(intense suspenseful music)
- Oh no, this isn't gonna end well!
(chopping noise)
(bells ding)
♪ I want to be the very best ♪
♪ Like no fruit ever was ♪
♪ My skin makes for delicious zest ♪
♪ And I'll annoy you just because ♪
♪ Kitchénmon ♪
♪ Gotta catch em all ♪
♪ It's you and me ♪
♪ Together we're spitting seeds ♪
♪ Kitchénmon ♪
♪ Ooh, you're my best friend ♪
♪ In a world we must defend ♪
♪ Kitchénmon ♪
♪ Gotta catch em all ♪
♪ A fruit so true ♪
♪ My teeth are a yellow hue ♪
♪ You fart on me ♪
♪ And I'll fart on you ♪
♪ Kitchénmon ♪
♪ Gotta catch em all ♪
(Orange laughing)
(laser shoots)
(bell dings)
(ringing)
(80 video game music)
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
(video game music)
(marching music)
- Oh man, an item!
Please be a potion.
Please be a potion!
- I'm not a potion!
I'm an orange. (laughs) (record scratches)
Oh, you must be one of those Pokey Man trainers.
- I'm a Pokémon trainer from Pallet Town,
and I wanna be the very best!
Like no one ever was.
Name's Red.
- Your name's Red?
Mine's Orange!
What's your mom's name?
Chartreuse? (laughs)
(Red groans)
- Wait, where are you goin?
- To catch em all!
- Well can you catch this? (grunts)
(stump thwacks) (Orange laughing)
Hey, what's this thingy here?
It looks just like me.
- No, don't touch that! (ball dings)
No, Charmander, come back!
You jerk!
That was my only Pokémon! (sad trumpet music)
- Ah, don't be so gloomy.
You'll find another one.
(video game music)
Hey, what's goin on?
Where'd the forest go?
I am not all white with this! (laughs)
- [Red] I'm catching you to be my next Pokémon!
(Orange bounces)
- You can't catch me!
I'm the Gingerbread Orange! (laughs)
- [Red] We'll see about that.
Pokéball, go!
(pinging)
(Orange screams)
- Looks like I Squirtle-d my way outta that one. (laughs)
Now it's my turn.
(Orange spitting)
- [Red] Ow! Hey! (spit wad smacks)
Pokémon aren't supposed to attack trainers!
- (laughing) I'm not a Pokémon.
I'm an orange! Whee. (bell chiming)
All right, splash!
That sounds pretty awesome.
(banging)
- [Red] That literally doesn't do anything.
- [Orange] What are you talkin about?
This is way cool! (bell dinging)
Let's do it again.
♪ Splish splash ♪ (banging)
♪ I was taking a bath ♪ (banging)
♪ And it was super effective ♪ (banging)
Yeah-ya! (laughs)
- [Red] You know what?
I'm leaving. I can probably get another Pokémon
from Professor Oak if I hurry.
- [Orange] Don't be such a Bulbasaur loser, Red.
You're not Weedle-ing away yet.
Not until I try my smog attack! (farts)
(fart splats) (Red coughs)
Hey, quit coughing so loud. (Red coughing)
I can't hear myself think. (laughs)
- Dude, that reeks!
- [Orange] Now's my chance! Poké Ball, go!
(pings)
All right! (video game music)
I caught a human! (bell pinging)
Now, what to name him?
Hmmm.
(typing)
Buttface, you and I are goin places. (laughs)
Oh cool, a hat! (laughs)
(video game music)
- My name is Brock.
I believe in rock hard defense and,
wait, you're not a trainer.
- [Orange] He's confused, Poké Ball, go!
(pinging)
Now to come up with (video game music)
a nickname for you.
(laughs) I know, Buttface.
(typing)
Oh no! I'm all out of room.
Well, I guess I'll just have to toss this one too.
Gotta catch em all!
(video game music)
- [Red] Help, can anybody (Orange humming)
- hear me? Let me out of here!
