- Hey, there's sectagoers.
What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?
Your early childhood experiences have an impact
on who you grow up to be.
How your parents treat you growing up
can stay with you for a long time
because it tells you a lot about how they see you
and in turn, how you should feel about yourself.
It's why having a toxic relationship with your parents
can have such a detriment long lasting impact on your life.
In this video, we'll be looking at
father daughter relationships in particular.
So without further ado, here are six signs
of an unhealthy father-daughter relationship.
Number one, he's an absentee father.
Has your father been there for you growing up?
Whether it's because of divorce,
having his own other family or a career abroad,
you may have had a father who was
never really present in your life.
He may have been absent for milestones, special occasions
and for the moments when you needed him the most.
As a result, it might have left a significant hole
in your heart.
Ultimately, a sign of
an unhealthy father-daughter relationship
is when your father was never there
when you really need hated him to be
or when he never made much of an effort to be there for you.
Number two, he's emotionally unavailable.
Similarly, even if your father was actually present
in your life, either living with you or co-parenting you,
it's still an unhealthy relationship
if he is emotionally closed off and distant all the time,
instead of offering you comfort when you're upset
or sharing in your joy whenever you accomplish something,
he may just show a disinterest.
Fathers like this may have no interest
in fostering a relationship with their children at all.
They may see their role as mainly to provide
for your family through other means such as financially.
Number three, he's overly controlling.
Does your father make every decision for you?
The opposite of the absentee and emotionally distant father
but whose every bit just as toxic
is the overly controlling father.
Fathers who are like this towards their daughters
tend to be strict, authoritative and demanding.
Although some of them might really have their child's
best interest at heart, they may have trouble
giving up control and allowing their daughters
the freedom they need to make their own mistakes,
explore the world and discover who they are
in their own terms.
All of which contribute greatly to a person's
sense of self-esteem, self-worth, mental health
and satisfaction with life.
Number four, there are unclear boundaries.
As with any other relationship,
clear personal boundaries need to be established
in order for both parties to feel safe,
valued and respected.
However, oftentimes when it comes to parents,
many of them unfortunately think that
because they're the ones who had raised you
and brought you into this world,
that it gives them the right to treat you however they want
and with toxic father-daughter relationships,
this might look like invading your privacy,
disregarding your feelings and making your decisions for you
without even a asking you or giving you a good reason why.
Number five, there's a lack of open communication.
Are you able to talk to each other honestly?
Despite what it seems, children arguing with their parents
can actually be a good thing sometimes
because it shows that they feel comfortable enough to share
and express their true feelings with each other.
A lack of open communication in your relationship
may be a cause for concern since it can lead to
a lot of deception, secrecy, resentment
and passive aggressiveness between father and daughter,
and number six, there are unrealistic expectations
and constant comparisons.
Last, but certainly not least,
if your father sets unrealistic expectations for you
or constantly compares you to other daughters,
then your relationship is most likely
not a very healthy one.
This demand for perfection from you at all times
may be because they see parenting
as some sort of competition where they can win.
Fathers like this often don't care much
about the amount of effort you put into something
or how it makes you feel,
what matters is how your achievements
and failures reflect on them.
As a result, they may never be happy with you
until you're the most successful
and most accomplished person they know,
but these are just unrealistic demands
that they somehow expect you to meet in order to win
the love they should have freely given in the first place.
Did you relate to any of the things we've mentioned?
Let us know in the comments below.
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The references and studies used in this video
are added in the description below.
Thanks for watching and we'll see you in our next video.