- Do you like to party?
(chuckles) No.
Do you like to party with milk?
Oh fuck, yeah dude.
Hey you.
My name is Thomas "Tomska" Ridgewell
and welcome back to Content.
The show on the internet
filmed in front of a live studio mosquito.
There is a mosquito in the room,
he's going to eat me.
Send help.
You know, what's relatable?
Having an identity crisis.
I'm pretty much always having one
because I chose a career that you can't easily explain
to a taxi driver or hairdresser.
How do you justify this to a real human being?
To help me sand off the edges
of my perpetual identity crisis,
I went to Twitter and asked you
to send me the weirdest quizzes you could find.
So I can finally figure out
who I am and what I've been put on this earth to do.
Like the song says, let's get quizzical.
That's a topical reference.
Shut up and watch the video.
Okay. How are we going to kick things off?
I think we'll start with the basics.
Am I male or female?
I feel like this should be a pretty simple
one question quiz.
How tall are you?
I'm five, nine.
I was five 10
and then I got fat
and the devil tried to pull me down to hell
so I got an inch shorter.
What is your physique like?
I hope there's chunky.
Large with a lot of muscle,
average, a little chubby,
lean and lithe,
soft with little muscle tone.
This is not, I'm not in this.
Guess I go with a little chubby.
(chuckles) A little chubby.
What is your skincare routine?
I get my body wet
and sometimes I put a little bit of soap
on the stinky bits.
Which side is your jacket zipper pull on?
What?
Which side is your jacket zipper pull on?
What does this mean?
What?
I think the zip is on the left.
I guess, what?
(upbeat music)
Is your face ticklish?
If it were, it probably wouldn't be so very hairy.
Do you have big feet?
I just have normal feet.
I've got feet.
I think if my feet were weird,
wiki feet would have told me by now.
Do you like your nose?
We hang out a lot
but we don't talk.
It's not very cute.
No, I hate it.
I've never thought about it.
It could be stronger.
Why is there no option to be like,
yeah, my nose is fucking fine.
It's my nose. - Could be stronger,
excuse me?
(Tom inhales)
- I can smell the sun.
Choose a workout.
No, thank you, I'll skip straight to that one.
Show me the results.
Yep, you're definitely a guy.
What a waste of time that was.
What would you be in a typical Omegaverse fic .
- [Charly] Yeah!
- Quiz introduction 1-800
Are you leaking?
Charly, what does this mean?
Is that come, is that a come thing?
Is this like Wolf fanfic?
(Charly laughing)
Is that what that is?
Your boo surprises ooh by coming over
when ooh still have oor fake nails on.
How many nails are you popping off
so you can, you know?
Well, obviously you'd only remove the nails
on your dominant hand
and also really you don't need to remove
maybe like two of them.
I'm just saying.
Pick a cartoon lady you had a crush on growing up.
Sheego, Starfire, any of the Disney princesses,
Jessica rabbit.
Raven, Raven.
I guess the closest approximation to Raven
is gonna be Sheego.
What's the intoxicating scent that sends you into heat.
Fuck, I hate this quiz.
Anything citrus, rose and begonia,
come. (laughs)
To be fair, if I actually did wanna pick something
that was like getting me going,
fresh linen and sunlight,
like honestly, just like,
oh, the house is clean.
That's pretty sexy.
Pick a core.
Thotcore.
I'm gonna have flashbacks to becoming an eagle.
We're gonna go with thotcore.
Oh, who am I kidding?
It's cottagecore.
Pick some lyrics about slick.
What does that mean?
Oh, Charly what's slick?
(Charly laughs)
Don't make me Google, what is it?
Drip, drip, drip,
drip drop you wet me more,
always in bikini bottoms
'cause I got that goo lagoon,
wet final touch, draw me in baby.
Goo lagoon.
I hate that but gotta go with it.
Oh, in your Omegaverse alternate universe,
what does your slick taste like?
(Charly laughs)
Pineapples.