Let me out of here!
Can anybody hear me? Help!
(Orange humming)
- [Brock] I'm still alive. I'm only very badly burned.
(laser shoots)
- Hey, over here!
I found a wild Chard-mander
- Catch em, Orange!
- Yeah! Gotta catch em all!
(Poké Balls shooting)
Yeah!
- [All] Yeah!
- Hey! What's goin on?
- We're playing Kitchénmon Go.
- Kitchénmon Go?
What's that?
- Whoa! I just found a wild Snorlax!
- Holy Toledo! Gotta go!
- I almost got him! (screams)
(apple thuds)
- Almost got him. (balls thudding)
Almost got him! (screams)
(apple thuds) (video game music)
- What the, dude, two apples just fell off the counter.
- No time to talk, Pear. Gotta focus.
- Has the whole kitchen gone crazy?
Foods are falling off the counter left and right, you guys.
And for what?
A game about little digital food monsters?
- You think this is a game, Pear?
(record scratches)
- As a matter of fact, yes, I do!
- You know, we were gonna ask you to join team Orange,
but maybe now we'll just pass.
(cars crashing)
- [Zucchini] So sorry about that.
I was trying to catch a Kitchénmon.
- [Squash] That's totally understandable.
Did you catch it though?
- Yeah, I did!
- Alright, you've all lost your minds.
I'm outta here!
- Hmmm, what do you guys think?
Is Pear right?
Have we gone too far with this Kitchénmon Go stuff?
- Uh, I'd like to propose just the opposite.
Pear is wrong, and as far as I'm concerned,
we haven't gone far enough!
- I like how this guy thinks. (laughs)
- It's just so sad to think that Pear will never
appreciate Kitchénmon Go the way we do.
He'll never get the chance to experience
Kitchénmon Go like we have.
- Well there is one way.
- Dr. Bananas?
- It's untested, but my latest invention,
the monofier, is capable of turning real fruits
into real Kitchénmon.
(Apple soars)
- Oh man, oh man, oh man, test it on me!
I wanna live as a Kitchénmon!
Oh, this is a dream I never even knew
I had until this very moment!
Peace out suckers!
I'm gonna be a Kitchénmon with an awesome
Kitchénmon wife and never look back!
- I was going to suggest we test it on Pear.
That way, he could be a real part
of the phenomenon that is Kitchénmon Go!
- Yeah that makes sense.
- Alright, what to read tonight,
the thesaurus, or the dictionary.
Well, considering I've already read the dictionary-
(lazer blast) (Pear screams)
- Did it work?
- Did what work?
Why did you just zap me?
- No reason.
- Is this part of your weird little cell phone game?
Just leave me alone!
- Guys, Pear's right, we should leaf him alone. (laughs)
- Ah what's, what's happening to me!
- [Marshmallow and Apple] Wow!
- Whoa
- Oh, this is so weird, I mean pretty cool too,
but also, really weird!
- That's a really cool power!
I bet with those vines he could even take on Kincastwo!
- [Marshmallow and Apple] Ooh!
- All right well wait, wait, wait.
Why you all lookin at me like that?
What's goin on here?
Stay away. Stay away from me!
- Pear we're really sorry to do this to ya,
but we gotta catch you.
- What? No!
- With some training, just imagine what you could become!
(laughing) Yay!
- Gotta catch him!
(Poké Balls shooting)
- Ah! Wha!
(Poké Balls shooting)
Hey! Would you stop throwin weird digital balls at my face!
- Uh oh I think I might get,
I'm almost out of balls
but I think I might have him. Gah!
(Squash splats)
- Would you guys look up from your phone for two seconds?
Your friends are falling to their deaths!
- Worth it!
(Zucchini splats) (record scratches)
(intense music)
- Hey, I've got you now!
(Poké Ball spins)
- Oh, Orange, stop!
- I can't stop, I'm addicted!
Kitchénmon Go is more important than friendship.
