Right, okay, let's have a little look
let's see who we've got there now
Ah hello there lovely what's your name pet?
Sarah
Sarah is it?
Alright jump up for us there Sarah
till we have a little look at you, don't mind me at all
Be nice and quick there Sarah
So here we go
Oh, well you can't move now
it defeats the purpose
here we go, thank you very much sarah
I think I have something for you,
you can sit down there now, you've been wonderful
Now then
anybody else comes into the shop
feel free to have a look around if you see
anything you like, anything at all,
there's a changing room back there okay?
SON: Mom, get out I'm changing
MOM: Don't be ridiculous Kevin, I'm your mother and I'm here to help you
SON: I don't need your help mom
MOM: Put your hands down, let me fix it for you
SON: It's embarrassing
MOM: That looks nice on you there now
MOM: Very smart, very smart
SON: Stop it, I can do it myself
MOM: It's nothing I haven't seen before
MOM: Don't forget, I changed your nappies
SON: Get out!
MOM: Alright, I'm gone, I'm gone!
Now, how's the young fella getting on in there?
Oh god don't start, Kevin are you nearly ready?
SON: I'm not coming out
Well does it fit you alright?
SON: I look stupid mom!
I'm sure you look nothing of the sort,
come out and show the man
SON: I'M NOT COMING OUT!
KEVIN YOU ARE TO COME OUT THIS INSTANT!
SON: Fine I'm coming out!
Oh god that's gorgeous on him
and there's a nice bit of room for him to grow into
on the top of that there
That's a beautiful material, what's that now?
That's merino wool
I don't want a balaclava mom,
all the other kids have hats.
Well all of the cool kids in the playground might have hats Kevin,
But come November, you'll be the one walking around
with the warmed up face.
I don't like it
Kevin don't stretch it!
It has to fit your brother.
Now get out and wait in the car
fine I will...
Off you go Kevin
KEVIN!
Yeah?
Take that look of your face
Now then Mary are you in the market for a balaclava yourself?
Oh God no, sure I haven't bought anything for myself
in a 140 years
Oh would you stop!
You're not a day over 25 are you?
Oh that's not true and well you know it
Oh well it could be true from what I'm looking at today
Oh you're an awful man
I'm a bit of a messer!
G'way!
Alright Mary I will
You're a divvel!
I'm a bit of a divvel indeed
You're an absolute divvel!
That's the one!
Come here to me...
G'WAAAAYYYYY
You big flirt
Now then Mary, will you have a look at a balaclava you will
Oh go on so!
I think this will suit you down to the ground
So, tell me now Mary in all honesty...
What do you think of that?
Ohhhh...
It's beautiful
It's absolutely gorgeous,
now that Mary
is a Stella McCartney
Only the finest, do you want to try that on there?
There's a mirror there for you now and everything
Jesus girls what am i at?
Come on now, lets have a look
Ohhhhhh
It's beautiful!
Oh Mary, I tell you know,
I would not recognise you
Are you serious?
That is absolutely stunning on you now
It really brings out my eyes!
They pop you know
They do!
It says "I'm here"
I've arrived!
You have!
Do exactly as I say.
And what's great about this Mary
is it's casual yet it's formal
So you could wear this on a night out with the girls
Or for popping down to the post office
God I tell you what,
I won't bother showing this one to my husband
Oh yeah?
Sure he wouldn't know a good balaclava
If it came running at him with a bat
I know what you mean
Maybe you'd like to have a look around the shop,
You might see something else that you like
Actually I will,
I'll have a look at the holy communion balaclavas
Oh very good yes,
and if you've any questions, you know where I am
Oh the costumer service here is top notch
Oh thank you very much Mary
We always put the costumer first,
and we're militant about that
we really are
you have a little look...
and I was in the middle of something here now,
Oh my goodness now!
Sarah!
I'm after forgetting all about you,
I am soooo sorry
come on up into the shop till we have a little look at you
Come on up there Sarah
Fair play to ye
Don't worry you don't have to do a thing,
you just stand right there, I will take care of
absolutely everything Sarah alright?
Yes, I know you're excited
I have something in mind,
it's come in from Italy,
and I absolutely adore this...
It's a little bit out there okay?
It's a little bit different so keep an open mind
on this one yeah?
But tell me now...
What do you think of that?
It's good isn't it?
Mary what do you think there?
Oh tell me now is that from the vintage range?
Oh it is indeed yes,
This one's seen action.
Well Sarah here you go,
do you want to try that on, we'll have a little look
just see how it sits on the head
Will I hold the glasses maybe?
I'll take very good care of them, don't you worry
You know, you have to see how they sit,
sit with it for a moment,
walk outside, around,
say "Hi "to some people you know?
I always say, get to know your balaclava
But sure pop it on, you can be the judge yourself
Let's have a look at you now.
Oh look at this, the pro, rolling it up
Oh well you've done that before Sarah haven't you?
This is not your first balaclava?
The training kicks in though doesnt it?
*crowd cheering
It's more difficult than it looks...
That's an interesting tactic yes
No, it's just for the eyes and the mouth
Oh wow!
Isn't she absolutely stunning!
Give us a twirl there Sarah
Do you think it would be possible...
to complete the outfit...
OHHHH wow
The height of sophistication!
You would stop traffic in that thing so you would girl!
I couldn't even charge you for that
It's yours and it's yours to keep
You've been absolutely marvelous
Very good Sarah
now you sit down
Well done
Excuse me Mary I'm so sorry
*Shop bell rings
Excuse me Kevin!
I thought I told you to wait outside in the car!
WHA?
Oh sorry I though you were someone else
Mary, will I box that balaclava up for you?
No, I love it so much, I'm going to keep it on me,
and surprise the girls at work!
Oh jesus yeah...
You're still down the bank?
I am yeah!
We're not in our office right now...
Well technically this is our office for the night
This is the Brighton dome
We had a great time here
We're going to Australia!
We're leaving!!
They're sending us to Australia
Come to our Melbourne and Sydney gigs please
EHHHHDOOOMMDAAHHHH