you talk about stepping back or detaching to better assess
situations can you expand on how you detach
okay so this is again this is one i've been asked i probably even
if i answered this before yes should we just skip it
uh no i think it's worth it you know okay i'll i'll go over it i'll go over
it quickly since people ask me all the time
okay first of all you want to detach step back
literally step back if you're online with a bunch of people in a combat
situation literally step back if you're if you're
in a combat situation high port your weapon point your weapon
at the seat at the roof at the sky whatever
you're not going to engage in your target you're going to step back if
you're in a if you're in a business environment step
away from the computer step away from the terminal put down
your pen back away there's a you're in a meeting
heated meeting you need to detach stand up back away from the table but
literally stand back and step away once you do that you you relax now
that physical part that i just talked about of literally stepping back
that's something that it's a it's a physical reminder of what to do
you can get to a point in your life where you don't need to do
that yeah or where you usually don't have to do
that but things can still escalate quickly to where even the most
highly trained detached person still has to step back
and take up take a wrap off and take a look around so
in most these situations especially when you're first starting to try and do it
physically step back physically do something that indicates
to you as a person and it actually indicates to everyone around you that
you're doing this like when somebody stands up from the
table and steps back it's an indicator okay he's
taking a wrap off so dramatic we get it yeah actually we're trying not to be
dramatic but it's going to be dramatic anyway
yes it is now take a breath take a breath look around and make a
call that's that's it that's how easy it is to detach
now the heart the actual hard part of detachment
is being self-aware enough that you know when to detach that's the
that's the challenging part because they end up in the situation by
the time by the time they go man i should have detached yeah that's right
you should have detached you lost your temper you got involved you couldn't
make a decision you got dragged into the weeds like everybody else did
it's if if somebody if i would have and i've done this plenty of times when i
was training in ceo platoons i would just go up to the leader who was
getting dragged in a situation i'd be like hey step back with me
i'd take them two steps off the line if they look around and then they'd be
easily be able to make a decision yeah that's the that's the easy part the
easy part is step stepping back the hard part is
knowing that you need to do it because it's like
i guess it's to use the stupid analogy of the boiling frog right where you put
a bo you put a frog in water you slowly start
to boil it next thing you know it's next thing it knows it's dead it didn't
realize it though but if you threw it into hot water it would try and jump out
immediately yeah yeah it's the same thing here you don't you
don't get walk into a room and the chaos is going on no you walk into the room
and everything seems okay and then it starts to escalate escalate escalating
next thing you know you're in it and next thing you know something bad
has happened and you didn't detach in time so
you lost the bubble and you lost control and everything went sideways
so you got to know you got to understand when it is you need to detach you gotta
have your own personal red flags to tell you
that it's time to relax when you feel yourself getting frustrated you start
getting like that you need to detach when you feel you if you're getting
flustered you go back cut okay detach if you start feeling angry
or you start feeling the white knuckles or you start pecking hard at the
keyboard right right when you type an email out and
you're hitting the keyboard hard yeah it's an indeed indicator you better
not hit send because whatever you wrote isn't good
it's not going to solve any problems your raised voice right you start
raising the voice you start getting angry and aggro with people
those are the little things those are the little indicators
that tell you you need to detach step back take a breath look around walk
out of the room put your weapon at high port
just relax
look around make a call one more thing sometimes sometimes
what what the reason you need to detach is just so you can see something from a
different angle and you can ask a question i personally
love doing this i'm in a in a meeting right and i work
with a bunch of businesses and it actually gets pretty you know i'm
getting involved in what they're doing and they'll be all basically staring at
a problem right staring at a problem and they
can't figure out what the solution whether it's a leadership problem
or a process problem and they're all staring at this problem
and they can't come to a solution well i come in first of all i'm totally
detached right it's one of the benefits of my job is
i'm totally detached so when i come in a lot of times
my what i bring to the situation or what i can see is i can just ask a question
that none of them could think to ask
because they're all looking in the same direction as soon as you flank that idea
you see it from a different angle you come up with a solution so
so what i'm my point in this is don't only use detachment to prevent your
emotions from driving your decisions also
use detachment as part of your creative process to detach
from your current thought pattern and move
to a new thought pattern where you can create
new ideas and different plans from different angles that were not seen
from your previous vantage point
it's good so i guess we did get a little bit out of that detachment there
yeah revisit revisitation