I'm sorry , but it is.
- Nooo!
- Yeah, caught him, yeah! (video game music)
- [All] Yeah!
- Well, that's probably enough Kitchénmon Go
for one day, don't ya think?
- [Pear] Maybe you should get back to the counter?
- Huh? What's he talkin about? Oh.
(all screaming)
- For the last time, I am not a grape.
- But your name is grape.
- My name is Grapefruit.
- Grapes are fruit though,
so you're a grape. (laughs)
- Am not!
- Am too.
- Am not!
- Am too, whoa!
What are you?
- I'm a Pokémon ball.
- Whoa, is that a type of grape?
- Not even close.
- You poke grapes?
Is that why they call you poke-a-mon? (laughs)
- I don't even have a finger to poke with.
And my interaction with grapes is basically nil.
- Hey, I like that word, nil nil nil nil nil nil.
- Is he always this annoying?
- Nil nil nil nil nil nil nil nil nil nil nil nil!
- Pal, you don't know the half of it.
- Hey, hey Mon!
- It's Pokémon, not Mon. Pokémon,
- Mon! Hey, hey Mon, hey!
- What!
- Knife.
- Huh? Whoa no, this isn't gonna end well.
(knife swishes) (video game music)
- [Grapefruit and Orange] Whoa!
- Well lookie what we have hair. (laughs)
- Whoa, check it out, I ab-solutely
could get used to this! (laughs)
- You look more like a grape than ever.
You have six of em on your stomach. (laughs)
- You know what, if you're not gonna stop calling
me a grape, I'll make you stop calling me a grape!
Midget Apple, I choose you!
- Yeah, little apple!
- (gasps) A full on Kitchénmon battle!
Don't you think that's a tiny overreaction, grape? (laughs)
(Grapefruit and Midget Apple growling)
- Pear, I choose you!
- Come on! I was in the middle of reading!
- Midget Apple, use your mini boom!
- Mini boom!
(lasers shooting)
- Ah! Cool, can I get back to my book now?
- Pear, stop being such a bookworm
and you use your bookworm! (laughs)
- Ugh, fine, Bookworm!
(laser shoots)
- What, ah!
(Bookworm munching)
- Hey, I wanted a meal, not a snack! (laughs)
(Bookworm munching)
- Okay, that's just rude!
- So it's gonna be like this is it?
- Grandpa Lemon, I choose you!
- Oh where, where am I?
- Use your sleep leaf!
- That's what I do best. Sleepwalk! (snoring)
(sleep radiating)
- Oh! Oh boy am I tuckered out. (snores)
- Looks like I only have one option left.
Marshmallow, I choose you!
- Yay, yippee!
- Marshamallow, use your rainbow ray!
- That's my favorite thing! Yay!
(rainbow ray sparkles)
- Oh it's another flying dream. (snores)
- Well Orange, looks like you won this round.
- Yeah, you know what else is round?
A grape! (laughs)
(Grapefruit growls)
- Come on Marshamllow,
let's catch some more Kitchénmon, yeah!
♪ Kitchénmon gotta catch em all ♪
- I'm not gonna say it again.
My skin is a shade of pale yellow,
not baby yellow.
- Pale yellow and baby yellow
are the same color, baby! (laughs)
- Stop calling me baby, Orange!
Maybe you're the baby!
Ever think about that?
- If I'm a baby, then you're just my color. (laughs)
- (growls) Tell me orange, could a baby
throw a barbell this heavy at you?
- Baby not, but baby so.
Guess we'll find out. (laughs)
(Grapefruit grunts)
(barbell thuds) (Orange laughing)
- Too strong, baby!
(record scratches)
- Ow! Your barbell hit me in the head, dude!
- Wow, looks like you have
a splitting headache Pokémon Ball!
- I feel like, oh, (light sparkling)
I'm oh no, not again!
(Pokémon Ball screaming) (light beam shooting)
- Nice! Got my abs back!
