Goosebumps scared me no end when I was a wee lass…. talking dummys, living mummys, people
turning into plants, ghosts, ghouls…the classic stuff of children’s literature.
But what if it was more than that – what if it was all true? Listener beware, you’re
in for a scare. Hello and welcome back to Life’s Biggest
Questions – I am your host and you have no idea how excited I about this video! I
love me a spook, especially when it comes with a What If simulation! Join me as we ask
WHAT IF Goosebumps was real?
Before we get into this video, why don’t you guys let me know what your favourite scary
goosebumps story or character is in the comments section down below. Mine has the Phantom of
the Opera one – I loved it – but I do like me some theatre.
Right! Goosebumps! Goosebumps are a collection of children’s horror books by author R L
Stein that spanned the 90s and beyond. Fun fact for you – there are 231 Goosebumps
books! Who knew! So many! There were 62 original classics shall we say and 170 ish spin offs.
So, with so many books detailing so many scary stories and scenarios, if Goosebumps were
real then all manner of spooks would be unleashed, ghosts, vampires, the sasquatch, the abominable
snowman, evil robots, living dummies, magic, witchcraft, evil scientists…. We would basically
be living in one giant episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer…which would kind of be all
my 11 year old dreams come true, but not in practice!
If the world of Goosebumps was real, would we accept the mystical, or would we be just
as surprised as the teenagers in all the books are? The situation always seems to go that
teenager X meets teenager Y and together they discover some kind of horrifying and unexpected
spook – for example, the abandoned theme park is alive and filled with menace, or explore
a cave only to find a mutant in it. If Goosebumps was real, would this be the norm and if so,
would we shy away from exploring abandoned places for fear of what we might encounter?
Would we become better law abiding citizens? Would we stick to curfews and keep holy water
in abounds…isn’t that what would make us good little teenagers…curiosity killed
the cat and all of that. Orrr would some of us actively seek out the drama, the danger
but be prepared for it when it came. You can’t catch someone off guard when they are expecting
you! Perhaps groups of vigilantes would patrol….or maybe…ooh maybe we could have real life
scooby gangs and vampire slayers! Y
ou know what would suck of Goosebumps were real? I’ll tell you what - that for the
purposes of some kind of grand afterschool special morality lesson you may metamorphosize
into like…a worm…because you stepped on a worm once…or you turn into a chicken because
you knocked a cursed old lady over… sure some people may be like…hey, you deserved
to be turned into a bee, but are they really seeing the bigger picture…. Humans bees.
It is a psychological cluster…duck….ducks everywhere….but they’re evil and they
want to peck you for some reason and nothing is how it should be.
If all of the things in Goosebumps were real - Evil Grand High Executioners, evil news
reporters, green slime monster blood, living jack o lanterns and the line – would you
trust anyone, ever or be shocked by anything, ever? If even a plate of scrambled eggs is
out to get you, if taking a photograph accidentally puts a curse on everyone you snap, if opening
a book unleashes a blob that eats everyone… At what point does stuff stop shocking you!
A few final thoughts for you…. You know where I wouldn’t fancy living if Goosebumps
were real? The Unites States of America. Almost all the stories in the Goosebumps books take
place in the USA, which would mean it would be a hot bed for demonic activity and malicious
trickery. You’d never celebrate another Halloween without being set upon by people
who, like, turn into their costumes, or go to summer camp without disturbing some kind
of ancient Native American burial ground. You know where also probably isn’t safe?
Popular tourist destinations. If the Goosebumps series ever ventured outside of the US it
was usually to the Tower of London or the Pyramids of Egypt. You’d be best off living
in lesser known spots such as Alice Springs or Skgeness…or… you know where there aren’t
any Goosebump officiated monsters – SPACE. In his main series, RL Stein never mentions
aliens or space as a setting for terror…so… get Elon on the phone, if Goosebumps were
real I want OUT. Space, or hiding in a locked padded cell are basically the only options.
Ultimately, the Goosebumps books were so great because they played off every day concerns
and fears…that shadow in your bedroom isn’t just the weird reflection, that noise under
your bed isn’t just a loose spring… if Goosebumps were real, the things that go bump
in the night would be genuine concerns. Yes, each book was nothing more than a teenager
could handle – but if the world really is in peril from a multitude of issues at the
very same time, do we really want horny old Dwayne and Sarah saving us? No. We want the
Military! Luckily though, Goosebumps isn’t real, we can sleep soundly tonight without
the fear of falling asleep and accidentally warping reality. I am excited about the Second
Goosebumps movie out this October though…. Nostalgia is realer than any work of Stein’s
fiction! Orrrr is it. No, yeah, it is…I just though it would be more fun to end on
a spooky voice.
Thanks for tuning in to this video – what would you do if goosebumps was real? Let me
know in the comments section down below! Also don’t forget to let me know your favourite
Goosebumps book! While you are down there why don’t you like and share this video
and also click that notification bell…IF YOU DARE. Okay, okay, enough I get it!
I am your host Rebecca Felgate, I’ll catch you in the next video but until then, stay
curious, stay alert and never ever stop questioning.