I CAN RECALL ANOTHER ONE, LIKE, IN, YOU KNOW
I THINK IT WAS IN '85, LIKE,
WHEN ALL THAT ANDROGYNOUS S**T WAS GOING ON,
AND WHAT WAS WILD WAS THAT
THE GUY WHO LOOKED THE MOST LIKE A BITCH
WAS GETTING ALL THE WOMEN.
EVEN I HAD IT-- THE JERRY CURL WAS COMING OUT,
AND I HAD MY S**T SLICKED TO THE SIDE AND ALL THAT.
IF YOU WEARING BAGGY S**T NOW AND YOU ACTING HARD,
IF YOU FROM L.A.,
YOU MOTHERF**KERS WAS WEARING SOME STRANGE S**T.
WE IN THE CLUB.
WE GETTING OUR GROOVE ON, SHAKING IT UP,
AND PRINCE CAME IN THERE.
THAT'S WHEN PURPLE RAIN CAME OUT,
AND PRINCE WAS THE S**T, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
PRINCE HAD ON, LIKE, A--
IT WAS LIKE A ZORRO-TYPE OUTFIT.
IT HAD THE RUFFLES THAT COME DOWN THE FRONT.
HE HAD THE BIG PERM FLUFFED OUT AND ALL THAT.
AND THE MUSTACHE, YOU KNOW, JUST DRAWN ON HIS FACE.
AND IT LOOKED LIKE SOMETHING THAT A FIGURE SKATER WOULD WEAR,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
AND HE WAS WITH HIS WHOLE CREW,
AND HE HAD THIS OTHER CAT NAMED MICKI FREE,
AND MICKEY FREE WAS, LIKE, THE NEW CAT IN SHALAMAR
THAT, WHEN HE JOINED THE GROUP,
I HEARD MAD CATS, LIKE,
"YO, SHALAMAR GOT THIS NEW GIRL IN THERE.
MAN, THAT BITCH FINE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER."
THEY WAS TALKING ABOUT MICKEY FREE, OKAY?
MICKEY FREE IS NOT A GIRL, ALL RIGHT?
THEY CAME OVER WHERE WE WAS AT.
PRINCE STARTED TALKING TO MY BROTHER.
HELLO, EDDIE MURPHY.
PRINCE, WHAT'S UP?
I'M A BIG FAN OF YOUR COMEDIES.
OOH, THAT'S HOT, PRINCE.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO MY HOUSE
AND LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC?
OOH, THAT'S COOL.
FRUITY, GET THE CAR.
ASSEMBLE YOUR CREW.
I'LL BE OUTSIDE.
WE WENT UP THERE.
WE GET THERE. HE PUTS THE TRACKS ON.
THE TRACKS ARE SLAMMING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
AND WE'RE LISTENING TO THE MUSIC AND EVERYTHING.
GROOVING AT THE CRIB.
HE HAD GIRLS OVER THERE.
HE HAD A NICE ENVIRONMENT. IT WAS TIGHT.
THIS BORES ME.
IS ANYONE UP FOR A GAME OF BASKETBALL?
[laughs]
HOW ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS
VERSUS ME AND THE REVOLUTION?
[laughs]
SO I WAS LIKE, "THIS NIGGA MUST BE JOKING, MAN."
I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE'S GOING WITH THIS AND S**T.
BUT HE WAS DEAD SERIOUS.
HE HAD HIS, UH, HELPER OR WHATEVER
GO AND GET SOME, LIKE, SHORTS AND SNEAKERS
AND GAVE THEM TO US.
AND LAUGHING, I'M LIKE,
"THIS IS GONNA BE SOME FUNNY-ASS S**T."
SO THEY COME OUT, RIGHT?
AND I LOOK AT THEM, AND, UM,
THEY STILL GOT ON THE SAME S**T THEY WAS WEARING AT THE CLUB.
IT WAS WILD, AND I WAS LIKE,
"I KNOW THEY AIN'T THINKING ABOUT PLAYING BALL IN THAT,"
BUT THEY WERE.
I SAID, "HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?"
YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA CALL THIS?
THE SHIRTS AGAINST THE BLOUSES.
[laughter]
AND WHEN I SAID THAT, THIS LOOK CAME ON HIS FACE.
HE ICE GRILLED ME.
AND I'M LOOKING BACK AT HIM, THINKING TO MYSELF,
YOU KNOW, "WHAT ARE YOU ANGRY ABOUT?
"I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THAT SHIRT FROM,
AND IT DAMN SURE WASN'T THE MEN'S DEPARTMENT."
I MEAN, I KIND OF LEARNED SOMETHING THAT DAY:
DON'T NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.
THIS CAT COULD BALL, MAN.
PLAY BALL.
HE WAS CROSSING CATS LIKE ICE.
CROSSED ME UP.
MADE MY KNEES SLAM TOGETHER.
HE WAS GETTING REBOUNDS LIKE CHARLES BARKLEY.
SNATCHING IT DOWN!
SHOOT THE "J."
SHOOT IT!
LET'S RUN A PLAY. COMPUTER BLUE.
DARLING PICKY.
OWW!
THEY WAS KIND OF SETTING THESE FRUITY PICKS, MAN,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
LIKE, YOU'D BE TRYING TO CHECK PRINCE,
AND THEN YOU GO THIS CAT STANDING BEHIND YOU,
AND HE'S GETTING CLOSE TO YOU,
AND HIS HANDS IS OUT LIKE THIS.
YOU DON'T REALLY WANT TO BE BENT OVER
IN FRONT OF A CAT LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
PRINCE WAS INCREDIBLE!
PRINCE, YOU GOT A TOWEL, MAN?
IT'S KIND OF HOT OUT HERE, MAN.
WHY DON'T YOU PURIFY YOURSELF IN THE WATERS
OF LAKE MINNETONKA.
GOOD.
IN YOUR FACE, CHARLIE MURPHY.
GOOD.
GOOD HUSTLE. [slap]
YO, MAN, I'M NOT ON YOUR TEAM.
I MEAN, IT WASN'T EVEN LIKE IT WAS CLOSE.
IT WAS A LANDSLIDE VICTORY.
GAME.
BLOUSES.
I WAS THERE. I SEEN IT.
YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?
YOU THINK I'M MAKING IT UP?
YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO, UH, YOU KNOW,
ENHANCE THE STORY BECAUSE I'M INVOLVED?
OR TRYING TO GIVE MYSELF AN EXCUSE FOR LOSING
BECAUSE I'M TELLING YOU A STORY ABOUT PRINCE?
I DARE YOU TO CHALLENGE PRINCE TO A GAME OF BALL ONE-ON-ONE.
CHALLENGE HIM!
A'IGHT?
AND MAKE SURE YOUR PEOPLE IS THERE TO SEE THE GAME.
'CAUSE YOU MIGHT GET EMBARRASSED.
TRUST ME.
ALL RIGHT, HE BEAT YOU IN BASKETBALL,
AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
AFTER IT WAS ALL OVER,
HE TOOK US IN THE HOUSE AND SERVED US PANCAKES.
PANCAKES.
WELL, I GOT TO ADMIT, UM,
IT WAS A GOOD GAME.
I WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME FOR YOU
AND YOUR CREW OF FLUNKIES.
DO YOU GUYS WANT SOME GRAPES?
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
THERE'S SOME GREAT STORYTELLERS
IN THE WORLD THAT WE LIVE IN TODAY, MAN.
BITCHES.
WHO THE FUCK CAN MAKE UP THAT SHIT?
[cheers and applause]