I missed you little buddies.
- Aw, look at em,
they're like little baby grapefruits.
Baby babies! (laughs)
- (grunts) For the last time,
I am not a baby, and neither are my abs!
I'll show you.
I have new, more powerful Kitchénmon in my arsenal
since the last time we battled.
- Like whom?
- Like Zoom, I choose you!
- Let's drink!
- Zoom? What an extremely obvious choice! (laughs)
(Grapefruit and Zoom growl)
Well, one obvious choice deserves another.
I choose you, Captain Obvious!
- I look different than I normally do.
- Zoom has just realized that Zoom looks different as well.
This is extreme!
- Zoom, spray it, don't say it pal.
- Right away. Extreme!
- I'm leaving now!
- (laughs) You lose, Orange!
- Not so fast,
I can still give you the slip!
Dr. Bananas, I choose you!
- I don't particularly enjoy confrontation!
- (laughs) Dr. Bananas?
What's he gonna do, blast us with science?
(Grapefruit and Zoom laughing)
- As a matter of fact, yes!
Dr. Bananas, use your science blaster!
- Well, it's still in the development stage, but...
- This, this is so boring.
This science stuff is the opposite of extreme!
- You're finished, baby!
- Not so fast.
I have one more trick up my sleeve,
and it's sure to squash you.
I choose you, Squash!
- Squash! Oh no!
He's too powerful!
- We don't stand a chance,
he's far more evolved than I!
- (laughs) That's right, there's nowhere you can run,
nowhere you can hide, (Squash soaring)
Squash will find you wherever you, gah!
- (splats) Ew!
- We did it! Yeah, baby! (laughs)
(Grapefruit grunts)
Now let's go catch some more Kitchénmon.
- I do too have a butt.
- See I don't think you do.
I'm not sure any of us do, actually.
- Well I can only speak for myself.
But I definitely have a butt.
- Nuh-uh.
- Yeah-huh.
- Nuh-uh.
- Yeah-huh, don't make me prove it to you, Orange.
- Well I think that's what it's gonna take, Grapefruit.
No ifs ands or butts about it. (laughs)
- (grunts) Fine, just remember, you asked for this.
This was not my idea.
(record scratches)
- (shouts) Ah, my eyes!
(static electrifying)
- Poké Ball, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were...
- I'm blind, I can't see.
- Watch out now, you're about to fall off the...
- Oh!
- Counter.
(Poké Ball shouting)
(Poké Ball thudding)
(light beam shooting)
- [Grapefruit and Orange] Whoa!
- Suddenly I feel so much more animated. (laughs)
- Bummer about Poké Ball but honestly,
it's nice to have my abs back.
- At least ya have abs,
since ya never had a butt. (laughs)
- (grunts) That's it, we're settling this once and for all.
Kitchénmon style!
- I agree, we should put all this behind us. (laughs)
- (grunts) Orange, I do too have a butt!
- Or so you say, butt, now it's time for my two cents.
Copper Lincoln, I choose you!
- Let's do this y'all! Yee-haw!
- Ooh, smooth moves, but rude news for you two dudes.
I choose you, Nude Dude!
- I'm not wearing pants, and that's not accidental!
- Oh my eyes y'all! (laser beam shoots)
What I've seen cannot be unseen!
It's cause it's unclean! (cries)
- Hey, that's no fair using Nude Dude without a censor bar.
- I couldn't agree more.
Nude Dude, use your censor bar.
- This may not be suitable for children,
due to graphic violence.
(bar smacks)
- Later y'all.
- Yes! We're winning!
- Should we hug it out?
- No thank you.
Please stay over there.
- (laughs) This battle's gettin spicy.
How about we up the spice level a little bit more?
I choose you Wasabi!
- Wassup!
- (laughs) Wassup!
- Wassup!
(Wasabi and Orange shouting)
- Are we still fighting, or?
- Wassup!
- Wait, Nude Dude, you too?