Pineapples, you know I'm considerate.
What supplementary tag on an Omegaverse fic
would fill you with the most dread?
Fuck or die, eggpreg,
ugh fuck, cloaca sex,
hate that I know what that means.
Thanks, Content.
A cloaca is a bird's orifice.
And you can
figure out the rest. - Huh, ooh.
- Omega Ronald Weasley, slavery, lactation kink.
Fuck.
(Charly laughing)
What filled me with the most dread?
Cloaca, obviously.
A fucking bird pussy, dude.
Weirdest fandom to have Omegaverse fics in your opinion?
The Late Show with Steven Colbert, Elle Enchanted,
Undertale, Hamlet, Ed, Edd and Eddy, that was close,
My Little Pony.
The Late Show with Steven Colbert.
All right, I forgot what the question of this one was.
Oh no.
I have a sad announcement.
You are indeed leaking.
You are an Omega, the bottom.
Oh no,
of the proverbial totem pole.
In the fics, you're meek and mild
but outrageously sexy.
(Charly laughs)
You may not be aware of all your charms
but when you do realize it,
you can use your slick to make waves.
Don't feel as though you need an alpha
to make you whole.
You're a strong, independent Omega
and you don't need a knot.
(Charly laughing)
That quiz was bad.
What kind of milk are you?
Oh boy.
What's your favorite use for milk?
Cereal, coffee, feeding babies, just drinking,
having with cookies.
Squirting it out of a milk gun in a milk fight.
Ew, no, thank you.
I would go with giving to baby cows
because meat is a byproduct of the dairy industry.
Pick a drink.
I can have Thinkstock, Thinkstock
Thinkstock, Thinkstock, Thinkstock or Thinkstock.
Hmm yummy.
Gimme that hot choccie.
Gimme that hot choccie, babe.
Do you like to party?
(chuckles) No.
Do you like to party with milk?
Oh fuck, yeah, dude.
Cookie parties?
Oh, well fuck, dude.
Have you ever been to a milk party?
I refuse to believe that's a real thing.
Estimate how much milk you could chug
in a milk chugging contest.
How much milk could a milk chug, chug
if a milk chug could chug milk?
The question of a generation.
I have chugged four pints of milk in one go, once.
I'm chocolate milk.
This is a great quiz.
I'm happy with this answer.
You're so much fun.
You'll literally the funnest milk.
Yes.
Know thyself.
Oh fuck, yeah.
Which sexy costume and character are you?
Begin.
What do you want the most in life?
Adventure, to be myself, more time, silence.
More time to sleep.
How's your love life?
Non-existent, a disaster, blissful.
I feel like the closest to the truth
'cause it's not non-existent.
Is it really blissful?
- [Charly] What the fuck?
- [Whimsical Voice] Uh-oh.
- Look, I'm just saying, technically disaster
is closer to the truth than blissful.
- [Charly] What the fuck does that mean?
- It's blissful.
It was blissful.
What kind of hug are you willing to give on the regular?
I never thought I'd click a supernatural gif by choice.
That's for damn sure.
Who's the shadiest friend?
Obviously, it is Chandler.
Stupid question.
What a stupid question.
Choose a midnight snack.
Butter.
Grilled cheese.
Aw, that sounds great
but you would have to make it
but I guess grilled cheese.
Which quote speaks best to you?
"The world is a book and those who do not travel,
read only one page."
"Dear future generations:
Please accept our apologies..."
Yep, there it is.
How do you feel when someone asks you to hang out?
What a spectrum of emotions
but truthfully, I am already drunk.
So, the one involving holding alcohol.
How do you feel right now?
God, yeah, that scans.
I'm Lion-O from Thunder Cats.
Hmm.
Yeah, that scans more.
What kind of pizza am I?
Oh, fuck, yeah.
Pick an Italian food that isn't pizza.
Ooh, give me that tortellini, baby.
Pick a dessert.
