previously on just cast i'm having a little moment right now i got like some news this morning that i
just i don't know i just i try to be so positive all the time and i got some news this morning and
i guess i'm just feeling it right now and i know you guys don't know what the news
is so this is gonna make no sense in this vlog but um i was just sitting in there trying to get
ready for church and basically everything just kind of like you know when all the little things
just kind of build up and you finally show like or understand your emotions of why you're sad
anyways i'm just having like a hard day and it's hard because it's my birthday
and i should be happy today i filmed the hard news and i don't know if i'll post it or not
but i just wanted to show that like everyone's going through hard things don't normally show like
the sad parts or the hard parts of my days so i just wanted to record this so that i could
remind you guys that everyone's going through things and no one has like a perfect life if
i end up posting the video then you guys will understand why but or why i'm feeling sad but
good morning guys i have to figure out how to hide this from my family
josh is sleeping in there
paisley where's mom she's on a walk okay mission was accomplished with no one seeing it
okay so let me explain what's going on i kind of got to be quiet because
my mom's on a walk so if she hears me that wouldn't be good we're in hawaii right now
it's actually my birthday today which is actually funny they have like these single-use restrooms
and i have to go to that because i have a feeling that i'm pregnant i don't even know
if i am oh gosh i gotta go back grab the wrong sd card and it's full so i can't even record on this
this is like the last clip i can record i gotta hide this again oh my gosh
i don't know why what i was saying but it's my birthday today and i think i
don't know what else i was going to say i'm walking into the bathrooms right now and
they're like the bathroom so we can simply go in there because i can't use any
of the bathrooms in the place we're saying because you can hear right through them like they don't
really have doors you saw they have like little shut doors and they don't unlock and if i am
and like obviously i'm playing freak out i mean i don't really know my action because i've never
been but yeah i don't know what's gonna happen but i'm just gonna go to that to play it safe and
i don't know how i'm gonna keep it for my family and josh until we get home from hawaii if i am
i don't know why i think i am so much but it would be cool to find out on my birthday
think i could lock it i can't lock it oh my gosh i don't know what to do what should i do big gas
i have an idea i think i'm going to take it in here not look at
it because you have to wait like a couple minutes
and then i'm going to go out to like the ocean and then look at it there i think that would be
i don't know maybe i'll be better just because i don't want anybody walking in
you know because i'd be like okay i'm gonna take it right now that annoying beeping sound
this is exactly what i mean someone's coming okay
i have to look up the instructions because i don't have the box
okay they weren't coming to the bathroom i really feel like it's gonna be positive this
time i don't know something in me well i kind of know but i'll tell you guys after i take it okay
point the absorbent tip with five small openings directly to the urine stream
take a sample for at least seven to ten seconds okay there we go
okay i accidentally just saw it
i didn't mean to look but i guess not yet yes i'm just late in my period i'm sad
this is hard
i thought it was going to be positive because first of all i'm late on my period
second of all i don't know like the timing kind of just felt right maybe
i took the test too early i don't i don't know i probably probably not but
yeah it's my birthday i thought maybe like that'd be like the coolest birthday like
present surprise and i really thought i was but it's okay after just trusting god's plan
and his timing and everything and that's how i'm trying to go throughout all of my life josh is
going to be really sad i've like recorded a couple times and the first time i thought i was pregnant
i gotta trust him god i was gonna say like the last time i was here me and josh were walking on
the beach that's when we started talking about when we were gonna try our family and um
we're here again and i was like oh my gosh wouldn't it be crazy if i was just like like
pregnant and like i was having so many signs and everything of being pregnant so i really thought i
was like that's just crazy like if i am then like it'll be again a lot like the next time i went to
maui and we were pregnant like that just be cool because that's like the last time we started
talking about having a family and planning when we wanted to you know start trying and stuff so
it is what it is i'm really just trusting it to god i've been praying a lot i'm so excited to meet
my little future kids i've always felt such like a special connection with my kids that i've never
even met i can't really explain it but i've always just felt this like closeness and it's like pretty
sacred to me and not like gonna share a lot but i just i already feel like this closeness and
bond to my little future babies up in heaven um and so i'm just so excited to meet them one day
and that day is just not quite yet and that's okay so i'm grateful for god and his plan and
i'm grateful for all of you guys watching and going on this journey with me whatever journey
you're on don't lose faith don't lose hope just pray trust in god's timing trust in his plan
and i'll work out i'll be okay so maybe they're not ready to leave their heavenly father or god
yet maybe they've got to stay in heaven with him for a little bit longer and i'm okay with that
so yeah that's just kind of my little thoughts so grateful to be here and to feel like so much
peace and comfort here in hawaii it's like has such a special feeling and i'm really grateful
to be able to like record and my thoughts like record them and remember these thoughts and
everything it's so cool to have a youtube channel so i'm so grateful you guys watching because i
get to look back on this and it's just it's so awesome so yeah that's kind of where i'm just
gonna leave this i'm sad but i'm okay so love you guys i'll see you guys in the next video bye guys
you