHOW YOUR JOY.
I KNOW YOU DREAM OF GOING TO THE
OLYMPICS, I DON’T KNOW IF WE CAN
DO THAT, BUT JERRY, I THINK WE
HAVE THE NEXT BEST THING, IT’S
NOT GREAT BUT IT’S SOMETHING.
HERE, IT’S A LITTLE PRESENT FOR
YOU.
YOU. WOULD YOU LIKE TO OPEN IT?
>> SURE.
>> SURE. >> OH, MY GOSH, WHAT IS THIS.
>> IT’S OFFICIAL.
>> OH, MY GOSH, THE OUTFIT.
THIS IS THE ONE THAT GUS IS
ALWAYS WEARING, HONEY!
AND LOOK AT THE BACK.
THIS IS LIKE WHEN YOU MAKE THE
CHEER SQUAD WITH YOUR HIGH
SCHOOL, AND GET THE LITTLE THING
WITH YOUR NAME ON IT BUT BETTER
BECAUSE IT’S AMERICA.
>> I’M BIASSED ABOUT YOU, I LOVE
YOU.
YOU. I HAVE LOVED YOU FROM THE FIRST
TIME I MET YOU.
>> LIKE WISE SO MUCH.