Hm, gimme that crepe.
Which picture would you most like to visit IRL?
Beach please.
My most dominant personality trait.
I'm not ambitious.
I can be loyal.
I think I'm intelligent.
I am pretty sensitive.
Sensitive, fuck it.
Oh no, vegetarian pizza.
I made the wrong choice.
I don't want to be sensitive anymore.
No.
No!
You're a low-key sensitive person
who often tries to please everyone.
Fuck off.
Very creative and a bit of a daydreamer.
Fuck off.
And you often wonder how to put all the dreams
and goals you have into action.
Oh, aw shit.
I am a vegetarian pizza.
All right, here's an important question.
What literary genre are you based
on your One Direction opinions?
The only time I ever listened to One Direction by choice,
I was having a manic episode.
Here's a song from Take Me Home.
Well, I'm stuck.
Moving on.
Which type of timeless space are you?
Your guardian angel comes to visit.
She smells...
(laughs)
That's just end.
She smells.
Ew, like vanilla.
Nope, I'd fucking feel sick
if my guardian angel smelled like vanilla.
Vanilla makes me want to vomit.
It smells like moldy milk.
Who the fuck likes the smell of vanilla?
You're all wrong.
You are all wrong.
I once got in an Uber
and he had a vanilla thingy scent thingy.
I had to get out
because I kept retching.
I hate the smell of vanilla.
You have the option to start over
and do it all again differently this time.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
I'm gonna make so much money.
I will be the peanut butter baby.
Me.
Your childhood self is staring back at you.
I'm so sorry, kid.
They open their mouth and ask you a question.
It instantly causes you to burst into tears.
I have seen you.
I have seen your life.
Am I really going to let this happen?
How do I do better?
Fuck me, me. - What the fuck?
- Me is mean. - What the fuck is that?
- And yeah, a hundred percent childhood self
depends on what age
but he'd go with the main option every time.
Little bastard.
My result is,
stepping out of the cinema and it's dark out.
That's not a timeless feeling.
I think it's weirder when you step outside the cinema
and it's daytime.
Tell us about your boyfriend
and we'll guess how big his dick is.
What is your favorite physical feature of me?
(Charly laughing) Answer the question.
Why are you laughing?
- [Charly] Chest
- Really?
(Charly giggles)
All right.
Oh boy.
What best describes me in bed?
(Charly laughs) (Tom giggles)
Passionate, adventurous, kinky, dominant, gentle,
jackhammer (imitates jackhammer rumbling)
Passionate.
- [Charly] Yeah.
- All right. Are you happy with the size of his dick?
Now, Charly.
I wish it was bigger.
I wish it was smaller.
I wish it was thicker.
I wish it wasn't so thick.
I'm not too fussed about it.
It's the perfect size.
Answer truthfully.
You're not fussed about my dick?
Wow.
Sweet, I got seven inches.
(Charly laughing)
Why are you laughing?
Fuck it, you know what?
Which character from the Bee Movie am I?
What do you do in your free time?
Read, watch TV, view social media,
go to the gym.
I'm on social media when I'm watching TV.
Pick a place from the B Movie.
Vanessa's house, tennis court, car, beehive.
Vanessa's house.
Oh, fuck, yeah, I'm Vanessa.
Oh, baby
I'm caring and I don't judge people for who they are.
Yeah, I'd fuck her bee,
I'd fuck a bee.
Oh boy.
Well, I think it's safe to say
that I learned absolutely nothing about myself
and anything you learned about me,
I employ you to forget.
Here's my favorite fan art this week
and here are the most recent contents.
Contents come out every Tuesday.
So I'll see you next Tuesday.
And before I go, I wanna say a quick thank you
to anyone who bought or shared the I like trans shirts.
That fundraiser is over now
and we raised a total of 13,913 pounds
which has been donated to Gendered Intelligence
and I couldn't have done it without all of you.
So thank you very much
and I'll see you next time. Tomska out. (imitates fart)