- Sorry, it's just so fun! Wassup!
(Wasabi, Orange, and Nude Dude Shouting)
- And Nude Dude's done.
Probably not gonna battle with him anytime soon.
- Hey Grapefruit, wassup!
(flame shoots)
- Stop that right now!
You better cut that out or my next Kitchénmon
will cut it out for you.
Knife, I choose you!
- Knife to meet you. (laughs)
- Whoa, edgy pick, Grapefruit! (laughs)
- (grunts) Knife, I command you
to make quick work of those two. Chop chop.
- That's what I do best! (laughs)
- Real quick, before you get to you point,
we just have one question for ya.
- Yeah, and what's that?
- [Wasabi and Orange] Wassup!
- Please, that won't work on knife,
he's far too-
- Wassup!
- [Wasabi, Orange, and Knife] Wassup!
- Knife! Come on!
(Wasabi, Orange, and Knife shouting)
- Stop that right now, I command you!
(Wasabi, Orange, and Knife shouting)
- Stop it! (record scratching)
- Yeesh, what crawled up his butt?
- Couldn't tell ya, he doesn't have one. (laughs)
- Oh, laugh at me will you.
Well you'll regret that.
I have a whole slew of super powerful Kitchénmon
ready to release at a moment's no-
(Knife slashes) (Grapefruit screams)
- Whoa!
- Alright, where were we?
- [Orange] Hey, group members!
If you're anything like this orange,
you wanna be the very zest.
That's why today Pear and I are showing you
how to catch a Pokémon.
Ready Pear?
- [Pear] Ready!
- [Orange] Then let's do this Pokémon thing, mon. (laughs)
- [Pear] Alright, step one.
Find a Pokémon in the wild.
- [Orange] Oh! There's one!
- [Pear] That's a leaf.
- [Orange] There's another one!
- [Pear] That's me!
- [Orange] Okay, that's gotta be one.
- [Pear] That's you!
- [Orange] (grunts) Man, finding a Pokémon
is harder than this rock.
- [Pear] Uh, dude?
- [Orange] Here I am lookin high and low
and it turns out all my efforts are utterly useless.
- [Pear] Orange!
- [Orange] Seriously Pear, we're never gonna find one.
Let's just moo-ve on.
- [Pear] (grunts) Whatever ya say, dude.
Step two, throw your ball at it.
- [Orange] Way ahead of ya, Pear! (shouts)
(ball thuds)
- [Pear] Ow! Hey!
- [Orange] What? I couldn't find a Pokémon
so I choose you. (laughs)
- [Pear] (groans) That's not even
the right kinda ball, dude.
- [Orange] Oh don't worry about that,
I got all sorts of balls in here. Catch!
(balls thudding) (Pear shouting)
- [Pear] Stop that!
- [Orange] Gotta catch em all, Pear! (laughs)
- [Pear] Orange! You have to throw a Poké Ball.
- [Orange] Oh, so you're saying I shouldn't throw
this fourteen pound bowling ball?
- [Pear] Yes.
- [Orange] Yes I should throw it?
- [Pear] No!
- [Orange] No I should throw it?
- [Pear] No! Do not throw that bowling ball at me!
- [Orange] Okay, I'll throw this instead.
But just for the record,
you are kinda shaped like a bowling pin. (laughs)
- [Pear] (groaning) No!
(ball smacks)
What the, hey! Ah! (video game music)
- [Orange] Whoa, Pear?
- [Pear] Dude, get me outta here!
- [Orange] You want out?
I figured you'd be havin a ball in there. (laughs)
- [Pear] Hey, get me out of here now!
- [Orange] Hmm, well the only way I know how to get you out
also happens to be step three,
to catch even more Pokémon
and send your Pokémon into battle!
- [Pear] Battle? Dude, I didn't sign up for any battle!
- [Orange] Relax, it's just a little old Charmander,
he's definitely out-matched. (laughs)
Pear, I choose you!
(Pear shouts)
- [Orange] Go! Start battling!
- [Pear] With what? I'm not a Pokémon dude.
I have no powers, no weapons.
- [Orange] Huh, good point.
You better take this.
- [Pear] What the...
- [Orange] Wait, on second thought,
maybe that wasn't such a bright idea.
- [Pear] What? Ah! (orange laughing)
(fire beam shooting)
- [Pear] Pear and Orange here
with a very special episode of "How 2".
Huh, Orange? (Orange grunts)
Dude, would you put down your phone?
We're doin an episode here!
- [Orange] Hold on, I almost caught a Pikachu.
(game dinging) Woo! Alright! (laughs)
Okay, what's going on?
- [Pear] We're doing an epis-...
- [Orange] Ooh wait, I just found another one!
(smacks phone) (phone soars)
- [Pear] Dude, focus!
This week's prompt is how to reach level 25 in Pokémon Go.
- [Orange] (laughs) The answer is simple.
You wanna reach level 25,
don't have a life!
- [Pear] Orange, that's really mean.
- [Orange] But it's the cold hard truth
aspiring Pokémon players need to hear.
- [Pear] What?
- [Orange] Listen, if you're gonna catch more Pokémon
than your friends,
you have to have the app open at all times.
Any time you walk, drive fly, do the electric worm,
skateboard, or run anywhere,
that's an opportunity for Pokémon.
A Poké-tunity, if you will. (laughs)
- [Pear] Wait wait wait, did you just say that
people should be playing Pokémon Go
while they're driving?
- [Orange] No, no no no no, of course you shouldn't
play while you're driving,
so long as you're okay with being mediocre
and wallowing away at level eight. (laughs)
(Pear groans)
- [Orange] Level 25 is the big leagues Pear,
we're not catching Poké-boys here,
we're catching Pokémon!
- [Pear] Well this seems like absolutely terrible advice.
- [Orange] You wanna be great - Ah, help me!
at anything in this world it requires sacrifice.
Human sacrifice!
- [Pear] What! (record scratches)
Really?
- [Orange] Well no, but close!
- [Pear] Huh?
- [Orange] Listen up audience.
If you're watching this video, it's already too late.
You're missing Poké-opportunities with every passing second!
And other traitors are passing you by!
Have a girlfriend? A boyfriend?
Pets, family? Forget that noise.
Your life is Pokémon now. (man shouts)
- [Pear] Dude! (record scratches)
Think you're losing it.
People need to spend time with their families.
- [Orange] Sure! If they wanna wallow away
at level 15 like a total spaz!
Pear, ya just don't get it. (record scratches)
If you don't care about (balls thudding)
accumulating more digital (balls thudding)
images of Pokémon than your friends do,
then there's no helping you!
Unless the light in your eyes has gone out!
- [Pear] Dude, you are insane!
- [Orange] Also, to achieve level 25,
you're gonna need to manage your thoughts.
- [Pear] What?
- [Orange] What are you thinkin about right now?
Is it Pokémon?
If not, do you honest believe you have what it takes
to beat level 25?
- [Pear] What the?
- [Orange] Do you honestly believe
you deserve to beat level 25!
- [Pear] Now that's it. (record scratches)
I'm leaving! What, wait...
I just found one.
- (laughs) Catch it Pear, catch it Pear!
- [Pear] Okay! Whoa, hey that's kinda fun.
- [Orange] I know!
- [Pear] Kind of addicting.
- [Orange] I know right!
- [Pear] Okay, maybe just one more.
- [Orange] (laughing) Yay, Pear's hooked!
Which Pokémon did you catch?
- [Pear] It says TNT.
Wait, this isn't a real Pokémon game is it?
- [Orange] Nope!
(Pear screaming) (Orange laughing)
(rock music)
♪ I wanna be the very best ♪
♪ Like no fruit ever was ♪
♪ My skin makes for delicious zest ♪